While waiting for the supposed tornado to strike I realised-astounded- that it has been some time since I did a Hollywood round up of tat. So without further ado...
Britney Spears continues on her quest to spend as little time with either of her children as possible. She succeeds.
Paris Hilton dents expensive car, nobody seems surprised, especially car.
Jennifer Anniston wins 'People's choice award for favourite actress' Across the globe millions of BAMZS (Brad Angelina Maddoz Zahara Shiloh) fans screech and gibber while sacrificing chickens and sticking wooden pin in blonde Bratz dolls.
Matthew McConaughey has a shower and puts on a shirt again. People don't recognise him and he is refused entry to the Ivy.
Beyonce Knowles didn't write any of the music for Dreamgirls, nobody is surprised, least of all her.
Justin TImberlake continues to be boring, but is supposedly dating Harlot Johanson instead of the the Joker.
Marilyn Manson dates Evan Rachael Woods (19) some of us wonder if Dita found him to serve divorce papers yet. Some of our sisters wonder is ERW blind and on xanex or Lithium.
Donald and Rosie continue to trade Barbs, Barbs herself tries to wiggle out if it but the Donald aka the Combover Bunny, hangs her out to drip dry, straightening her neck in the process. Nudie pictures of Bunny's wife Melanie appear, said photos were taken back in the day when she could still blink.
Hilary Swank gets a holly wood star, she whinnys in delight and prances off to kick her ex-husband Chad Lowe, lovingly and with the greatest of respect, in the head. When Studio execs find out she made a film version of PS I LOVE you, she is rounded up and sent to the glue factory. The star is then given to Ed Norton, because he broke his back falling off Hillary while filming The Painted Veil.
NIcole Kidman continues to shine, no really, her skin is so stretched and shiny tired ducks keep trying to land on her.
Carmen Electra finally comes out, she admits she was Ray Liotta all along. World congratulates her on stellar preformance in Goodfellas. Dennis Rodman proposes again. Carmen blows him off. Well, maybe not off.