Worst Christmas present ever.
Well, how about it? I was over at http://www.thefullstop.blogspot.com/ sniggering and tittering at Kieran's gifts and then it struck me. What is the very worst present you have ever gotten?
I've had a few, but when I was 7 my aunt_mother's sister naturally- gave me a clown, a clown of unimaginable horror. It was life size- for a 7 year old- it had bells on it it had a big slash for a mouth and it appeared to be following me with its eyes. I was terrified of it, so scared I still have it. It's up there in the attic, waiting, listening. It knows I'm thinking about it.
I'm afraid to get rid of it in case it gets offended and comes back to slit my throat in my sleep some night.
I was also given a jumper from my mother one year, a scratchy round necked jumper, a scratchy round necked with a big stick- on flower the size of a dinner plate on the front. I was thirteen and trying to be Robert Smith. I don't even have the words to describe my utter resentment when I opened that monstrosity.
Oh, and I'd like special mention to go to the girl I did Kriss Kindle with in school in forth year. I should have shoved the plastic bangle up your arse, you freckle-faced geebag. It didn't even fit over my hand. I think you found it on the way to school.