Monday, December 04, 2006

Big fat...

A few weeks ago a police chief America was fired for suggesting his officers should shape up, I remember reading about it at the time and doing a spot of head shaking. Ridiculous.
I was reminded of that story yesterday. As I wandered out of a book shop I was astounded to see a young lad tear past me and some considerable time later, a ban garda, came huffing down the street in search of him. She went past me, then stopped. She took of her hap, wiped her forehead, spoke into her radio and then carried on down the street-slowly- looking for her quarry, who at that stage was probably getting a cup of hot tea and some buttery toast from his ma.
Fat gardai?
At the risk of sounding non PC here, surely being a garda is one of those jobs that demands a person be physically fit. You need to be alert to the possibility of danger, you need to be able to chase suspects, you need to be able to subdue those who might not want to be subdued. You need to dal with drubnk possibly aggressive people. So what the hell is the point of a short overweight officer who gets winded easily. Even if this lady had caught the suspect I doubt she was much of a match for him.
Certain jobs demand physical excellence and I think being a Garda is one of them. If I am an accountant in a firm I don't need to be able to lift anything heavier than a calculater. But a fireman-for example- should be able to lift an unconscious body and carry it out of danger.
Gardai must initially pass a physical, but who keeps an eye of the waistlines afterwards and is this acceptable?


Blogger SheBah said...

All the best American cop shows have a fat cop as the partner, he sits eating pizzas and burgers in the cop car. If the ban garda had caught him, she could have sat on him, no judo necessary!

10:58 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Unless he lay down and waited for her there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell she was going to catch him. Sheeet, old ldadies could run faster. It was a really sad state and as a woman I swear I hung my head.

11:03 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I saw a fat security guard chasing a young mink who had stolen his walkie-talkie on Buchanan Street in Glasgow a couple of weeks ago. He was yelling "Stop! Thief!" just like they do in the fillums.

11:37 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Snarf, can you imagine! 'Oh sure officer, I'll just wait right here until you catch up with me.'

12:32 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

While giving chase they have to be able to roll across the bonnets of cars as well, don't they? This should be introduced as a standard fitness test at the Templemore training centre. And, if we demand it of the Garda, surely the Minister (Mickey Mac... hee hee hee) should show a good example and be able to do it too? Willie O'Dea would be up for it!

1:25 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shoplifting minks... is there any better reason to make the little cunts into coats?

That'd certainly put off the rest of them.

"Hey, I'm going to go into this shop and shoplift me a brand new jack- ...MOMMY!"

1:41 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

ahah, rolling over bonnets. I would have paid good money to see Willie do that. Or McDowell.
Seeing as they don't have guns to shoot fleeing folk I think new recruits should be taught to use boomerangs. That wouls be awesome, yesterday's pudgy bluebottle could have whipped it off her belt and zapped him one, Xena like.

1:42 p.m.  
Blogger P1P said...

I agree. I have seen pudgy security guards who couldn't catch a cold. Horses for courses.

1:52 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Fmc, YES! Brilliance! Zena of the Garda!!

I want her on my TV, now! Stat! Not for her the round-up of recovered stolen property... no, no... she'd come into studio dragging the skobes by the hair on their head. She'd toss them at the feet of the presenters, causing them to flush with excitement.

Oh Zena, they'd gush, of what crime is this citizen suspected?

I caught him allegedly in posession of lands on which Ragwort is allegedly growing, she'd growl.

Oh, well done you, they'd breathily respond, as the cynical, seen-it-all crew burst into a round of 'spontaneous' applause!

2:18 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Doh! Zena = Xena!!

2:21 p.m.  

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