Thursday, August 02, 2007

Work. A vile, but necessary evil.

Having read Manuel's post about how he deals-quite admirably-with the people who frequent his restaurant, I am filled with a mild awe. I don't now how he does it. I don't know how anyone does it-work with people that is. I couldn't do it. I'd get fired. Probably very rapidly indeed. Or arrested. Hummm, yes that seems more likely.
How do people do it? It can't just be me? Can it? Have any of you just upped and left a job because you simply couldn't carry on without throttling someone or pitching them out a third floor window? I once vomited going to work in a place I hated, not just once actually. And in another I left mid way through my third day having told my short lived boss to shove his job up his rancid hole, then I walked two miles home and went to bed for the day.

I am self employed, and -apart for the normal fear of failure that comes with self-employment - I rather like my job for great tracts of the year. So bearing that in mind I feel rather churlish about bitching, churlish but not churlish enough to not go right ahead and bitch. Once or twice a year I have got to put on my petticoats and best hat and go out and drum up more business. I am forced to bridle up and rein in my firm belief that most people are idiots and I don't like talking to them, or worse, have them talking AT me. I must shut my yap, nod a lot and deal with agencies and all manner of folk, who are fickle and highly strung and give me the heaving jeebies.

I am further pitched in to deep gloom by the knowledge that this month is one of those times.

My appointment book is quite full over the next few weeks, full of people I must speak with in a work capacity. Because I don't do this sort of thing very often, indeed I can go months without ever having to dress up, tone down, cease eye rolling, and stop snorting in mild amusement, I don't expect any of you to have an sympathy. Indeed I am not looking for any. Just grumbling.

I could never do PR, I could never work in the service industry. If I was a guard I would be Captain Dudley Smith and I would wear black gloves, a lot.
Mornings like this, when the sun don't shine and the very first email of the day is a frothy two lines that already has the bubbles of misanthropic bile popping with ease are the very worst.
And I am gloomy. I suspect this is day is going to be full of pointless frothy emails. Emails I must answer with a degree of civility. And worse than anything, it appears I must spend time on the PHONE today. And I hate phones. Then I must have a meeting this afternoon, and I hate meetings.
So can I just say, to all of you who work with folk on a daily basis, who deal with the public, who must have meetings, share space and offices and answer phones and tolerate managers and idiotic bosses and lazy staff and people who refuse to get back to you when they say the will thus causing you to yell at your entirely blameless dApple computer, can I just say, I, Fatmammycat, salute you all.

Working with other folk, I"m so AGAINST IT I could weep!



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahhh, it seems you are besieged by two evils, the holiday blues coupled with the least favoured part of your job, sadly this comes to us all. If I was in your position and didn’t have a small queue of people shuffling their feet impatiently at the foot of my desk, I would put some good music on, at every opportunity I’d blast it all over the house and sing at the top of my voice.

10:14 a.m.  
Anonymous AM in Belgium said...

Awww, diddums.
The good thing about sitting in an office - for me right now is that there are people to talk to.

On the days when I work from home, I'm quite demented by 3pm having not had any other human contact.

The work though - that's a whole 'nother thing altogether.

Glad to see you're back and enjoyed sunny Spain.

10:15 a.m.  
Blogger Betty the Sheep said...

It's good to let it out once in a while. I work with people everyday and my housemates get to hear about it in the evening. Of course they work with people too so I get to hear about that so it's an equal kind of arrangement. No matter how good your work situation is there is always one person that wrecks your head above all others!

10:17 a.m.  
Blogger PI said...

Once you accept the fact that the general public are an absolute shower it gets easier.

10:19 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Pat, you're entirely right, as usual.
I am listening to music as it turns out, I'm listening to Ray laMontagne. I'm not singing along, but I am bobbling my head in a David Gray style-ie. I am also in pyjamas, so I guess I shouldn't complain. But fuckit, I will.
Am, you're nuts, working from home rocks.
Oh Betty, house mates too?

On an different note, I used to worked in close quarters with a woman who chewed gum for eight hours a day. I suppose I should be thanking my lucky stars I only have to do this sort of crap once or twice a year. ( I should be, but I'm not)

10:46 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I absolutely despise people that do that, I hate chewing gum anyway but I particularly hate it when you are trying to have a conversation with someone. I was at a meeting yesterday afternoon, sitting right across from some gimp doing it continually. At the very least they could close their mouths, it is the height of bad manners plus it makes me want to vomit.

11:00 a.m.  
Blogger finn said...

phones themselves are vile. the very idea that someone can ring me with the expectation i will drop everything i'm doing to be at their beck & call is wrong wrong wrong.

i hope your Performing Monkey day goes well.

12:20 p.m.  
Anonymous Pinkie said...

I am a tour guide. Without people I have no job. GOD I hate people! I love my job though -- I love yapping on about history and making people see MY point of view but really, most people are idiots.
The stories I could tell -- especially about kids from Inch-fecking-core!

