Monday, January 21, 2008

Save the ginger!





Huzzah! It has taken 21 days, but finally I have fulfilled another of my resolutions. 7:30, chumlies, 7:30 I was up and squinting at the coffee press. That exactly half an hour before eight. Before!
Oh I know there are some of you sitting in work since eight going, 'so what? I do that everyday.' But to you I say ' all right, keep your knickers on. I don't.' ( Yesterday I didn't even wake up until 11:55. Admittedly I may have been in a mild coma, but still)
Now, on to matter most grave and serious.
Did you know that to be a ginger you must have a recessive gene? Did you? And that gingerism is under threat? I read that this morning (early) and almost Ashley Cole-ed (ran off the road) in shock and deep terror.

"The first online dating service exclusively for people with ginger hair has been launched in an attempt to save their fiery locks.

Redhedd.com could prove vital to the future of gingers, who make up about two per cent of the world's population.

Celebrities including Hollywood star Nicole Kidman and DJ Chris Evans keep ginger in the spotlight.

But, because they have a recessive gene, some fear it could die out within 100 years.

'The mission is to save redheads,' said website founder Steve Warrington.

'To do this we have to mingle them to concentrate the two genes that make red hair,' he added.

The site features polls and quizzes created by red-headed users and blogs on the day-to-day lives of gingers around the world.

Users can also buy mugs and T-shirts proclaiming the joy of being ginger. The US site could be a hit in Scotland, where about 13 per cent of the population – the highest proportion in the world – have ginger hair.

Charles Kennedy, the former Liberal Democrat leader who also sports a crop of red hair, said: 'The fightback starts here.

'Against the more gloomy predictions, I have taken encouragement from the fact that, although I am married to a dark-haired woman, my two-year-old son is defiantly red-headed.'

Could you imagine a world with no ginger? Would it even be worth living at all? No carrot-top? No Nicole Kidman, no Lohan, no Chris Evans, no doc Morris from ER, no Shaun White, no me.

What? I never told you I was a ginger? Well I was. I was ginger right up until three, then fate decided I had enough problems with having the mother I had and dimpled knees, so it changed my hair to a auburn, then a russet and now it is...well a darkish brown with a lot of red through it, lighter towards the end. Mongrel hair. Odd coloured according to the paramour, who can hardly talk with that beard of his. (Also I had straight hair when I was young, now it is not straight, not even a bit)
One of the most beautiful girls I ever met had bright red hair, ringlets and ringlets of bright red hair. I coveted it. I'd probably have cheerfully scalped her had it been legal to go about scalping folk. Of course she also had alabaster skin and amazing blue eyes.
The bitch.
So huzzah I say, thank god somebody has set up a website to save the ginger. I mean fuck it, they have breeding programmes for pandas don't they, the lazy leaf eating shits. Oooh, don't let the pandas die out. yeah right, screw pandas, if they're too lazy to mate that's their hard luck. We should be setting up- breeding programmes for gingers, especially curly gingers.

Also, did you know that this is supposed to be the most depressive day of the year? Debts, failed resolutions, cold weather, no christmas cheer left, doom gloom.
Pah! Poppycock. It's Monday, the start of a week, the beginning, a clean slate. Who could find that depressing?
I might go for a run. I might have toast. Maybe I'll juice something. I don't know what I might do. It's so early. So very early. But I won't be gloomy, oh no. For what? What good does that ever do? It's a new day, a new dawn (really). Had I a horse I might go galloping over the horizon, with a gilded lasso, hunting nervy red heads. But only for scientific purposes you understand.

Labels:

81 Comments:

Blogger Rosie said...

ooooh.

i'm signing up. borderline ginger like yourself, hopefully there's no strand test before they admit you to the club.

9:43 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Hah, we'll just have to show our baby pictures. I GLOW in mine.

9:51 a.m.  
Blogger Dr. James McInerney said...

