Forehead Slapping.
'What are we getting our mother on Mother's day?' My sister Etheline said, in a frankly demanding tone not one half hour ago.
'Salmonella?' I offered, while trying desperately to walk across the floors on my heels (wet nail polish)
'We have to get her something.'
'We? What's this 'we' business freckle face?'
'What about perfume?'
'Fine, get her perfume.'
'All right then, you come up with something.' She yelled.
Did she think 'Fine, get her perfume' was the same as 'Bitch I'm gonna fuck you up! I mean it, come closer and I"m a gonna cut you!'
'Get her a 'Curves' membership.' I say, helpfully I thought.
'There's just no point even talking to you is there.' My sister said, before hanging up on me.
I wonder what my sister hears? Loud whistles and pops I'm sure, maybe some barking.
'Salmonella?' I offered, while trying desperately to walk across the floors on my heels (wet nail polish)
'We have to get her something.'
'We? What's this 'we' business freckle face?'
'What about perfume?'
'Fine, get her perfume.'
'All right then, you come up with something.' She yelled.
Did she think 'Fine, get her perfume' was the same as 'Bitch I'm gonna fuck you up! I mean it, come closer and I"m a gonna cut you!'
'Get her a 'Curves' membership.' I say, helpfully I thought.
'There's just no point even talking to you is there.' My sister said, before hanging up on me.
I wonder what my sister hears? Loud whistles and pops I'm sure, maybe some barking.
Labels: insane, sister, voices in her head.
posted by fatmammycat at 5:42 p.m.
5 Comments:
:snortle:
reminds me of this.
Eh, get her an M & S voucher. That's what all mammies want isn't it?
Dear God, isn't it?!
I fear there may be a disappointed Mammy round my way so!
(I don't mean to take sides, but in my family I'm always the one who has to come up wiht the present ideas for the folks and it wears a bit thin after a while. There are four of us. If just once one of the others thought of something and I could say 'fine, here's the money' just ONCE it'd make my year. So I kinda see where your sis is coming from.)
A hundred weight of jelly babies and a some fluffy lilac mules.
Sweet and funny fatmammycat, hello! I am one fucked up problemchildbride. We wom Team Trivia Tuesday and I amfloatingon the tequila (double x 3 fer prizes + drinks we bought anyway ) scented wings of success. It's magnificent. I can see far mountains right across the room!
All I'm wantimg to say is hello! and the very next time I'm in Ireland we are going to drink some serious swill together and eat some serios crisps!
x!
Snarf Finn. Too true.
Mizz Kaz, your Mammy takes spiders from your bed, the VELLY least you should be doing is plotting a nice day for her.
Well done on the win Miss Sam, swill and crisps you say, don't worry should you come over I know just the place.
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