Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Some minor quirks and foibles.

Despite my general bon homie and splendid love of life there are a few things that bother me. I'm sure everyone has little things they do that others find odd or not as the case might be.
For example- I don't like my feet covered when I sleep. I just don't. Even on the coldest night of the year they get too hot. Pretty much the same goes for gloves, I can wear them for about five minutes then my hands get too hot.

I don't like my food mixed up on a plate. I like it in separate piles ( not touching) which I will then eat least favourite first. (actually this could be a bit over the top, even with mixed vegatables I always eat the carrots first, then the brocceli, and so on)

I don't kill or like other people killing spiders. Just catch them in a glass and put them out.

I don't like repeating myself AT ALL. (if you didn't hear me the first time just guess what I said, you're probably right anyway)

I don't like to be late. I don't like other people to be late. If we say we're meeting at five, I will be there at five to five, what I won't be is wandering along at ten past five and saying things like 'See! If you had a mobile I could have called you and told you I was running late!' This is what I call 'The Blame'. You are late but it is my fault because I don't have a phone. Right.

I don't like talking on the phone-or answering the phone, or having a phone. I could very cheerfully live without one. I don't own a mobile and this is increasingly becoming something of a joke in Ireland. Why this should be met with such incredulity is beyond me.

I don't like eye boogers.

I don't like it when people stretch and loads of cracks and fizzy noises emanate like ooze from their bodies, super hella vile.
Ditto people who crack their knuckles- they should be made go live on an island somewhere.

I don't like talking to people who have phlegm in their throats and need to clear it, but don't and carry on talking in a weird voice. Just stop and go 'harrrrummmpphh harruun' and then carry on speaking normally! Don't just keep talking as though you're underwater. Bleeee.

And so on, you get the picture. Just your average set of quirks that most of us have.
Well today, on this the most 'romantic' day of the all I wish to add another.

I do not like to find underpants in the bathroom sink.
It's going on the list. Maybe not at the top, but it's up there.

Underpants being left in sinks! I'm totally against it!!

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Anonymous Jimmy Page's Trousers said...

Nooooo! After much lurking agreement, and some explicit agreement, to find we disagree on such important points...

Feet must be covered. The duvet must be tucked under feet to prevent sneaky draughts making their way in to chill my tootsies.

While I don't have anything personal against spiders, they are obviously far too creepy and much too crawly to attempt manhandling into a glass. Up the hoover they go, I'm afraid.

I'm with you on the rest though. Especially the eye boogers.

10:13 a.m.  
Blogger Kav said...

I'm against baths. After the enormous strain of physical labour last week, I had a bath. I was in it for less than ten minutes before I got all tetchy and claustrophobic and had to go and have a shower.

10:16 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Tucked in? Never! Talk about claustraphobia.
You're right Kav, baths are an infernal pain in the gee, I used to like them years ago, but it is impossible to wash your hair and your hands go all wrinkly-bleeee.

10:36 a.m.  
Anonymous Sinead said...

I'm with you on spiders, lateness and knuckle cracking.
My weird peeve is that I hate people who eat the froth off their cappucinos with a spoon. It's drink goddamit, not a dessert.

Ditto non-dippy eggs, ie if I get a B&B fry, a poached egg in a lovely brunch or my boiled egg is hard, I tend to emit a Marge Simpson style "grrr". It drives me mad. And my soldiers go to waste.

Am the opposite with feet, if they're uncovered, mine get cold due to dubious circulation.

As for baths, I love them. Great for the ol' back in my case, but not too hot or you get out feeling like you're on crack or something.

11:14 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Runny...runny...RUNNY EGGS?!
Arf ju mad? I vood never eat such an... abomination ahahaha.

11:57 a.m.  
Anonymous Sinéad said...

Runny eggs are the only way!
Well, not at the moment. One of the many things you're not allowed when you're knocked up. :)

12:22 p.m.  
Anonymous Me said...

