Friday, September 01, 2006

Hospital food is the dog's bollocks.

I'm against it!
Firstly ta very much to you lot for the best wishes. Fair brought a tear to my eye it did. Speaking of eyes...
It all started with Etheline, as these things will, saying, 'Your eye is all wonky, it's going the wrong way.'
And then it all went down hill from there, Two days lounging about on a trolley, being ignored and having to play bathroom tag with a thieving trolley stealing wench from Antrim, more days being poked, stuck on a drip, prodded, learning how to say 'hostible', and 'package decrips,' and 'here Nuuursse I ditint get none oh dem tablets.' OH and for funny fun fun the girl next to me had about forty different ring tones on her mobile phone. All of which I heard.
It was hellish, hellish I tell ya.The feverish horror of the menu, the bathrooms, time goes out the window, it's roasting hot, and you end up watching soap operas and caring about the frankly ridiculous plots and characters ( will Krissy get him back after he find out about her lying about her child having cancer?) falling asleep at three in the afternoon and getting all misty eyed about 'outside'. You cling to friends and yet you are exhausted by their cheery tones. And there was no booze to dull the pain ( despite some folk's best efforts at smuggling, ta T) and no bloomin' sleeping tablets-which my doctor thinks I shouldn't be taking, in fact he was rather alarmed when I told him of my regular narcotic intake- and no escape from visiting mothers, who was in her hypo element. And woe, poor old Paramour was beset by siblings and mothers at every turn. But he held his own and his arms are still yummy.
So it seems all the vomiting should have been a sign that something was wrong, I thought it was just from the hangover and what not, but nope, I cracked my head off the floor when Memnoch popped me one. I"m still a bit fizzy about the last few days but that's groovy. Fizzy I can do, hostibles I can do without.
To celebrate my delight at returning to my abode and the return of my poor old cats-who have had to survive my eldest sister and her children, I'm taking my thinner still slighty fuddled ass into Brown Thomas and I am buying my self new shoes. Then I'm meeting French Gay for lunch, and yes, it will involve some liquid. Don't want my liver getting all cocky now. Although It enjoyed the rest I'm sure.
Oh and if I have to listen to The Pussy Cat Dolls 'song' Buttons, once more in my whole life I will not be responsible for my actions.
I'm against them too.

44 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:51 a.m.

    Glad you're on the path to recovery, FMC. We missed you terribly! Don't listen to those pesky doctors - enjoy your sleeping pills and liquid lunch. Better living through chemistry, I say.

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  2. Welcome back, FMC, hope you are soon back to your normal self. Is Twenty Major the paramour? Or would that be telling?

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  3. Na, he's French Gay isn't he?

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  4. Anonymous12:50 p.m.

    We've had a glimpse of life without you and I didn't like it one bit.Welcome back Sweetheart.x

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  5. Anonymous12:59 p.m.

    Those floor can be very hard alright but at least you are out for the weekend. try spending three wekks in this hell hole called cyprus.

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  6. Anonymous1:15 p.m.

    WELCOME BACK!!!!!!

    Please never go away again, cyberworld was not the same without you.

    Glad to hear your healthy appetite for "liquid stimulation" has returned - I knew something was seriously wrong in your last post when you were talking about going on the wagon!

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  7. cyprus doesn't have FMC's mom, macdara. (hope you get back to the leb soon.)

    welcome back cat! your hospital stay sounds miserable, esp since it didn't involve any painkillers. if you end up in the hostible, you should at least get some good drugs. but you must be summat back to your old self if you're going on a shoe hunt.

    have a wonderful weekend.

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  8. Anonymous2:09 p.m.

    Welcome back. I wish you hadn't mentioned shoes. Very interested in a reply to Shebah's question....

    ReplyDelete
  9. WHEW!!!

    Glad you're back, dear, and from what you've put on today's agenda, it sounds like you're back in 'playoff form.'

    Twenty? Alias Paramour? Doubt it. But I bet Twenty's a good enough looking fella. (Wait...I think I may have a concussion...)

