Oh for the love of marmalade. Lipotrim- that ridiculous starvation diet that was much lauded here last year- has got some competition. Trumpets please....
Welcome to 'celebrity slim' -ain't the name catchy? Don't it exude glamour and high society? Celebrity? Slim? Why it is irresistible. And best of all it's SOLD in Chemists- like Lipotrim!! That means it must be super duper and medically sound, right? Right? It must have mystical magical scientific properties, because if it didn't it woudl be sold in shops, right? It wouldn't be just yet again another Slimfast pile of crap. I mean with 'Celebrity Slim' you only have to replace two of your daily meals with a disgusting, sorry, I mean delicious nutritious shake. Why this is progress! With Lipotrim you don't eat at all! Huzzah Huzzah!
Only two shakes. And you can have an apple! Or maybe even a piece of carrot during the day!!!! You can 'loose' one million pounds on this amazing life altering diet. You only need to not eat very much at all and drink gallons of water every day. Not eating to lose weight...it's revolutionary. Everyone knows that's super healthy. Fark me, I don't know why I bother going to a gym at all. I mean it's so obvious isn't it? All of these amazing diets out there and I just keep going and doing stupid shit like exercising and, oh I don't know, eating actual food. I mean you can 'loose' about 8 pound of fat a week!! Pure fat. I mean everyone know the scales are what shows how healthy you are right?
Celebrity Slim, oh where can I sign up... Oh yeah, local chemist. Huzzah.
"a scientific yet realistic programme" - it says so on the medicare site, so it must be true...
ReplyDeleteOo, Fmc's on the sarcasm diet. And rightly so.
ReplyDeleteThe awful thing is you know so many people are going to buy into it.
WooHoo! Do they come in Chocolate Doughnut and Deep Fried Mars Bar flavours?
ReplyDeleteI take it that you have had a bad experience on this "diet" then FMC?
ReplyDeleteheh, I was watching 64 stone mom last night, hilarious stuff.
ReplyDelete....sorry, no time to comment, must run to the chemist!!
ReplyDeleteIt's so cool living in the twenty-first century cause diets have all these crazy drug names.
ReplyDeleteIn the olden days it was boring old diets like the'Just the Stop Eating All the Pies Diet' and the 'Hey Lazy, Do Some Exercise to Burn Off What You Put In Diet.'
Wow this century is soooo cool!
I agree with everything you say - unfortunately they don't sell willpower and common sense in chemists. I am beginning to think they need to sell a "LipoConcrete" or "LipoExpansionPlastic" diet to all the excessively obese people in this country - something that will fill them up for about a fortnight at a time, just leaving room for no solids, just the required amount of daily water. It is becoming such a serious problem here that the goverment is actually discussing taking fat children into care! Funeral directors are now having to arrange double sized coffins. Jeez.
ReplyDeleteI dislike diets in all shapes and forms, because demonstrably the diet industry is flourishing and obesity is rising at an alarming rate. I particularly hate 'quick fix' diets like Lipotrim and Celebrity Slim because they do nothing but starve a person, charge them a fortune, fuck with the metabolism and address no part of what caused that person to become over weight in the first place.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that these diets are food based yet sold exclusively in chemists is actually a cynical marketing ploy, designed to convince the would be dieter that they are taking their health and weight in hand and that the medical industry is behind them. On most of the Lipotrim threads that were so prevelant last year the numbers and way down, not because everyone suddenly got skinny and are now running about in size 2 jeans but because the diet is unsustainable and a large number of the dieters- those poor souls who are not on their third or fourth attempts- have regained their original weight and in some cases more.
There are NO quick fixes to considerable weight loss-leaving aside gastric banding. A slow steady loss is possible if there is an understanding of why you because over weight in the first place, and no one every becomes over weight over night.
And just imagine what the extra gas emissions from these fat bastids is doing to the environment. Must be at least equal to the bovine emissions. Har!
ReplyDeleteI feel a bit sorry for them actually-or at least today I do- it's hard to suddenly make a life-style change and human nature to grasp at easy options first. We've all done it I'm sure in one way or another. But fuck it, there are always hucksters waiting in the wings.