12:21 p.m.  
Blogger Rusticissimus maximus said...

Hmmm, I can empathise FMC. Even though I am WELL out of the public sphere at this stage people will still be the death of me yet I tell ya.

Luckily though I only deal with the odd librarian and books these days, which don't usually talk back to you. When they do however, I know I'm in trouble and need a break.

12:46 p.m.  
Blogger Fat Sparrow said...

People are massive cunts. End of.

I worked in sales and service for a defense subcontractor for years, and was one of the lone women in the industry. It was hell. Doing conventions was awful, and doing sales calls was worse, as I'm in Southern California, so I would easily be driving 200 to 300 miles a day to cover customers and potential customers. Having to drink men under the table at conventions and then fend them off at your hotel door and still be able to get the contract is not a job that I would recommend to anyone.

And I am so happy that I no longer have to read industry rags and keep up with all that boring crap and attend engineering society meetings to represent my company. Jesus, what a fucking bore.

Although the sales commissions on the juicy contracts was really, really nice. Damn.

1:04 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

I haven't worked outside my home office for 3 years and it's getting pretty damn old. I told Mr. M that I'm getting a job in the autumn. Bookstore maybe.

1:55 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

FMC, I think I spy a photo you want over at Go Fug Yourself.

2:10 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

I spent YEARS in retail. And now, thanks to that experience, I'm with you, Cat. People are unbelievable cunts, and if I hadn't gotten out a few weeks before I turned 30, I'd have assaulted someone.

I still have to work with people, but I can shut my office door when I'm feeling anti-social, and most people know I prefer e-mail to the telephone, so at least that's a plus.

But the year or two I was self-employed and worked at home? BLISS. If the work hadn't been so sporadic, and health insurance so expensive, I'd still be doing it.

2:25 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Urgh, this is a real monkey fucking see, monkey fucking do sort of day and if I get through it without hitting the sauce I'll be doing rather well.
Medbh, I just saw that. Astounding.
Is it wrong of me that I am somewhat heartened to read that you lot hate folk and work stuff too? Surely not, misery loves company.

3:45 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

I know the sort of folk you mean, you have my every sympathy. Hustling for work in that small pond must be like groping for pearls in a barrel of snot.

4:13 p.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

Conan, poetry :)

I'm with you on this FMC, I've been self-employed for the past 6 months and it's really growing on me. It's perfect for now. I don't miss all the inevitable crap that comes with office work..

4:33 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

That, Conan, is a most apt way of putting it.
You know what fucks me off the most? Poor communication. You agree a time to speak to someone and then they don't call you, you agree a time to meet and they turn up late, you send an email or you break your balls getting something to them that they consider 'vital' and what happens, nada nothing fucking zip, not even a quick note to say, 'got that, I'll get back to you on it.'
Apparently this sort of thing is rampant. How the hell do people not lose their reason.
Oh now look Zazoo, my phone is ringing again.

4:37 p.m.  
Blogger The Hangar Queen said...

Fucking people...You're dead right.We as a species are well on the way to dumbing ourselves to extinction.
Having said that if a "customer" gets lippy at my job we tend to handcuff them and throw them down a flight of stairs a few times.

Oh,and the ever popular Wood Shampoo too.

5:40 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I like your style Devin. Succinct and to the point.

7:32 p.m.  
Anonymous Babs said...

I have done all that, vomited before work, cried on the way home, ran out on not one, bt two jobs after three & four days, the first was because my "co workers" were openly coke heads and I wasn't dealing with that (it was in a restaurant) and the other was because my boss was a complete wanker and I instantly hated him, I am surprised it even lasted that short time, its fucking horrible!! Now I work in sales which means I take / make calls all day long and have to go and have meetings with people, I hate it, but I love the commission cheques at the end of every month, I need the cash to get me a deposit for my own house you see, so I don't have to live with housemates who wreck my brain constantly, by basically being really messy (really do normal people drop stuff on the floor and not pick it up, or leave dishes there for four days and then when you finally give in and do them, they say "oh I was just going to do that" AAAAAAGH) so yeah, working with people is shit, but if it gets me out of this shit, then I will be happy and hopefully retire aged 25!!

12:19 a.m.  
Blogger Manuel said...

"I am filled with a mild awe"

Seems a reasonable response. You should see me in shorts, that will take your breathe away, and not in a good way.

I'd like to be a freelance waiter, sort of like a mercenary waiter for hire chap...

12:59 a.m.  
Blogger evision said...

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And this blog is really doing great for me.And got extra income from my home.

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10:02 a.m.  
Blogger evision said...

I have gone through this blog.I found it very interesting and helpful.Now a days I am doing my work from my home only.
And this blog is really doing great for me.And got extra income from my home.

work from home

10:27 a.m.  

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