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  10. Anonymous2:30 p.m.

    A concussion or you've been drinking very heavily, Andraste. Or maybe you need to start. Eh, either way...

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  11. Well, Annie, it IS Friday.

    Martinis, I think.

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  12. Anonymous4:56 p.m.

    A martini sounds like a good place to start. I'm on it...

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  13. Anonymous5:01 p.m.

    A martini sounds like a good place to start. I'm on it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Cat!!! I went through awful withdrawl without you around to brighten my day. And I was honestly worried about you!

    Glad you're okay! And shoe therapy is the best therapy.

    I mean, besides drinking. Naturally. ;)

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  15. Twenty as the Paramour? Snarf. I love Twenty, but he lifts his leg to fart in public and insists the word 'cunt' can be used as a verb/adverb/noun/adjective and pronoun.
    Oh Andraste love I'm totally with you on the martini, glad you're having a better day today. I am going to get changed any minute now and head out for the evening, I feel like a new woman, I swear to god. Ooh I missed this little corner of the blog world, daft isn't it? I don't know any of y'all from Adam, and yet I couldn't wait to check in and see if y'all were dandy. Eeeeeeeee ain't life grand.

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  16. Welcome back The Cat! I was starting to get a bit worried about you there.

    My mammy voice wants to tell you to take it easy, hot chocolate, scrambled eggs and Mackintosh reds etc. However my Problem side lifts the skirts of the mammy side showing everyone her knockers and causing her to go running back to her pantry with sobbing wails. The Problem side says, have one for me and I'll toast your return to health and rum tonight.

    Good to have you back darlin'.

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  17. That would be knickers, although breastfeeding twins will do shocking things to a woman's knockers. For all my life my granny's knockers were part of her waistline measurement. I just can't wait for that...

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  18. Anonymous8:21 p.m.

    Sam,

    My favorite old knockers joke is what's located between an old woman's breasts? Her belly button! Ha!

    FMC - pure hell without you. Glad you're back and in fine drinking form. Be good, be careful, have fun. Pick one.

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  19. Oh thank god! Me can stop worrying and send you out big blue hairy hugs for you return. FMC me am so glad you am OK and all that... because me got this GREAT idea for Blunt Cog and it not go over too well if you dead, maimed or permanently damaged in some way.

    Love you guts lady!

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  20. Anonymous9:18 a.m.

    re: blunt cog by monstee

    does he ever die or is it just a state of perpetual torture??? does it make you feel a little better FMC?

    has anyone located him yet and exacted a suitable revenge? or are you waiting to serve it up to him cold???

    northvan insomniac...nights were rough out here without your blogs and thus everyone's comments too!! had to resort to tv....the horrors!

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  21. Oh yes, you have to see Monstee's Blunt Cogs creation!

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  22. This is superb news.
    The novena must have worked.
    That big sounds a complete knob whether his body’s a temple or not.
    We can only hope that what’s for him won’t go by him
    Hitting girls is wrong.

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  23. Did you get a catheter? I won't consider any institutionalization, temporary or otherwise, unless there's a catheter involved.

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  24. No cathethers, sheeeet, that would have most surely sucked the big one. I"ll pop on over to Blunt cogs now, Can't watch Peter Crouch's legs a moment longer. You must be pleased by today's result Docky, Faroe Islands are a hardy bunch, like them there shaggy sheep you find eating lichen and gorse and whatnot. Then I'm off out to watch-and pray against- Germany spanking Ireland's evergreen behind.

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  25. well you are most fortunate FMC, because our FA sold the rights to sky. I can see England on BBC Scotland if I want, which I don't.

    I wopuld be optimistic for Ireland agin the Gerries. Kiss of death. sorry.

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  26. Anonymous1:19 a.m.

    Glad you're feeling better fmc - dare I ask if you're returning to kick-boxing?

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  27. Sigh, we lost the footie, quelle surprise. Two sheds, I will indeed be returning to kickboxing, as soon as I get the all clear. What sort of jellybaby would I be if I didn't?

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  28. mess that cunt up, cat.

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