ReplyDeleteI really really dislike hucksters.
ReplyDeleteOn a serious note - I think hypnosis works - if people genuinely want to loss weight, it reinforces their will - I think it should be provided free on the national health, as many sessions as the person needs until it is second nature not to overeat, together with a talk on nutrition with a professional and a properly personalised diet sheet. It could be called the "HyppoDiet".
ReplyDeleteIf there is an after life I can hear the conversations already -'How did you die?'
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'What are diet pills?'
I want to shake people who take diet pills and shout at them, 'Yes we have email, but just because we have instant messaging doesn't mean that we should have instant dieting.'
They have this new diet pill out now that 'makes you fit' Amazing! I wonder if I take ten will I be able to do the marathon without any training? Diet pills, repeat after me, amphetamines.
ReplyDeleteI absolutly hate how I feel and look when I put on even a small amount of weight - I feel my clothes look ugly and tight and it is very depressing to feel bad about yourself - even catching sight of yourself in a shop window is depressing. Losing post baby weight is surely the most difficult of all to shift. But unless you are happy to court the very real health problems caused by excess weight, such as diabetes, I just feel you have a responsibility to yourself and your loved ones to stay slim and healthy. It takes quite a long time and multiple second portions to get seriously overweight so I am afraid I have little sympathy for the obese, they've worked hard to get that way.
ReplyDeleteI really feel like having a big doughnut now.
ReplyDelete"And just imagine what the extra gas emissions from these fat bastids is doing to the environment."
ReplyDeleteThat is a terrible thing to say. That kind of ignorance is much more detrimental to the environment than these unfortunate people.
I think those types of things should not be sold. They cannot be good for you. It is genetically modified rubbish. I know big corporations make a killing in this kind of market but, I would imagine there is a lot of money to be made in promoting healthy living, eating a lot of fruit and vegetables and getting outside regardless of the weather, going for a run or a walk or whatever.
Nonny
Yes, I remember first experiencing diet pills. It was the early nineties, 3 a.m on New Year's Day, someone produced a bottle of them -which about eight of us hoovered (in order to see the sunrise), as a result we did see the sunrise and I was thoroughly disappointed I wasn't the least bit interested in breakfast the following morning. Felt like complete shit by about 2 p.m.
ReplyDeleteI know two girls who went on Lipotrim and they both losta lot of weight. That was last year and so far they have kept it off. I am not saying it's right or wrong, but they did get a great self esteem boost from it.
ReplyDeleteIf you dont mind mne saying so FMC you do seem to have a somewhat condescending attitude to people who have done the diet.
When all is said and done, if it makes THEM feel better even for a while, what skin is it off your nose.
Running like a hamster in the gym is not everyones idea of fun or even R nad R, but if it works for you, so be it. I do detect in your writing a certain "it's not fair" attitude, in that you are complaining about you having to burn off the calories in the gym, while these lazy slobs go on Lipotrim.
I think you do talk some real shite on occasion. I know the shower of yes men and women who write here will not say so, vbut hey...if you write shite on the www, be prepared to be told so.
Have a nice day.
Crikey Anonymous... well you're Anonymous, and even though it's not my place to say, I don't believe your poorly formed (in my opinion) argument deserves oxygen.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous - I get what you saying alright. Even though the substance is bad, if it makes a person feel good it's their choice. Sure we smoke and drink. I just think for something to have such a dramatic effect on your body so quickly it cannot be good for you. Each to their own though.
ReplyDeleteNonny
Sure anonymous I might talk any amount of claptrap, but what of it, it's no skin off your nose now is it? Oops, it is, oh well. But you anecdotal story has set me right, oh yes.
ReplyDeleteI have a brand-new-thought-up-this-second-guaranteed-to-lose-you-weight-scheme - CONCRETRIM [TM].
ReplyDeleteThere are two 'plans' - The Mobile CONCRETRIM Plan [TM] and the Static CONCRETRIM Plan [TM].