I am of the theory that red hair was the ancestral kind of hair and if you look around the world, you see redhaired people along the fringes of most continents, all along the eastern Atlantic, up into scandanavia and even in India. I reckon that these redhaired people came from common stock and originated in Ireland or Scotland, where they are in high frequency still. They were a sea-going bunch who colonised the world far and wide. The womenfolk loved them when they arrived on their boats (which I imagine were pretty pimped-up), so they ravaged the women, who were more than willing to be ravaged by such fine examples of manhood and they killed the surly and uncharismatic local men. This made the treacherous darkhaired men fight back with jealous rage against these heroic, dashing and courageous gingers. Using what I imagine were probably dirty tactics, these darkhaired men repelled the gingeros (as I think they were probably called) by sheer numbers and not at all by using skill,cunning or intelligence. However, the seed of the gingeros seed was left behind in the bellies of these needy womenfolk. This meant that the gingeros had to venture further, colonise the world and leave a legacy of beauty that is still in evidence today on the beautiful face of the Australian Film and TV star, Nicole Kidman. Chris Evans was a mistake.

12:43 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I believe Docky2, that waht you have described is as close an accurate history as anyone would ever need to hear. Those filthy dark haired non ravagers dont even deserve a footnote in this adventure. I suspect Gingeros have always been persecuted due in not small part to their sexual prowess and their ability to appear both dramatic and cute and puzzled at the same time. A cunning facade to be sure.
Left handed Gingeroes were highly prized by the Celts before the evil of Rome descended on our shores, with their roads and what not. Left handed highy-freckled Gingeros all the more so.

1:07 p.m.  
Anonymous nonny said...

Emm my little mofo bro had red hair, almost brown now but when he was small it was orange. Oh how we used to abuse him with tales of how Mam and Dad had found him down the end of the garden under in between the carrots and that why he has carrot hair but being decidedly bigger than me he used to just beat the shit out of me. A lot of people just associate red hair with minginicity but not me for I would love a little rosy baby with red hair and pudgy cheeks.

1:19 p.m.  
Blogger gimme a minute said...

It seems profoundly wrong to me that these people are messing about with evolution.

It's a recessive gene for a reason.

I should point out that like you Fmc, I was fire engine red until I was three and a half.

I'm a self-hating gingerman.

1:40 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Nonny, you know that old saying about being careful what you wish for? Ignore it.
A self hating ginger, the very worst kind Gimmie, but only because that shame has been forced upon you by years of dark-locked-oppressors (DLOs) Throw off the shackles, embrace your inner ginger. Fan the flames of gingerosity!! VIVA LA GINGER!!!!

1:48 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

Er, how does Nicole Kidman keep gingers in the spotlight? She burned off every freckle and dyed her hair. She's the most self-hating ginger out there. And she sold her body and soul for money and fame.

2:37 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Lest we forget the maurauding, crusading northern Europeans in the medieval era, leaving gingers all over Spain, Palestine, Israel...

Lots of ginger in my family - we're Scots/Irish on my mother's side. In a family of blue-eyed blonds, one of my brothers and I have the fair, freckly complexions and he was a deep, rich auburn until he became a sun worshipper and is now almost blond himself. I thought I needed to help mine along, so I dyed it bright red for years and years, forgot what my natural color was, and then when I finally stopped - lo and behold, strawberry blond in summer, auburn/chestnut in winter. All the money I wasted on hair dye and all those chemicals clogging up my liver, for NOTHING.

Oh well, it WAS pretty though...

2:53 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I always thought Nicole looks sooo much better as a ginger too. And also when she could make expressions.
Andraste, I bet it looks gorgeous now too.

3:04 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Probably much how you describe yours, Cat. Though I don't call it mongrel colored, more...Lassie colored. That's it. I'm a collie.

3:15 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Smart, good looking and light on your feet, if a little obsessive? A rather good way to be I think. A fine comparison indeed.

3:19 p.m.  
Blogger grimsaburger said...