Feet are vile - and should be covered at all times. There is an ad for some fungus thing that I just have to switch channel when it appears ... ick! And (I think it may be the same ad) there is one where they flex the toes one by one ... eugh!

Also knuckle cracking ... shiver. And large gollop swallowing nose snorting. And gollop expelling nose blows - go to the toilet and do it, don't do it beside me!

I'm afraid I don't even trust the hoover for spiders: they could get out - an attack you in revenge (creatures of satan that they are).

How odd on your underpants foible: my bro stayed for a few days, I went into the bathroom yesterday morn, and found his ON TOP OF THE TOWEL RAIL! And his response: "oh, sorry, I forgot I wasn't at home" - eh? Like that makes it any better?!

And eggs: runny. Must be runny and dipable. There's only a window of a few seconds to get the balance between cooked white and still runny yellow right. It's like bananas that way.

12:37 p.m.  
Blogger The Swearing Lady said...

I don't like talking to people who have phlegm in their throats and need to clear it, but don't and carry on talking in a weird voice.

It's like EVERYTHING in the Oirish Bog O'Sphere today is agreeing with me! I'm so happy!

1:13 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Agreed, feet must be free to lose heat.
Eggs must be yolk soft but white hard.
Spiders must be scooped and ejected.
Rare baths are enjoyable but wrinkly saturated skin is creepy.
One's own eye boogers are interesting, but others' are repulsive.
Knuckle cracking makes me say rheumatoid arthritis very quickly.
Underpants in the sink? Hmm, you just moved in and discovered this pervy habit?

What about people who encroach on your space and spit driplets while they talk at you...AAARGHHHHH

1:15 p.m.  
Anonymous Me said...

Or even (non spitting) folk who invade your personal space ... and you find yourself moving backwards, until there is nowhere left to go, and you then realise that you are moving your upper body back to get away, eugh!

And knife lickers. And yoghurt left on a work-desk all day and then eaten - when warm, ick ick ick!

And (generally older) arm clasping women, who must sense that you are trying to get away from the conversation, and claw firmly at your arm.

1:29 p.m.  
Anonymous Me said...

Shop assistants who insist on chattering to each other, and ignoring you, when you are clearly waiting to pay.

Automated phone things where you have to speak your choice - and they can never 'hear' you (because you are in work, and trying not to sound like an arse).

Inappropriate use of the word 'like' - except with a Cork accent.

Spar shop stock where the item stocked nearest to the front goes off tomorrow.

Reconstitued potato 'fries'.

Pubs that dump your change in a wet spot on the bar.

1:44 p.m.  
Anonymous Me said...

Coffee delivered at the same as dessert.

'Two sitting' dinners at 7 or 9:30.

Places that don't take bookings.

"Cheer up love, it might never happen".

Family gatherings, where distant rellies do the "so, where's your boyfriend/are you not married yet/have you not bought a house yet/don't you want children" thing. Sheesh.

Seems like I've way too many quirks and foibles. And am on a day off today and can post 'em instead of just reading late at night.

1:57 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Sweet Jesus Me- if it wasn't for that runny egg habit I'd let you move in now. But for the yolks we could have lived like Miss Havishham, decrying the 'fucking state of it' while moving away from the folk that might talk too near to us.

3:32 p.m.  
Blogger KnackeredKaz said...

OLD WOMEN WHO CLUTCH YOUR ARM!!!!!!! I didn't realise until right now that I hate that as well!!

Get off me old person, you smell of cabbage and you have watery eyes. Constantly! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

3:53 p.m.  
Anonymous MacDara in the Leb said...

All underpants or just his. maybe he was hand washinh them ?

I hve cold Feet , the wife has warm feet the only answer is an eneven duvet. we invented one for those nights when otherwise an argument would be had.