I am currently looking for agents throughout the country. It may suit people already in the hardware or builders providers trade with a ready supply of sand and cement.
I will provide foot moulds in all sizes, for women and men, and diet completion mallets, hammers etc, in a variety of styles to celebrate the dieters' achievement.
I would buy it if they had a commercial with a muscle-bound Russian man with a giant mustache wearing an impossibly tight wrestling costume staring at the camera and shouting, "Celebrity Slim! Make you slim like celebrity!!!" then slapping his chest.
ReplyDeleteHell, I'd buy anything sold with that kind of advertising.
Wait wait, Grims, are we talking naked musclebound Russian?
ReplyDeleteConan, if you use them to advertise I can see no earthly reason your plan cannot work.
The starvation diets only make you plump up even bigger when your hunger overtakes the 'ol willpower.
ReplyDeleteStarving yourself is a pointless exercise no matter what size you are. It amuses me that saying so gets so many 'nonymous' danders up.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking the kind of late-19th century strong man in the circus, so he must be clothed with a little singlet of some sort. It's the only way my fantasy works.
ReplyDeleteAre we talking loincloth here?
ReplyDeleteSomething like this?
ReplyDeleteNo linky?
ReplyDeleteeh? clever embedded linky.
ReplyDeletehere's the outright one though
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Ah! Wot, no Viking Helmut?
ReplyDeleteJust a beard and some red underpants.
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er, a viking helmut obviously. And some ginger.
ReplyDeleteI’m following the Michael Phelps diet, and it’s huge struggle to stay within the allowed 12,000 daily calories, but I’m getting there. Fried egg sandwiches mmmm
ReplyDeleteHmm. I'm thinking more like this.
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ReplyDeletei just wanted to say in my ever quest to finding the quick fix answer to my problems i came across your blogg, and though it hasnt changed my opinion in trying to find something to help achive "normality" it has provided me with moments of rip roarig laughter which im sure has burnt off a few calories thankyou x
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteYou're most very welcome Mumtothemob.
ReplyDeleteAs said by someone else, this forum has provided me with some smiles however I will admit to being on the celebrity slim dietwith great results. I fully accept that this post will likely subject me to all manner of backlash from those who seriously oppose diets but I've never been hungry on the diet, feel tons better and am losing around 4 or 5 lbs a week. If it gets me to a healthy weight (as well as the exercise I'm doing) and I'm happy then surely it's a good thing
ReplyDeleteHelen
No back lash Helen, if it works for you go with it. If you've thought it through and you feel this is the way to go, I won't snark you for it.
ReplyDeleteBut nobody put on a lot of weight over night and poor eating habits are what leads to being fat in the first palce, eliminating almost all of your daily food intake of course will decrease your weight, but you can do that yourself, not hand over rather a large amount of money to the diet industry sharks who are only to happy to take money off people year after year after year.
Fatmammycat, I just love the fact that there is somewhere for the self righteous of the country to hang out and bitch at those less perfect than themselves (presume you are all perfect and thats why your here?) You said you dont do diets? would that be because you are perfect or you have reached a point in your life where you have failed at most of them and thought "fuck it! Ill wear a kimono and blog all day!"?
ReplyDeleteA programme such as celebrity slim can and will work for people who require a structure to their eating habits until they learn how to eat for their body and not their heads!
Dear monkey, this is my blog, and if you want to come here and bore the tits off me you should at least try reading first. Kimonos are nonos. I
ReplyDeleteI don't 'do diets' because I know what to eat and how to eat. I am also very active, which two seconds of reading might have infomed you.
Most of the people who do do diets ( yes I laughed when I typed that) are fat, despite their dieting. Diet companies know this, and make ENORMOUS sums of money knowing this. If a peson wants to educate themselves on how to eat and what to eat it is very easy to do so. Coming on here and whinging at me won't cut it.
