Friday, January 11, 2008

Happy Ginger day Chumlies!

Guten morgen Chumlies! And Avast, another Friday rolls discreetly across my horizon. I have yet to peruse the papers and time is against me as soon I must go shower and head into town for a curious lunch with my Spanish friend. I say curious because she is on a diet and I am still off the hooch, day 11 now, day 11 and I am feeling pretty bloomin' good.
In case any retinas are still smoldering from today's photo, let me explain. I was going to post a pretty picture of my ginger love muffin Carrot top, but when it was up it looked all wrong for today's post. See, this post is actually an homage to Common Law, long term lady love to the Bearded One, (Gimmie, not Kim, nor Twenty) and as such the photo must be perfect. (Not that I'm saying Common Law is a muscly, walnut coloured She-ra, oh no. Nu-uh).

But she is awesome. See, I was tickled and slightly jealous of her no nonsense approach to the Gils of our doorsteps and the blithering excuses of our manly men, so much so that I practically squeaked with delight.

'You should have just told him to fuck fuck off.'

Eeee. So direct, so to the point. Like Gimmie I too would probably have been dribbling like a blatherskite should someone happened across my step. But no more. No longer. No, nope, never again*.
Next time I hear the click of my gate I will be waiting, no LURKING behind my front door today, just DYING to try that one out on any unsuspecting paper carrier. As soon as they bend down to shove adverts for cobble lock drives ways and fast food joints into my porch I shall open the interior door, leap into the porch and yell
'Didn't you see the sign saying no junk mail? FUCK FUCK OFF!"
Why? Because now I know ladies can have penises if we want, much like the good lady in the photo. Huzzah!
Huzzah for Common Law! ( who doesn't have a penis, but metaphysical balls of steel)

*Although I still think I would rather like to have a button like Mr. Burns, that just releases the hounds. I've ALWAYS wanted one of those.



Blogger The Bad Ambassador said...

Phenomenal! (doo...doooooo..duh...doo...doo)

Although, I fear you may have peaked with this tremendous ginger picture! You will be hard pushed to makee future level of Friday gingerness reach such dizzy heights.

10:37 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Have no fear my Darling, there are ALWAYS delights to be found on the interweb, always.

10:39 a.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...


10:40 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Double huzzah!

10:43 a.m.  
Blogger Birchsprite said...


10:46 a.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

*sympathy vomits*

"Or what? You’ll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths, and when they bark they shoot bees at you?"

10:47 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Indeed, see Spritey, now that's the sort of colour a gal needs to off set beautiful white elegant gowns.
Right, shower.

10:49 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

That the one sheepie!

10:50 a.m.  
Blogger Lou said...

Saw this on the interbox this morning:

*btw I don't normally tool around gamerhelp, it was on digg!

And that pic didn't help my hangover at ALL ... :D

10:54 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Golly, that's quite the likeness. Mmmmm. if only he was a cartoon, I could draw him in the MOST compromising positions.

11:01 a.m.  
Anonymous Babs said...

Did they use Sadolin as makeup, talk about Mahogany Mags!
I am still off the fags and I am finding it easier and easier, last night I almost faltered but had the brainpower and a boyfriend at the other end of a phoneline to support me, one week and counting. I have never lasted this long without cheating a bit, once I even got a fag end out of an ashtray in my house and smoked that, how pathetic.

11:03 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Babs that is such good fucking news! Well done, once this week is over I swear to you it will become second nature not to smoke. You'll have longer and longer times where you forget you're off them, and then it won't be because you're 'off them' it will be because you don't smoke.
Congratulations and well done.
God, I really have to go and fling myself into the shower. Laters.

11:09 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What exactly is that? Actually, don't tell me, I don't want to end up thinking about it in a dream. You're warped FMC.

The drinking, or not in your case. Good discipline. Keep it up. I am pretty much off the cigarettes (again). It's like a revolving door, but I've added lbs over the last month. Many, many pounds. No exercise or food discipline in site. #glances round at the exercise bike in the middle of the office that's become an accomplished coat rack#

But I live in hope.

11:35 a.m.  
Anonymous Babs said...

Oh FMC I meant to ask you for some advice. I want to start to run, as now I will not end up in a heap with my tarry lungs, or rather, hopefully after a while I won't. I am not "unfit" but I do not run normally, I walk alot and do loads of ashtanga, what do I do to start off and not die instantly?

12:41 p.m.  
Blogger gimme a minute said...

Blithering excuses?

I'll have you know I was surrendering my perceived male privilege.

At the time I thought I was making a blithering excuse, yes, but Medbh soon set me straight.

1:21 p.m.  
Anonymous Pinkie said...

I think the very worst thing about that image is the blue eyeshadow...

1:30 p.m.  
Blogger National Disgrace said...

I fear the image has distracted people from your wonderful post... and their lunch

1:55 p.m.  
Blogger grimsaburger said...

Pictures like that make me more sympathetic to sending black-suited goon squads out into the world to sweep up and quarantine certain individuals.
I no longer believe everyone has an equal right to be in this world. And for that, I thank you, Fatmammycat.

1:57 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

Yay for Common Law!
And yay for Gimme giving up his privilege.

But boo to the wooden woman. Those fake nails are icing on a very bad cake.

2:02 p.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

"I think the very worst thing about that image is the blue eyeshadow"

Seriously pinkie!? The general bronzed nakedness is slightly more disturbing to me. That, and the slightly less mahogany-coloured shaved area.

2:12 p.m.  
Anonymous Pinkie said...

'fraid so Sheep.

Though I am not totally adverse to the idea that it might be the combination of the bronze nakedness, square nails, giddy pigtails AND blue eyeshadow that makes my eyes burn...

3:07 p.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

25 mins to beer o'clock! (sorry to rub it in FMC). I am preparing to do the most spectacular swan-dive off 'the wagon'. Have a good w'end.


4:36 p.m.  
Anonymous Sam, Problemchildbride said...

Holy mother of... well she could be the mother of anything from a Louis XVI escritoire to an IKEA bookcase.

Don't take this the wrong way, fmc, I love you, you know I do but ... no wait, just listen... Toots, I think there may be something wrong with you. It started out with just a few innocent gingers or so but look what it's become? Laquered gingers. I don't know what she's doing in that bathroom - it's not soap she needs, it's Pledge.

5:26 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Replace the pigtails with a bunch of feathers and it's a cigar store Indian.


5:35 p.m.  
Blogger John Mc said...

Jesus, FMC, you trying to get me fired.

5:52 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Y'allis most welcome for whut y'alls take from this here Friday post 'n picture. Ifen y'all 'cuse me now, i am the the ever tired wreck of the Hespa, g'night.
Babs, I will most surely attempt to answer that question tomorrow.

11:10 p.m.  
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3:05 a.m.  
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