4:03 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I don't mind watery eyes, once they are booger free.
Just his Mac hawtness. A real present to be sure. He said he just flung them off when he got into the shower this morning and forgot all about them. It's funny that his memory was not so slip shod before we shasta-macnastied up together.
I'm worried about what the hell I'll discover next. Maybe some kind of sock fetish or undisclosed 'Sunday afternoon is football time' rule.

4:16 p.m.  
Anonymous Me said...

FMC, might I refer you to The Brother's previously unknown (before he lived with his girlfriend) horrible habits?. Not sure we could ever live together, given the genetic loo-leaving-underwear thing. At least you aren't related to yours!

But your hard egg thing: how could an otherwise clearly sensible and high heel loving person think so? I would almost break up with someone for less! As my lil bro commented (before I spied his discarded undies on the towelrail!): "MMmmm, those eggs are just yum" and "how did we both learn to cook vegetables and eggs away from Walton Mountain? ... desperation?!".

Otherwise, I'd clearly move in. How could you with those eggs though? Still upset. May have to retract that vote!

7:17 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I hate egg yolk in all its foul guises Even when I fry eggs, I nuke the yolk, then cut carefully around it and feed it to the bigger of the cats-whose cholesterol must be through the roof at this stage.
The only time I can abide it is in scrambled eggs, and even then I smother it in ketchup. But runny semi-boiled eggs are the devil's stinking smegma and no one, not even vote bearing blog folk will ever get me to recant!

7:25 p.m.  
Anonymous Me said...

Oh no! Nuked eggs? Inappropriate use of ketchup? I'm going to have to re-think things FMC blog-ish. Next thing you'll be lauding brown sauce. (Although Worchestire on toasted cheese is ok, if not yum. And Branston pickle on beef/lamb and cheese.)

Tell me that heels and cocktails are still in!

7:35 p.m.  
Anonymous Me said...

Re mixed food (in general, with you: can't stand a fork full of 'mixed' dinner, if it is a Mammy dinner): what do you do about pasta/rice/noodles with stuff? Surely they need mixed-ness???

7:42 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I don't get too freaked over that, although I do admit I like my rice as a moat and not fully smooshed around. I like pasta with real tomato sauce, red chillies and about an inch of parmesan cheese grated over it. Divine.

I LOVE brown sauce sambos, with Wilson's handmade sausages and lashing of white pepper. Or super crispy bacon on thick white doorstep bread with mustard and pepper.
MMMMMMBranston velly nice on Mature Red Leicester cheese...mmmm.
Right ho, I'm going out for dinner-it being the day it is. Thank God for this conversation, now I'm blooming starving, and there better not be any of this 'crushed' potato bollocks at this restaurant. Crushed, I mean come on, just mash it, with real butter and full fat milk if you please. Let me worry about my arteries.
Laters X
(I will be wearing very high heels indeed and having a cocktail or two)

7:55 p.m.  
Anonymous Me said...

I do like the pasta/rice/noodles things with stuff in the middle myself. Not mixed on serving. Although I do wind a fork through the lot on eating. Real sauces are IT though, yum. And lots of proper parmasan. Tabasco yum too. Has to be real sauce though. Went to an acquaintance's gaff recently, and got jar stuff - and not even adorned, was not impressed!

I get proper sausages pour le weekend, and look forward to them from Thu. Delish. Only recently became a fan of the rindy bacon bit - only when super crispy, of course! Try Mongomery cheddar. Or Red Leceister. YUM. Am partial to Ballymaloe relish too. Thankfully dinner in 20 mins!!! Crushed potato me arse. I laughed heartily at that post.

Mai tai for me. MMMMMMmmmmmm.

8:13 p.m.  
Blogger Fat Sparrow said...

I'm with you except for the spiders. That's why men were invented; to lift heavy things and kill bugs. I used to vacuum up the creepy crawlies, but then we got one of those bagless vacuums. I'm afraid to vacuum up the buggers now.

And undies in the sink aren't so bad, relatively speaking. Clinton jizzed in th sink, you know. I'll take undies, any day.

10:10 a.m.  
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