I don't like fruit.

I have always found fruit dull and uninteresting. And sticky. And I hate sticky. However, I have a new and ingenious way of ingesting the wretched stuff into my healthy person. Behold the Breville Total Fruit Juicer! This baby set me back 59 of my finest euros, down from €99 in Superquinn.
It is noisy and slightly terrifying to use, but the outcome is yummy and it pulps the shit out of oranges, leaving a smooth delicious and -MOST importantly -nutritious drink. Washing and removing the pulp after takes no more then two minutes.
Tomorrow I'm going to put in a banana, two kiwis and a handful of strawberries and smoosh them into a drink. No more will I have to eat the wretched things.
Huzzah. Huzzah I say.