Junk Mail

I'm going to put a sign up in the porch.
It will read simply No Junk Mail.
No more supermarket special offers, no more flyers for pizza chains, no more offers to trim my bush (snarf), no more offers to cobble lock my drive, no more offers to clean my house (as if, I can do that myself too, and sometimes I even do) No more offers to take away unwanted clothes, No more free newspapers I never read.
Just my trusty sign.
Naturally my trusty sign will probably make not the slightest difference to the oodles of unsolicited crap dumped into my home every week, but I can always hope.
I view the post with pretty much the same suspicion as I view my telephone ( I found it eventually by the way, unharmed and unscratched, nestling in some dead grass), a necessary evil, one I am happy to do without as often as possible. Seeing as the bulk of my post consists of bills, who the hell needs any more nonsense clogging up the mat.
Also Postie is a fine chap, he closes the gate after him and put the letter flap back down. Junk Mail folk do not. I have often gone out to find my poor old Gardinia shivering away to itself in a draft.
It's not like I ever read junk mail anyway, it goes directly into my green bin.
But annoyance pales into apple blossom white compared to my latest fear. I don't want to be sued when some clutz hurts themselves on my property, while delivering junk mail I don't want and shall not read.
Observe if you will.

"Paul O'Brien is being sued by a woman who says she trapped her hand in his letterbox while posting mail.

Joy Goodman, a cake decorator in her late 40s, is seeking damages for personal injury and loss of earnings.

She claims the top of her right index finger was severed by his letterbox and she can no longer do her intricate job.
Mr O'Brien, 44, from Morley, Leeds, vowed to fight the claim, branding it "a joke".

The self-employed engineer said: "When I received a solicitor's letter I thought someone was having a laugh.

"I actually told them they had sent it early - April Fool's Day is still six weeks away.

"I just cannot believe someone who came on to my property uninvited, to put junk mail through my door that I didn't want, can now sue me because she hurt herself.

The divorced father of two was out when Mrs Goodman claims she was hurt at the door of his four-bedroom detached new-build house.

She returned two days later and, finding him out, spoke to a neighbour and left contact details for him to get in touch with her.

The next he heard from her was when he received a letter from her solicitors saying she was claiming damages.

It read: "We understand that the circumstances of the accident are that our client was delivering a leaflet to your house when your letterbox snapped back on to her right index finger.

"As a result of this, our client suffered from personal injury and loss."

The letter did not state how much compensation she was pursuing, and asked only for his acknowledgement." (Mail)

See that? I can be sued if some eegit hurts their finger. YOU can be sued if some eegit comes onto your property uninvited to post junk mail.
So, I'm going to make a wee sign, stick it up and see how many folk utterly ignore it. Of course if they do ignore the sign I'm goig to use the dreaded phone to call up the source and give them what for.
Yup, eventually I see myself sitting on a swing chair out front with a shotgun resting across my lap, talking trash about the 'gubermint' and wondering about how much 'lectricity mah generators' can create. Surely enough to power the interweb. I will make my own high heels.
Being sued, I'm against it!