You want a slap with that sigh?

Okay, I'm typing with one hand while I busily squeeze lime into my rum and coke with the other. The first possible future renters (PFR) have just gone and I'm trying VELLY hard not to get all mad and shit. I will however have a drink-well I was going to do that anyway, but you get my drift.
She was blonde and gorgeous. He was not. That's all you need to know. I'd say he had plenty of money, you might need to know that actually.
He said, 'oh you have cats.' in the same tone as most people say ' Oh your lady patch is simply infested with lice.'
She didn't do this at all. She scratched Puddy under the chin. If she had a small dog with her Puddy would have loved her long time.
He swung his car keys around and around and around in his hands the whole time I was showing them around. He was driving a merc, I know because the Merc sign was on his keys, the keys he was swinging around and around-Merc sign out.
She liked my suede wallpaper. He wanted to know was it coming furnished. He then wrinkled his nose when I said 'partly'
She said , 'wow, nice kitchen.'
He said, ''you'd need to put a security gate up on the doors to the terrace.'
I said, 'why to stop the magpies breaking in?'
She laughed, he didn't.
He humed, he hawed, he tapped things, he sighed. My eyebrows got lower, the paramour tightened his grip on my hand.
Eventually they left after giving me a squillion references.
I don' t care what his references say, I didn't like him.
He won't be getting the apartment.
The evil smelling gimp.