Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Nero Wolfe

I am back to work, I am inexplicably hungover.
Plus ça change.
Engorged, as I am from drinking copiously and from eating my own body weight in christmas dinners: gravy-two kinds-mashed potatoes, mushy peas, roasted parsnips, carrots, roasted spuds, sprouts from the vine, stuffing-two kinds-oh yes, and turkey annd honey glazed ham, prawns, smoked salmon, soda bread and Marie Rose sauce, I vowed, most port-ily to my newer retund self that I would stop eating meat and eat yet more delicious veggies. I also proclaimed loudly that I would cease drinking as much as a sailor or sailors...on shore leave for the first time in many months at sea.
And I would have no problem with this at ALL! Had not a certain man with browny/greeny eyes and excellent arms not gone out of his way to provide me with the 'complete Nero Wolfe box set' as part of all things presenty.
Days of watching Fritz the Swiss cook create meals of tender veal and roasted starlings, of rich well seasoned game, of fennel and garlic and oil and rosemary rubbed pork, drip droolingly described suckling pig, of sweet crackling crubeens and sweetbreads doused in mild french mustard and aromatic spices....
For God's sake!
What is a fat cat to do?
I immedatiely raced my less than nubile body off to WILSONS BUTCHERS in Rathfarnham.
'Please sir,' I cried, 'a ring of your white pudding, a pound of your smoked maple backed rashers, some of those hand reared organic pork sausages, stuffed with sage and herbs, what do you mean stop drooling on the glass? Bah! Give me five of those tender lambs chops and eeeeeeeeeeeee, some of those YELLOW breasts of organic fancy assed chicken!'
Tonight I am making a dinner of peppers and chicken. And I will ENJOY it.
Paramour had better like 'more' of me.

26 Comments:

Anonymous Jimmy Page's Trousers said...

White pud and smoky, smoky rashers? Drooooool.

Piggies that were hand-reared and fed nice healthy stuff before taking a million amps through their yummy organic brains, being minced and shoved into sausage tubes with a secret blend of herbs and spices? Delicious.

Chicken that is actually yellow rather than insipid white from being pumped full of amphetamines and antibiotics and wallowing in its own shite? Guuggggggggghhhhhh (not sure how to spell that Homer Simpson drooling noise).

I shall seek out this butchers in the place of my usual supermarket 'meat-substitute' (now with 20% more sawdust and offal).

Oh, Fat Mammy Cat, the way to my heart is, most certainly, through my, now distended, gastrocity of a stomach. Fry it baby, fry it.

2:13 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It's Wilsons in Rathfarnham shopping centre, I heartily recommend folk get their meat from butchers anyway, although Superquinn's meat counter is not bad at all.
Before all the rules and regulations came in a very nice man down the road from my mother's house raised delicious pigs fed from all the swill collected from the local hotels. And by golly his pigs were yummy.

2:27 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You really should have sent Archie Goodwin to the shop. That's what he's for, right?

9:20 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Say, that's right. And he would have gone see, right after he bopped some guy in the kisser for being a sap.
See.

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