Pizza, turns out it's not lettuce, shock.
I'm against it!
I think people -by and large, there are always total idiots- know that smoking is not good for them, fireworks might blowup too soon and cost you a finger, shooting people in the back might result in you going to jail, driving drunk as a lord and too fast might get you killed and buying two packets of painkillers in the supermarket does not a sucidal lunatic make.
Therefore it was with great mocking, mildly outraged snorts I read the following this very early morning...
"Domino's Pizzas, the world's biggest pizza delivery chain, is advertising its products on Irish television with alcohol-style health warnings.'
Jesus Christ. Read on and weep.
"Homer Simpson's adage, "If it tastes good, it must be good for you", is being reconfigured by the firm, which is encouraging customers to eat pizza "in moderation".
The company, which sponsors 'The Simpsons' on Sky One, has begun an Irish TV campaign which also says that pizza should only be eaten as "part of a sensible, balanced diet"."
Really, part of? You don't say...
"The chain, which has 12 stores in Ireland (its Tallaght branch sells 200 pizzas an hour - more than at any of the 8,000 other outlets around the world), began running the adverts last weekend in a campaign that mirrors those being run by the drinks industry, which urges consumers to drink the products "responsibly".
Pizza contains significant quantities of salt and saturated fats, which critics say can contribute to obesity and encourage a junk-food diet, among children in particular.
However, Domino's is also running the ads after the 9pm watershed when many children are no longer watching.
A spokesman for the Broadcasting Commission of Ireland said the ads were in line with plans to stop fatty, sugary and salt-laden foods being aimed at children.
Earlier this year, health promotion bodies called for a total ban on the advertising of junk food before the 9pm watershed to tackle Ireland's soaring child obesity problem.
No ads for foods high in fat, sugar and salt should be permitted on TV before 9pm, the Irish Heart Foundation and National Heart Alliance told the Oireachtas Committee on Health yesterday.
The marketing of unhealthy foods to young children is "on a massive scale" and increases the risk of obesity, the organisations said.
In 2004, Domino's was criticised for introducing a double-decker pizza called Double Decadence in an ad campaign starring US actor Leslie Neilsen.
A medium-sized Double Decadence contains nearly 1,800 calories and more than 60 grammes of fat - almost the total recommended daily calorific intake of an average woman.
International studies show that junk food ads seriously undermine recommended diets, encouraging children to seek unhealthy products and to use "pester power" to get what they want."
Let us look at that last little line for a mo, shall we?
Since the dawn of time kids have asked for things, 'can I have a new puppy?' 'Can I stay out half an hour later?' 'If I do my room will you give me a lift to the stables? Whatcha mean no? It's ten miles away... bike? Bike? That's it! I'm adopted, aren't I?"
It was never given a snazzy tag line such as 'perster power', I thought it was just kids asking for stuff. And you know the great thing about kids asking for stuff?
YOU CAN SAY NO!
It's not the bloody kids watching ads that we should be worried about. It's stupid inefficent parents that cannot say 'no' to kids that we should be twitching our eyebrows over. Why can't we have adverts for delicious junk food before nine? Watershed? For food? Give me a god damn break!
'Mom, that looks yummy, can we have it for dinner?'
'No, we're having potato, gravy, peas and chicken.'
' Well I'm not eating that.'
'Okay, but it's all you're getting.'
We should run ads showing that! We should run those ads twenty four seven. Look parents, John is throwing a tantrum, he wants that, what are you going to do? ZZZZZZZZPPPP! That's right. JUST SAY NO! Kiddie's looking a bit chubby round the old chops? What can we do? Blame the advert? ZZZZZZZZPPPPPP! Well in, take responsibility, cut back on the calories and spend some time walking, playing football, biking, whatever it is that gets them moving. Did ya really think he was losing a ton of fat playing pro evolution soccer? Did ya? Slap. He wasn't.
The rise in obesity is nothing more than people eating too much ready made food and not being active enought to burn off the calories they are ingesting. It's not offensive to point this out. It's not rocket science either, it's not pollution causing obesity, it's not 'your glands' it's not junk food and it's not adverts. It is our inability to say no, either to ourselves or to our children.
Change the way you eat -personally I think diets are a load of crap and a blight on people's bank accounts- and exercise more. Or don't, stay chubby, get larger.
It's your choice, that's democracy for ya.