Monday, August 28, 2006


Hello fatmammycatters,

this is Twenty Major. Fatmammycat has concussion. She is seeing stars like a common Warner Brothers cartoon character. Will be out Thursday. Hospital food terrible, mixed. Mixed is bad.

That is all.


ps - cunt. heh.


Blogger Willie_W said...

Is that a direct result from the dig in the puss, or (Heaven forbid!) a new calamity which has befallen? In any event, hope the room stops spinning soon.

12:00 a.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

I think she went for another look at the 'house' the paramour is buying and a beam fell on her.

Poor thing.

The most disturbing thing? That Twenty Major has access to the login and passwords to update this site. YIKES!

1:34 a.m.  
Blogger finn said...

or perhaps it's a plot to distract the paramour from his real estate dealings. you know how crafty FMC is.

twenty i hope you are waking her up every hour. please send her best wishes!

12:38 p.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

Well we have been worried! Thanks for the update.
Hope you're feeling better when you read this FMC.
Was it Memnoch the Sadist who did this to you???
If so, we need to plan Revenge!

1:08 p.m.  
Anonymous Annie said...

Feel better soon, FMC.

Twenty, smuggle some decent food into the hospital for that poor girl!

1:43 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Blimey! Well, tell her her carefree woman-of-the-world duties will not go untended as she lies muddled with concussion (concussion? - shit). Tell her I will take up her mantle, don the terrifying heels and, with solemnity and gravity for the cats that couldn't be with us tonight, proceed to maintain her stunning pace with whatever French gay I can find (ask her if a Mexican gay would do).

Rum's her tipple, right? I'm on the case. The world must not be allowed to go out of joint while fmc rests. I just hope my softened house-wife liver is up to the task. I'll have to wear the liver-support belt, I think. I didn't think I'd need it again 'til I was back on the island.

(Offline rummaging)

Send her my best wishes, wont ya, Twenty?

3:17 p.m.  
Anonymous QJS said...

Mentioned you were laid low by concussion to Bocktherobber, Surfer and The Earl. We all send our best wishes. 44 Magnums and rations of Wild Turkey have been distributed and we await the identity of your assailant. At your service. Get well soon FMC.

4:34 p.m.  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

Well done Twenty Majors.

I too have not been slack. I’ve sent tons of good vibes. My left hand shakes now and I’ve got a bit of a tic but that will pass apparently.

Get well soon.

8:45 a.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

I'm sure whatever it was you were doing with your left hand brought her back from the brink, Maroon.

Fair play.

8:57 a.m.  
Blogger Springfield said...

no worries fmc. i'll take up post here in the midwest. went out the other nite, and after a few rum and somethings, woke up alone but wearing someone else's clothes. all of this *after* i had convinced some unwitting souls that 3 in the morning is the perfect time to go jump in the lake.


2:35 p.m.  
Blogger Foot Eater said...

Sam said 'shit'!

Get better quickly, FMC.

6:00 p.m.  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

Of the 34 kickboxing gyms I contacted in the greater Dublin area, 13 admit to having a Memnoch as sensei and get this, on the day in question, 6 of the bastards admitted to splitting a girls lip.
Fatmammycat, I have all the relevant Memnochs here in Maroon Towers. I shall post their photos, you indicate which one it is and he’s history. I’ll get back to you once I find that fucking Polaroid.

I know it’s old hat when all you need’s a phone camera but peeling off the backing while standing there in the scud was always kind of….look never mind about all that now.

10:02 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Footsie, bums!

Doccles, don't go on with what you were about to say. Only remember, once you send it spinning off into the internet it will be there, somewhere FOREVER...((forever))...((rever))...((ever))((er))...((r))...

But we're all lovely and we'd never blog and tell.

1:27 a.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

So where is The Cat herself!?! Come back come back come back, today is Thursday, you should get home today..?
Ah, how my heart beats faster and my hands tremble at the thought of all the unspeakable things Dr Maroon will do to Memnoch the Sadist.
Quite exciting, really.

11:08 a.m.  
Anonymous Ronnie. said...

Having always felt that Twenty is,in fact,a committee ,this turn of events does not surprise me except for the fact that Miss Cat may be a member of said committee.
Twenty may even be ol' Hazeleyes himself,the paramour.????

If this doesn't shake her out of the concussion,nothing will.

3:29 p.m.  
Blogger finn said...

i miss her


3:45 p.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

I'v started to check the site now every 5 minutes for a sign of life!It's the same feeling I had as a little girl waiting for Santa.

5:13 p.m.  
Blogger finn said...

you too??
well it's nice to have company at least.

6:24 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I miss you. I really hope you're all-right, you've been absent for a bit. Concussions can be nasty. Take it easy, sweetie-pie.

6:32 p.m.  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

If she's got concussion, she won't know it's Thursday. She could very well think it's next Tuesday and she's ordered a cwt of quince to make marmalade.

7:33 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

THe concussion may be more serious than we thought. Maybe she doesn't realize she's Fatmammycat, and actually believes herself to be Twenty Major.

...hey...he says he adopted a stray kitten last night...and that's definitely more in line with FMC's behavior....

No, that's just too weird.

8:20 p.m.  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

that IS weird.

8:43 p.m.  
Blogger Foot Eater said...

Twenty may even be ol' Hazeleyes himself,the paramour.????

Jesus, Ronnie, that's provocative. I don't envy you when she gets back.

11:36 p.m.  
Blogger Monstee said...

OH ME GOD! Me just heard! Where am we? What am the status of everything? Who knows what? Am FMC still OK?!?!?


Please FMC, say you still ok and getting better all the time!

10:16 a.m.  
Blogger SafeTinspector said...

Concussed from a jaw-shot? Memnoch (what the hell nationality is "Memnoch," anyway?) must be an absolute beast.
If your body is a temple, then I think he's violated teh sanctity of your ziggurat.

1:27 p.m.  
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