Eh, I doubt redheads are becoming an endangered sub-species. I've been convinced by the appearance of a couple surprising copper-hued nieces and nephews in the past couple years. The closest I ever got was a vaguely auburn-ish color in my teens, and it's turning progressively darker as I get older.
Spouse, who also has the bluest eyes I've ever seen, was blonde as a baby, then had a bright red 'fro for several years, and in the past 8-10 it's gone darker and darker so that it's almost black now. But he's grown out his beard, which is perfectly ginger. He suspects he looks like a crazy person most days, but I love it.

4:23 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I like it, multi-toned. The paramour grows a fine smattering of ginger in his beard too, although each time he lets it grow out there is considerably more grey in it than the time before. He says that's from living with me. Bloomin' cheek.

5:39 p.m.  
Anonymous nonny said...

arghh yockie yockie, beards, they look cool but you get beard rash bahh.

6:05 p.m.  
Anonymous SeaDreams said...

Ginger.Ginger.Ginger. I just bought a knob of fresh Ginger. It's a very dull brown. Peeled, it's ecru, ivory, off-white.
Carrot I can see, but what's with this Ginger herring?

6:42 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

You've got me there. Are you perchance making delicious curry?

6:47 p.m.  
Anonymous laughykate said...

Why does hair change ? I was born dead straight and developed curls in early twenties. Lots of them. People who knew me as a child or teenager always say, 'Oh you've permed your hair!' My neices and nephew always ask me how come i have curly hair as everyone else in the family has dead straight hair. At Christmas the two year old asked why my hair was bumpy. The ten year old neice is convinced her hair is going to do the same - and she has one vague kink developing. It this something that is hereditary ? Or are we freaks?

9:50 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I honestly don't know. But I hear you. When I was small ALL I wanted was wavy/curly hair. I was so jealous of anyone with a bit of a kink. But oh no, I carried on the great flat pudding bowl tradition right up until was about 14 then suddenly it got wavy. I never understood how it happened, Now whenever I go to the hairdressers and they blow dry it completely straight I'm always 'ohh that's so nice and sleek. But it won't last longer that 24 hours.'
Never happy.
I think I am going to do a post on hair tomorrow. I have questions. Right beddie byes. Up early, plan to do the same tomorrow.

10:14 p.m.  
Anonymous SeaDreams said...

Nope. Tuna, actually, in soy sauce, with Ginger, garlic, & scallions. And wasabi. Just trying to figure out how Ginger, which is, in all forms, about as neutral in color as oatmeal, came to be associated with red hair, orange hair, auburn hair, & freckles.
The Gingero Armada notwithstanding, of course......

10:25 p.m.  
Blogger Dr. James McInerney said...

knob of fresh ginger

heh.

Anyway, I think that ginger is from ginger beer or ginger ale, as they have a ginger colour...if that makes sense.

By the way, I'm ginger. I always thought FMC was ginger and that was what gave her the licence to take the mickey out of ginger people. You know how only Irish people can call themselves paddy or how Chris Rock is the only person allowed to use the 'N' word?

Yeah, I always thought you would be ginger.

10:42 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Take the piss? Are you quite mad? My love for ginger is writ large, poetic and emotional. I have dark hair myself, but my metaphorical roots shall always be fiery.
Seadreams that sound lovely, except the tuna part, which is the only fish I just cannot eat, although I"m not crazy about halibut either.

7:39 a.m.  
Anonymous Jimmy Page's Trousers said...

I'm for saving the Gingers through selective breeding, only if we can keep the ginge-gene away from the Y chromosome.

No to ginger men, I say. As evidenced by many of your own Friday images, FMC, no good can come of having ginger males.

Hurrah for beautiful, ginger girls however. Hurrah!

9:23 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Now now, Friday's gingers are full of grace and poise and steroids. It is ever thusly.

12:03 p.m.  
Anonymous generic viagra said...

I think that it is a big information, so I have been in some parties of DJ Chris Evans and I can say that he is so good, I read the information and I agree with it.T he parties of this DJ are so so excellent.

4:04 p.m.  
Anonymous pharmacy reviews said...

Well I have to be at work from Monday to Friday at 7am, by 8am I'm probably drinking my second cup of coffee.

4:22 p.m.  
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