Friday, August 11, 2006

Boring children or selfish hussy?

Oh now, everyone is up in arms over this
My eldest sister is incensed. Well? What do we think? Is this lady being honest? Personally I don't see why she bothered having children in the first place if she doesn't want to spend any time at all with them, but that's just me.
My nieces and nephews are hilarious, exhausting but really really funny and it is a real eye opener spending time with them. I can't imagine spending every waking moment with my children, but surely watching Spongebob, days at the zoo and bringing them to a science museum/cinema and watching their faces absorb things is one of the perks of motherhood? No? Am I wrong?


Anonymous Cate said...

I'm ashamed to say that I agree with this woman. All the children/baby chatter that goes on in work bores me stupid. I couldn't give a flying star shaped shit if little Mary took a hundred steps yesterday let alone her first one. Big fuckin deal. Maybe my attitude will change when/if I have my own but I really don't think so. Children these days dictate to their parents how they should be brought up. Who's the boss here? The child or the adult? Children need to learn to respect their elders. If, when we were young and needed to go to football training, badminton whatever, we walked, skipped, cycled, ran with our friends, we didn't depend on our parents for everything. The way things are going now, some children will still be breastfeeding when they're 35.

2:23 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I grew up outdoors and am from a generation that was not 'entertained ' by my parents, but I don't know cate. While being stuck 24/7 might be overbearingly dull and certainly listening to parents go on baout their children is a bit much sometimes, in the article the writer seems to find every aspect of raising her own children boring, even sitting in a cinema watching Pirates of the Carribean... Sound ify to me.

2:27 p.m.  
Anonymous Cate said...

I have no doubt from her article that she probably has more money than sense and from what I've read her parenting skills are somewhat negligent, but I'm still of the opinion that when they're older and able to converse with her in a more intelligent adult way then I'm sure she'll be a better mother to them then. Not over protective, lonely and vunerable like those who tend to idolise their babies when they are young.

2:46 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Hmmm...I see both sides of this issue. FOr one thing, yes, children bore me to tears. And hearing about all the 'cute shite' they do all day from proud mothers at work would make my skin crawl. I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than attend a child's birthday party. They do get interesting when they reach 10 or 11 or so, and can have a conversation, or help me program my VCR or fix my computer, but I really have no use for them until then.

But - this woman writing an article in which she actually says "my children bore me rigid..." ...Hmmm...I wonder how it'll bore her later on, when they find the article in a desk somewhere and make her pay for their therapy.

2:53 p.m.  
Blogger plurabella said...

No child needs therapy if their parents are honest with them, in the gentlest of ways of course. Anything else leads to mixed messages and confusion, now and later on.

I admire her, she had the balls to say how she felt, her children may bore her, though I am sure that she loves them, and that is all that really matters.

The whole idea that women should be the perfect mother and parent is as we all know when we reach adulthood, (well I hope so) much the myth; a mother or a father for that matter is an adult trying to do the best they can and making mistakes as they go along.

No one loves us less, if we can tell the truth with kindness. Anyway isn't that one of the corner stones of the "Mammy Culture", martyrdom: "oh all those sacrifices I made for you". Thats the sort of family dynamic that later on sends them in their droves to therapy. When the solution in the first place was for the parents to have had therapy before they had children. Chicken and Egg??

3:25 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I wish I had the time right now to respond properly to this post. For now, I'll say, of course children can be boring. But like anything else worth doing you have to put the hours in. The reward is all sorts of wonderfullittle moments with your kids that you couldn't have anticipated and certainly couldn't schedule for.

Constancy is what a child needs, not 100% of your attention all day long - the author is right as far as that goes - but simply being there for when things go wrong or they get tired and antsy is, it seems to me, the best you can do for them.

Isn't our job as parents to help our kids manke sense of the world and learn how to deal with it, and their own hurts and frustrations? We're never going to get through that lot without tears, tantrums and tediums, but bloddy hell - this woman appears to want to have nothing to do with her children. Gotta do a bit of hard work in this world to see the value in anything. Sounds like she can't see the value because she won't do the work.

Got to go - I hear a child impinging on my lifestyle.

3:41 p.m.  
Blogger John Mc said...

well said Sam. No offence to all the other commentators above, but its always the ones who can't stand kids and hearing about them, that can't shut up about them when they have their own.

4:06 p.m.  
Anonymous Bonnie said...

Some parents have a "favorite age" with their kids. (And if your favorite is 2 year olds, then you should be placed in a mental institution!) My sister loved the helpless baby stage and I prefer them when they're a bit older and more interesting. And Cate, your statement "Children these days dictate to their parents how they should be brought up." is the fault of the parents, not the children. Parents now are too lazy to say no or, god forbid, discipline their little darlings. It's so much easier to give them everything they want rather than saying no when necessary, isn't it? And then those self-indulged, spoiled little brats are let loose on the world for the rest of us to enjoy and end up working with!!!

4:43 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That woman is completely mad. She's obviously got a busy, fulfilling career, and probably only has the opportunity to see her kids for a few short hours every day, and yet she grumbles. Also if they require enormous amounts of attention at ages 10 and 12 she's gone horrifically wrong somewhere.

I could never be a full-time mother, and I'm sure life is very dull for women who stay home with the kids all day, but I enjoy most of the time I spend with my son because I'm more often away from him than with him.

As for the suggestion that she will be a better mother to them when they are adults - by then it will be too late.

6:16 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Oh, John Mc, I'll take that as a challenge.

We shall see. If I spawn and become one of those blatherers about them in this or any other forum, I'll send you some nice scotch.

6:27 p.m.  
Blogger John Mc said...


Laphroaig please :)

8:56 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

You're on!

11:39 p.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

Did someone say something about free whiskey?

11:25 a.m.  
Blogger emma said...

Spending a lot of time with kids is boring whichever way you cut the cake. You have fun because you only see your nieces and nephews now and again. That doesn't mean I don't love my kids to death and do my best to entertain them, it's just that the summer hols are very draining. I must admit I felt jealous of Catherine Zeta Jones who says she has a night nanny, so she isn't bothered by her kids between 8pm and something ridiculously late like 8 am in the morning! Still, it wouldn't be worth having the night nanny if one had to go through the hell of sleeping with Michael Douglas.

3:56 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Eurgh, could you imagine? I'd rather the kids kept me up half the night than him.

6:00 p.m.  
Blogger FiveFootBagel said...

True that it is impossible to understand the work you will put in during your children's youth...until you actually have your own. But it ends at some point. As a single mother, I've taken up all the slack since my children were very young (and I don't ramble on about them to those that are clearly not involved or interested!) Articles such as this one really annoy me. But thanks for pointing it out - it's nice to know how 'the other half' parents!

2:44 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Welcome Miss Bagel. I don't think the woman in the article does much by way of actual parenting. She seems content to foot the bills and so on, but that seems to be about it.

5:26 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yep they can be boring sometimes but she sounds even more boring, I am amazed she knows their names and how old is that photo or doesn't she feed them either--looked pretty small for 12 and 10!!or maybe she chose that photo cause she's trying to knock a few years off herself!

9:07 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

See this is why so many mothers are dumbfounded when they find out what true parenting is all about. Anytime a woman has the audacity to speak the harsh truth she gets chastised out of this world. I like the Desperate Housewives episode when Felicity's character asks why did not anyone tell her that this is real parenthood is like why she popped her coping pills. I'll tell you why no one speaks up. Because no one will listen!

6:01 p.m.  
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