I am not one of those people who can wake up and sit directly at a computer. I must be coaxed to my desk, like a nervous filly needs to be coaxed into a horse box.
This morning I got up, dithered about, had a few coffees, sat down at desk, checked interweb, answered emails and, eventually, opened the file I'm working on.
I reared up and fled desk almost immediately.
Okay then, steady, steady, bring her round again.
So I put on a wash, made the bed, had another coffee, watched some TV3(whispered) made a slice of toast, fed cats, checked watch. EEK!
Right Lads, you have her!
And so to work.
Just run her in! You! Stand there at the side, don't let her step off it.
I sat down again. I put on Life and Art, Callas would calm my frazzled self.
Easy girl easy now...
I eased my fingers towards the keyboard and paused, poised, breathing shallow, eyebrows furrowed...I scrolled up. There! I could feel it, my feeble brain was bending to the yolk of work. Strains of Bellini wafted through the cool air "Cas....ta Diva, che inargenti..."
She has her feet on the boards, throw a rope behind her there!
I rolled my neck, focused, rested the tips of my fingers on the keys -steady now- I took a deep breath.
Right lads you have her. Quick, roll up the back of the trailer.
STEP BACK LADS! She's coming out!!!
I stomp off and answer it. Some chirpy broad from phone company wants to know if I am happy with my service and do I have broadband...
I say I am very happy, I don't make a lot of calls and I have broadband. She persists with questions. I remain polite, but half way through her third attempt to sell me something I rip the phone free from the wall and...
...canter off across the fields, the ropes swinging form my head collar. Free! Even if only for another few minutes. Oh I can see responsibility running after me, shaking a bucket of feed in its treacherous hand and I know I will allow myself to be caught, but not right now.