I know control panel underwear and padded bras and girdles and christ knows what else have been employed by ladies for MANY years to enhance the figure, but how do we feel about Spanx for the more dudular in your life? Fellas? Would you wear one, knowing you might take three inches off your waist? Well? ladies, would you be delir-ed and excir-ed watching your other half or even a first date-er strip off revealing Spanx.
In the interest of fairness I rang the Paramour in work.
'Hello?'
'Hi, would you wear Spanx?'
'What?!'
'Spanx, you know that thing that was in the Times.'
'Not a chance.'
'Why?'
'You said it was uncomfortable and he couldn't breath. that's stupid, if he's worried about his waist he should just wear a loose t-shirt.'
'Even if it pulled your waist in by 3 inches?'
'I don't give a shit about that.'
'Okay dokey, see you later.'
'Er... bye.'
Spanx 0 /Confused man- 1
Spanx 0 / Sensible Men 2
ReplyDelete...does it come in Lilac? Christmas is coming, after all.
Sorry, I'm just guffawing at the idea of my mother actaully managing to get into one, and where it would all go. A Lilac Stay Puff Marshmallow Woman is the only thing that comes to mind.
ReplyDeleteI'd rather not rely on something like that if it is at all possible to lose that 3inch flab through exercise. But basically it's just a very tight t-shirt, so I could see quite a few fellas wearing one without it affecting their masculinity. Man-bags became acceptable, and I think these will too.
ReplyDeleteI probably wouldn't wear one in all honesty, but if I start piling on the pounds I could reconsider.
erm... FOOTBALL! CAR ENGINES! GRUNTING! BOOBIES!
Phew! Nearly turned a bit metrosexual there.
hah, I can imagine you getting jiggy with it all right Sheepie.
ReplyDeleteWhere's Morgor when you need him, you just KNOW he'd have a bash.
Of the bishop.
ReplyDeleteoh go on then, but only in a manly black or grey.
ReplyDeleteTry it out Leeroy, get back to us with some reaction. I'll bet you'll be hawt stuff.
ReplyDeleteOf course all this is making the cheeky assumption that any of the chaps here might NEED spanx, and I'm sure that's not the case.
Twenty, he really got you good with the surname.
It's basically a 'foundation' garment for men, right? Like Madame Noras used to sell on O'Connell Street? A sort of Grrrrrdle for fat blokes?
ReplyDeleteI believe it sucks you in, buffs you up and makes your junk look triumphant.
ReplyDeleteI always semi-remember a Dolly Parton line from Steel Magnolias where upon observing a lady friend out and about not wearing her girdle said, 'It's like watching two pigs fighting in a bag.'
Indeed.
I see. Probly comes with a built-in gel six-pack, like those strange gel-bummed cycling shorts Aldidl were selling.
ReplyDeletegel bummed shorts? Really? How... soothing.
ReplyDeleteI dunno, might feel a bit like a full nappy, and then you go sit on yer bike... eeeeeeeeeyuck!
ReplyDeleteMajor you slag.
ReplyDeleteI might wear the Spanx for Halloween but that's about it.
I generally try to be quite "au natural".
I only use hair gel at a push, and then only if I need a hair cut.
(currently sporting a big fluffy head with matching unshaven cheeks)
I tried giving up anti-perspirant, but considering there's no shower at work and I often cycle I relented.
Sheepworrier : man bags are NOT acceptable.
Neither are highlights.
Unless of course the specimen in question is homosexual in which case he has a different set of rules.
I do use moisturiser occasionally mind you and I have gotten my gf to wax my back before but that's as far into that territory as I go.
I was thinking about something similar this morning--since I'm at that stage where my prego belly is all guts, no baby, it's kind of a shapeless pooch instead of the (if the gossip mags are any indication) desirable "bump." Surely someone has thought of making a girdle to shape this intestinal mass into a petite little globe.
ReplyDeleteThey'd be idiots, and masochists to boot, of course, but it's not like these Spanx folks are Nobel prize-winners.
Morgor: moisturiser? Oooooo, get you! *minces around the room*
ReplyDeleteI dont have a man-bag, but they do suit some of the preening, metrosexual fellas who some women seem to go weak at the knees for.
I agree tho - highlights are unacceptable for straight fellas, despite their prevalence among the rugger bugger types.
God Grims, enjoy it while it's small and smoochy.
ReplyDeleteMen, I think y'all should try Spanx and report back, possibly with before and after photos. I'll be in the kichen making popcorn.
"Men, I think y'all should try Spanx and report back, possibly with before and after photos."
ReplyDeleteOh, yeah?
What's in it for us?
And is there extra whatever-it-is-you're-offerin' for thems that don a ginger wig?
I only know one guy with a man bag.
ReplyDeletebut he also uses fake tan and I suspect he is bisexual.
(well he snogged another fella)
I'm offering a bottle of Havana Rum to the best Spanx and Ginger wig wearer and the even the possibility to star in our very own Ginger Friday!!
ReplyDeleteThe fake six pack is the best part.
ReplyDeleteI'm picturing it on a dude with Ronald Reagan jet black hair and a pinkie ring like Paulie Walnuts.
FMC, did you read that lap cat of the patriarchy's interview with Tina Fey for Vanity Fair?
ReplyDeleteGuffaws! I love Paulie. Love the way they put the Spanx on a pretty decent physical specimen, they ought to try it out on Johnny Vegas, THEN we'll see how good it is.
ReplyDeleteAbout the scar and shit? Yeah I skimmed it rolled my eyes and wandered off to worry about how much of a girlie girl I am.
ReplyDelete"I'm offering a bottle of Havana Rum to the best Spanx and Ginger wig wearer and the even the possibility to star in our very own Ginger Friday"
ReplyDeleteOh its frickin on! How much do they cost?
£49!? Feck that!
But Sheepie! Think of the buff inspired ginger hawtness that could be you! A whole friday post with you as staaaaar. Then a bottle of Havan to sooth the flaming..er discomfort afterwards.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Sheepo, you'd better up your offer!
ReplyDelete£49's (€57) would buy you almost four bottles of rum in Asda up North at the mo.
I'll maybe take a wee jaunt by the local sportishness store tamarra night and see what's on offer...
ReplyDeleteWill the rum hide the shame too?
It will sheepie, hide it good and proper.
ReplyDeleteIt's not the prize Conan, it's the HONOR of being included in a Gingerday photo, surely.
Any Habana ceeegars with that rum?
ReplyDeleteWell, if this could take all the excess from my waist and push it down to my schlong, I'd have 3 legs.
ReplyDeletehah, so you in Kim? All photos to be in before Ginger day the 27th
ReplyDeleteConan, no steeenking Ceegars.
if it took 3 inches of my waist, my trousers would be around my ankles
ReplyDeleteShow off.
ReplyDeleteMan Spanx.....hmmmmm can't see it taking off in rural NZ.
ReplyDeleteI remember once mercilessly taking the piss out of a guy who had lipo on his tummy. Which was possibly a little rude as I'd only met him that night.
How did he end up telling you about it on a first night ducky? That's the question!
ReplyDeleteNo ceeeegar = no hanky spanx!
ReplyDeleteYou don't know what yer missing!
ReplyDeleteHis good (female)friend told me! A strange man, obnoxiously wealthy and I think he was quite pleased with himself.
ReplyDeleteGreat website. Plenty of useful information here.
ReplyDeleteI'm sending it to a few pals ans additionally sharing in delicious. And obviously, thank you in your sweat!
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