If you think NOT eating or only eating one meal a day is sustainable and the way forward have at it. But when you're standing on your scales a year from now wondering how the weight 'just crept back on' feel free to come back here and whinge at me some more.
shebah and fatmammycat you are a pair of mouthy ignorant bitch fucks
ReplyDeleteI live in Romania in a 4th floor apartment (no lift), I have no car and regularly walk 2-4 miles each day, I eat only fresh food that I have prepared myself (pre-prepared TV dinners aren't so easily available here) which in the summer mainly is salad. In short, I am not a lazy slob sitting my fat arse on the sofa all day stuffing my greedy face with crisps and doughnuts. And yet I am 6 stones (around 85 pounds) overweight right now, in part due to a medical condition (PCOS), and in part, I admit, due to some very poor food and exercise choices in my teens and early twenties.
ReplyDeleteI joined weightwatchers three years ago while living in the UK. The food allowance I was given was so much more than I normally eat that I actually gained weight. On a conventional diet one could expect to lose maybe 2-3 pounds per week - that's a long, long haul, even assuming that the diet works for me, which up to this point nothing has.
The point of products like Lipotrim is to help people like me get a kickstart into dieting. For people who are dangerously obese, the damage to their body caused by their obesity must be weighed against any possible damage caused by losing weight that fast. I'm seriously considering trying Lipotrim when I move back to the UK for the sake of my health, and also because if I managed to lose the three stone in three months that is apparently possible, then I believe the rest of my weight loss would come easier - I would be more motivated as I see the pounds come off, and also exercise would be easier and more productive if I wasn't carrying so much fat around on me. I know that these programmes don't necessarily deal with the cause of overeating, but remember that the emotional effect of being obese can be a cause of overeating! And at least it's monitored by a pharmacist or doctor.
I'm not criticising you FMC for what you've said - that's your opinion - but some of the comments on here are the most insensitive crap I've read in a long time. Thanks for your understanding everyone - I hope people around you are more forgiving about the consequences of the bad decisions you've made in your lives than you are of others!
Oh, and btw I hope you notice I'm not 'anonymous'.
Well i did this "starving yourself" diet two months ago and lost fifteen kilos and low and behold KEPT IT OFF.so how about you stop trying to talk people out of it and get on with your fucking life, if people want to try and lose some weight doing celebrity slim, GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE AND LEAVE THEM BE.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I agree with some of the anon posters - there are a lot of very insensitive people posting here.
ReplyDeleteI started celebrity slim on monday, and although that isn't long I know it is making a difference, to my head and the way i percieve food.
I overeat because of depression, and I finally felt like I was getting to a place in my head where I could handle the life change of losing the 35kg i have gained in 3 years, but my diet wasn't following through. I have a very busy and physical job which leaves me exhausted each night, the idea of organising my food for the whole day in a matter of hours was defeating me to the point where I couldn't cope any longer. I was eating takeaways five times a week or more, and so many fresh fruit, veges, meat etc were thrown out of my fridge because I was too tired to use them.
Celebrity slim means the only meal I have to cook each day is dinner, I cook a nice meal of lean meat and heaps of veges - usually a stirfry, and my partner takes leftovers for his lunch while i have my two shakes - which ARE delicious after 2 days - the length of time you need to get over the taste of casinate - a protein they use in the shakes to make you feel fuller for longer. A godsend to someone like me who could eat and eat and eat and eat and never feel full.
I also have three snacks a day - recommended by the celebrity slim company. These are easy to prepare and having things like berries means I don't feel like a chocolate bar.
In summary, I'm not starving myself, I'm eating breakfast for the first time in years (drinking a shake on the way to work is easy) and I believe in this diet - it is truly a habit changer rather than a starvation diet.
The opinion of whingy anonymous twats does not interest me or bother me in the slighest.
ReplyDeleteHolly and Alina good luck with whatever path you chose, come back in a year's time and let me know where you're at in terms of weight loss. Very few people keep the weight off long term on these diets, perhaps you can buck the trend.
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ReplyDeleteMy my there are some real judgemental people on here, did it occur to anyone that some people have medical conditions contributing to weight gain, eg: thyroid, pcos??? Oh wait how can you, far too busy making fun out of people who eat too much, or so you think.
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