The emperor's new clothes.
FASHION designers have revealed their latest marketing innovation for the world's skinny women - a size smaller than zero.
This summer, British clothes stores began stocking the waif size 4, following the rise of the equivalent size in the US, size 0. Now America is once again leading the way with a new size - 00 - for waists the circumference of a child's football.
Banana Republic, which is owned by Gap, is already advertising 00 clothes on its website.
Another company, Nicole Miller, is planning to introduce "sub-zero". It said customers were complaining they had to take in the existing size 0 clothes.
Alison Hodge, a spokeswoman for Nicole Miller, said: "We've introduced this new size for naturally petite women, not for models who have dieted themselves down to a dangerously low height-to-weight ratio."
But then I thought, really, why bother? Can you imagine..
'I'm a size zero.'
'I'm less than zero, I'm double zero.'
'Yeah, well I'm fucking invisible.'
'Oh my god, that's totally cool.'
Who are the dumb people who buy into this kind of shit? No really, who are they and how can they exist. I mean who tells 'em to breathe and blink and stuff?
I"m going out for a drink now.
Tomorrow, the paramour has informed me we are to attend some 'family' do. I am bereft. Isn't it bad enough I have my own family? Now I'm expected to mingle with his too. I tried the 'but they're your family.' And he used, 'yes and you're my finaceé' on me. Damn it.
I really am going out for a velly long drink. Have a good weekend y'all.