Saturday, January 20, 2007

Darling, meet darling.

"A WOMAN called Darling has been told she cannot become a Spanish citizen — because her name is unacceptable.
"Darling Velez, 33, was told the country’s law prohibits names that do not clearly indicate gender or could expose a person to ridicule.

A public registry office rejected her application — suggesting she adopt a saint’s name instead.

But Colombian-born Ms Velez, who lives near Madrid, is battling to stay Darling.

She said: “It’s part of my personality. They can’t force me to change it.”

Quite Right! If Jesus is a perfectly good name is Spain then so is Darling.

She'd fit right in with our crowd. We the biggest cowd of Darling users and abusers you'd every have the misfortune to meet . Even at that thingie the other night everyone was mwah mwahing and saying 'Darling how are you?' 'oh Darling, I want you to meet this Darling couple' and 'Darling I just love that your comfortable with your shape, so liberating darling.'
Sure some people think this is affected poppycockery, but it really isn't. The reality is far less pompous and more to do with the fact that there is always alcohol involved at these things. None of us can remember each other's names and having possibly been introduced more that once over the years, we are all too embarrassed to say, ' Oh good to see you for the fifth time this year, what the hell is your name again?'
So everyone becomes 'Darling'.
Really, it makes perfect-.
I smell brownies.
Have a good weekend y'all.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember a girl in my junior high had the unfortunate name "Darlin." That's right, no G.

I never knew her well, but someone told me she hated me. She probably had no idea who I was and that someone was just trying to start some shit. I never bit. I just said "Good for her." I was probably more mature then than I am now.

4:20 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

In Lewis, where alcohol frequently clouds the memory, we have developed an elegantly simple system of covering for ourselves when the name of a baby or a new beau (particularly these two, 'cos nothing ever changes but them in the Hebrides) won't arrive on the tongue.

We say "So how's himself then, Mairead?" or "How's the wee one?"
If we absolutely must come up with a name, "Murdo-Iain" will cover 51% of boys and so is a safe bet. Likewise, Ceitidh-Ann for a girl.

Or it used to be. My own friends and family have produced babies of such exotic (for Lewis) names as Molly, Millie, Ria, Eve and Thea. It's only the far flung Canadian or Mainlandian etc. relatives that call their young breed things like Callum or Catriona any more.

I can see where Darling come from, but I still think it lends itself to unnecessary gasping.

4:28 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Why the hell would some one tell you she hated you if you didn't know, thus making you feel odd about it? People are very strange I find.
Oh Sam, a girl my friend knows down the country recently had a baby girl and called it-I shit you not- Destiny. Imagine being called Destiny Lynch?
I like old fashioned names like Arthur and Alfred and George and Saul. MY mother accuses me of 'protestant leanings' whenever I say it though, but that's because she thinks boys should be called Patrick and Sean and whatnot.
And she's nuts.

5:49 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I love the name George. I've never met a George I didn't like. And of course there's Clooney.

I quite like Molly and Millie and, like you, old fashioned names. For exoticness though my daughters' pre-school (wierdy-beardy school) takes the coconut 'n' papaya biscuit. We have a Lake (boy), a Cayden (b), a a Stapley (g), a Sabine (g and unraped), a Quinton (b), a Keelin(b) and assorted others. Oddly enough, after a while, these names seem perfectly ordinary and my wee Kate and Jane look like the cutting edge in retro-nameionics. They're not though. We just figured we should give them first names that are easy to spell given their surname is such a bugger.

There are two weathermen on the local LA channels here, one is Dallas Rains, the other is Johnny Mountain (quite cool that one). Stone Phillips is one of the network's big time documentary guys.

All a bit odd, when you have an uncle called Donald MacDonald and go to weddings where Angus and MacIver's daughter marries Angus MacIver's son, legally, and all your uncles are different combinations of ???-Iain: Murdo Iain, Calum Iain, Alasdair Iain, Domhnaill Iain or Alec Murdo Iain - the only way to distinguish people is by nickname or inherited nickname. All of which I will admit is a bit odd too. But it's odder here.

6:30 a.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Having said that, (all that, God, I'm on a gab-fest tonight) these unusually named children at preschool are lovely wee sweethearts to a child. In America it's the Buds and the Chucks and the John J. Edgar the Thirds you have to watch out for.

6:48 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Destiny" isn't that bad, compare to the names that we get here in the ghetto. My daughter went to school with 2 black girls named Chlorine and LaTrine. But really, I'm sure they aren't advancing in life because whitey's keeping them down, and not because of their ignorant parents.

I gave my kids traditional first names, and went all artsy on their middle names. That way they can be Young Republicans or hippies, their choice.

But I really can't picture a Destiny or a Chlorine or a Latrine being succesful in life. What are people thinking?

10:53 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

That's a whole lotta Iains and I'm reading a book by Iains Banks at the moment so it's all the more fishy.
On the 'how's himself' and so on, in Wicklow a very large number of people say mysterious things like 'ah tis yourself' when they meet me.
This never fails to confuse me as quite obviously I have never been anything other than myself and don't understand why they say it with such relief. Was I someone else that last time we met? My uncle perhaps, that would get confusing I suppose..

Latrine? I want to snarf at that but I cannot. I mean why not call the poor kid, 'Fucked' and be done with it.
I am only up an hour and my head hurts and I now am forced to accept- by my paramour of all people- that I cannnot wiggle out of an engagement and so must shower and stop groaning and feeling sorry for myself.
There should be some rule that people who were out the night befpre do not have to attend things. When I am Queen I will bring in this rule and anyone caught flauting it will be horse whipped and made to listen to jazz.

2:36 p.m.  
Blogger PI said...

I'm so glad you explained that because I have been an inveterate darling user as long as I can remember and, especially now, it saves me having to put my brain in gear. But I could never use it to someone I actively disliked.
Oddly I think I first started using when directing a play - so many characters to remember and it softened the direction I think. Reminds me of the lines:
'Yes darling?'
'Nothing darling. Just darling, darling...'

2:51 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Ah Pat, that's from Vile Bodies is it not?

8:12 p.m.  
Blogger Kim Ayres said...

But Darling is also a surname (Alistair Darling, MP springs tomind). Does this mean that somewhere out there, there's a Darling Darling?

11:07 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

There was a Captain Darling in Black Adder. Darling Darling would be a cracking name to have.

11:33 a.m.  
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