Chewing gum tax-Government overlords! And I hate the stuff.
People who try jumps queues and then pretend they didn't see the line- idiot sneaks.
hairdressers-ill on a monday? Fake! NO I don't want Jacinta to do it, Jacinta hasn't even brushed her own hair today.
People who don't wipe their sweat off the bench when finished- gross.
Car tax- expensive
I had it all at my fingertips, I even rolled my neck, ready launch my firey attack, I had typed...'Far be it from me to be guilty of omniscience, but...' Then my fingers froze and a wide beaming grin spread across my chops.
You see Chumliewarners. I cannot do it. I cannot be angry today. Oh the weather outside is frightful, but quite frankly my dears, I don't give a damn.
And why would this be?
Why it's because I am on holiday. Well, technically I'm not on holiday yet. I won't be traveling until tomorrow. And then chumlies, I will begin a whole week where I will eat my body weight in fresh seafood, partake of plentiful rum, and toast myself brown under a warm Spanish sun.
Bearing all this in mind, I will be spending the day running about like a blue arsed fly today, but it is a small price to pay for this feeling of bliss.
Now, I only I could stuff the smaller of the cats into his travel box without losing all the skin I value...