Like I say, I'm not too bothered.
On the other hand I am bothered by lardy-arsed cops.
Yesterday I made my way to a cheese and wine thingie at a dear friend's home. I was heading down the canal and due to some roadworks I had to make a minor change to my route which took me through the leafy gorgeousness that is Dartmouth Square. Velly pleasant it was too, windows open, cats lounging in the warm evening air, a bottle of perfectly chilled wine in my backpack...delightful.
I was almost at the Lesson street church when URHRHHRHRHHRHRHRHHRHRH, a bloomin' squad car screeched to a halt in front of me and out popped Police chief Wigam.
Now naturally my first thoughts were, 'I'm innocent I swear. I did take her watch but I was young and it got broken in a basketball game. Tell my mother I"m sorry.' But my mild panic abated when PCW thundered past me, clutching his walkie talkie to his anti-stab vest, and lumbered up the road at the speed of snow.
Now as he huffed and puffed his way along a second man came around the church and roared. 'He went the other way.'
PCW waved breathlessly and took off at a crawl up Lesson street towards the bridge. I-ambling along behind him- almost caught up to him at the lights.
He turned and came back down the street towards me , just as a blonde woman wearing a sun dress and dirty white socks came out of one of the buildings.
'DID YA GET HIM?' quoth she.
PCW-quite out of breath from his 40 metre trundle- squints at her. ' 'Who are you now?"
Ye Fucking thick,' quoth she most unamused, 'I'm the one he done it to.'
And at this point I passed them and missed out on any more of their delightful conversation and what exactly the missing suspect might have 'done'.
But see here, even if the suspect had been standing across he road eating a bag of chips PCW wouldn't have caught him, not unless the suspect was slower than a one legged dog. And that's ridiculous.
But not as ridiculous as having unfit Gardai. The job of the Gardai is to protect us tax paying citizens from miscreants and reprobates. To protect us Gardai should be able to do one of two things in my view, catch and subdue suspects. Now I have no doubt that PCW could have subdued a suspect merely by sitting on him, but unless said suspect lay down voluntarily, no dice.
Certain jobs require a certain physique. Firemen need to be strong enough to drag or carry an unconscious person from a building and lug hoses around, and if my semi naked char-idee calendar is anything to go by they seem to be hitting the weights room regularly, (phoawoor Fireman July).
So what of the Gardai? Isn't there a physical? Don't they have to maintain a level of fitness?