How to cook Brussels Sprouts.

Ah, the 20th of December, soon we will be swilling wine, licking turkey off our collars and trying to loosen the waistbands on whatever garment we wore, thinking there was some room in it. Some of us have already started on the eggnog. So with all the festive good will I can muster this last day of work I would like to provide readers with the yearly Fatcat recipe detailing how to cook Brussels Sprouts.


The correct way to cook Brussels Sprouts. Pay attention now, this is very important...

Heat large pan of water, copper bottom is always best, no matter what anyone tells you
add salt.
Add brussel sprouts when water is boiling.
Cook for ten minutes until sprouts soften slightly.
Mutter the words 'al dente' under your breath.
Turn off water.
Open bottle of chilled white wine, drink bottle of chilled white wine, watch film, have sex, whatever tickles your fancy.
Continue to ignore sprouts.
Drain water and throw sprouts away following day.

Absolutely foolproof.