Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Periods/Lady Time /Fuck Wittery

"Fretting boyfriends need never worry about upsetting their girlfriend during that particular time of the month with the help of a new reminder system."
I've never liked the tired yet oft trotted out claptrapular notion that periods make women into monsters. I don't like women using it as an excuse for shitty behaviour ( indeed Jane from Druncondra, if you're throwing cups at your partner on a regualar basis I'd say you've got a lot more to worry about than periods) and I don't like men dismissing women's actions and reactions as 'hormonal'. If you got told off in work by your female boss it's probably not because she's 'on the blob' but because she thinks you're a useless article and she'd like you to do fucking better. If your wife is mad at you for something stop and have a little think, go for a poo with the newspaper and think, was there something you did/said that might have cause her brow to furrow? Oh right, that.
This kind of 'hur hur periods' bullshit reduces women to unthinking hormonobots, unwilling slaves to the fluctuations of their sex and it needs to be booted firmly in the hole whenever it raises its head.
A gal might very well get a bit hormonal every now and again-hell we are CHOCK FUCKING FULL of them, but that doesn't mean she's going to grow two heads and suddenly start foaming at the mouth and hunting down small animals to tear asunder. It doesn't mean our cognitive thinking abilities have packed up and gone to Tahiti for a few days. So why should a man suddenly start treating her with kid gloves?
So naturally this article from the Herald has me rolling my eyes in all sorts of directions.
Seriously, what a load of gooch fungus. Let's consider the fact that nearly all women over the age of 12 and under the age of 55 are having periods on a monthly basis, that's a lot of women. And yet we haven't gone on violent rampages and killing sprees just because the lining of our wombs is ripping free from our bodies in a bloody, breast aching, cramping, back hurting way. That we don't in fact turn into mindless thugs is testament to our fantastic good nature. Frankly I'd like to see a man go through the same shit every month- purely on a scientific quest- and see how he handles it.
Bullshit websites like PMSbuddy are tedious patronising hooey. Poor little things that we women are, so enslaved to our hormones that we cannot control our widdle feelings and emotions. And of course the poor men need to be told -via an alarm- that their partners or wife is a loose canon and best avoided. God forbid two adults might actually know how to interact with each other minus outside jocular alarmed help. God forbid a man might know his partner has a period and might be in some pain or discomfort. God forbid a women might not be mature enough to handle her own bodily fucking functions without resorting to mindless snarking victim.
Here's a reality check. Go outside and look around you. See all those women? You can be sure a lot of them are bleeding up a storm right now. Are they carrying petrol powered chainsaws? Sawn off shotguns? Blunderbusses? No? Then shove your alarm up your hole until you actually need one to remind you to get the fuck out of Dodge.
PSMbuddy- go fuck a duck. You ain't no buddy of mine. I am against you.

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