Transformers: A short and spoiler free review.
'What the fuck? Baby daughter? Oh ahahahah, Marines don't curse.'
Verump! Love you honey! Boom! Verump! SUPER HELLA BOOM!Verump! SMASH BOOM BOOM!
'Cooooooool, did you see that paramour? It was a sonic boom!! Look at the tanks, see how they...wooooooaaahhhh!'
Verump!
'IT'S UNDER THE SAND!!!!'
Boom, bang bang bang, Urgh.
"LOOK OUT! this popcorn is yicky. I'm gonna call it poopcorn. Golly, you're very fucking stoned."
Verump!
"Is Jon Voight in every film out now?'
'Heee heee, he's funny, Perez hates him but fuck Perez, she's no Angelina,'
VERUMPPPPFUCKINPPPPPPPPP,
'Weeeeeeeee, it's not a car! We should have got chewy snakes, I love them.'
'I should have got M&Ms.'
VERUMP!
'Presto chango!!!! "Transformers Robots in Disguise!!!"
'Honey stop singing.'
I AM OPTIMUS PRIME!
'HE IS OPTIMUS PRIME NEMESIS OF MEGATRON!!!"
'Honey, shusssh!'
'IT"S IN YOUR PHONE!!!"
'SHUUUUSH!"
'Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'
'Hey look, that's fucking cool!'
VERUMPPPPPPPPPP!
'Weeeeee'
Crash,wallops, heee heeee.
Verumph.
Get the glasses! Quick! Offer to kill the small dog.
'That's like Toffee/Poppy's Big surprise!'
Verumph!
'John Tuturro! Whaaaaaaaa?'
Whaaaaaarrrraammmpph!
Weeeeeeeee
Blam, slam explosion!
'He's mean! Get back to the Cohen brothers' you filthy bum! They've done the Cormac McCarthy's bloody book you know!'
'Shusssssh.'
'Weee, don't give up BUMBLEBEE! WE LOVE YOU! Why would a robot have eyelashes?'
Let's go to the super secret base camp with these nobodies.
Oh oh, Megatron's pissed!
Run!
Fight! Fight! Shoot Shoot, type type!
VERRUMPH!
RUNNNNN!!!!!
'DON"T TEAR HIM IN TWO YOU BULLYYYYYWAHHHHHHH!'
KIsssy kisssy,
VERUMPH!
Fight to somebody's death,
'URGH, THAT DROP IS MAKING ME SICK!"
'Shuuush!'
BIKE STUNT? JUMP SHARK????? WHO CAN SAY????
'Did you know he's going out with Fergie from Black Eyed Peas? Bleee, HOLY SHIT! IT"S FALLING!'
VERUMPH!!!!!
'Weeeee, noble speeches suck, who the fuck cares, bring back the sounds!'
Urgh, KIssy kissy,
'NOT THOSE SOUNDS!'
noble speech.
AWESOME!!!!!
"This is the worst popcorn ever. Where's the car again?'
'I thought you were going to call it poopcorn?'
'What's with the spirit fingers?"
'That was some good grass.'
'Awesome.'
'It is the only way to see films.'
Hahahahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteNo, wait, I had something to say....
No I didn't...
Hahahahahaha! Best film review ever!
That good? Meself and herself are deffo going this week...
ReplyDeleteI loved it. I love big explosions and loud bangs and ridiculous plot. I love films like this, that aren't trying to be anything else but total entertaining pap. The opening three minutes-after the marine goody goody talk- had me and the paramour going...'woooahhhh.'
ReplyDeleteThere were some laugh out loud stuff and if you can ignore the noble talk it's very very amusing.
Not high art, but entertaining, that's what I want sometimes. You know, total tripe.
The paramour's making me go to the Simpson's movie next week ( I still owe him from History of Violence, even though I've picked at least ten movie he's enjoyed since, but that one sucked so VELLY badly he claims I still owe him two more choices of film, damn it) I only hope it's as amusing, then Bourne, which looks AWESOME!
You know that Cronenberg film is seriously underated, no really! Bourne will be fab, and DH 4.0 was most excellently super silly, with requisite Brucie bloodied-but-unbowed-in-a-skanky-t-shirt, and an FBI Johnson joke.
ReplyDeleteI loved DH4, especially when he kicked that vicious bitch down the elevator shaft. I believe I went, 'Whoooo!"
ReplyDeleteIs the new bourne movie out ? Fantastic something to do when I get back home. I really am getting tored of the Sun.
ReplyDelete17th! Shut it as well.
ReplyDeleteWonderful review, FMC!
ReplyDeleteBut on a side note, I try to avoid PH altogether. His level of fame is without merit when he has half the talent of Michael K.
Oh PH makes me ill, he's a rejected spawn. Michael is my bitch hero.
ReplyDeleteExcellent review.I went to see it twice and loved it as well.Best line was John T's
ReplyDelete" Criminals are HAWT"
haha, yes I laughed at that too, plus he was delightfully droll and over the top at the same time, only he and Gary Oldman can really pull that sort of thing off.
ReplyDeleteand to think I almost didn't go - brill!
ReplyDeleteWas there grass in your version Flirty?
ReplyDeleteI don't think I've seen that one. Can't swear mind.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA!! Great review FMC!!
ReplyDeleteAlthough... me not so sure if you was reviewing movie or grass... but hey, whatever.
It sounded great to me!
Who can say, my little furry friend, really, who can say? All I know was me likey.
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