Arguments with my mother. Part gazillion and fifty.
It is a sunny day, birdies are singing, a tabby cat is snoozing in a patch of sunlight, the smell of rich strong coffee fills the kitchen. An auburn haired woman in a black dress and a lilac sofa in comfortable shoes are having an argument. Nostrils are flared.
'What do you mean you don't believe in God?'
'What do you mean what do I mean? Anyway, I didn't say per se I didn't believe in God but I do have a super hard time with-.'
'Of course you believe.'
' I like the idea of it, but-'
'You mean to sit there and tell me your turning your back on everything you know?'
'After everything, after all these years you would do that!'
'How the hell does my wondering if a deity exists or not equal turning my back on everyting I know? What kind of stupid argument is that? Everything I know? Do you think my questioning a theory-
'Yes a theory, I think the idea that there might or might not be a god is pretty close to a theory-STOP BLESSING YOURSELF! Anyway, my questioning does not mean I suddenly forget everything else. I can still drive a car you know, I can still talk, I can still recognise people.' *
'Well I think that's outrageous. You and all your ould guff, this really takes the biscuit! You stick your head in all those books and come with this sort of thing on purpose.'
'I saw that book, what's that fellow who was on the Late late?'
'Yes, going on, spreading all his old shite.'
'Yeah, imagine someone going around spreading his views all over the world, next thing you'll be calling him a missonary.'
'Let me tell you something Missy, ** one of these days you'll realise your wrong. You're too big for your boots, that's what wrong with you.'
'Size 7 Ma, still remember that too.'
'Oh you're so-'
'-sharp I'll cut myself, yeah, looks like I haven't turned my back on everything after all.'
'I'll pray for you.'
'I'll exercise for you.'
'Nothing. More coffee?
* Yes, it was that ridiculous.
** Most hated name.
I would also like to point out that my mother bring her dog to a faith healer, but I'm the one who come out with 'guff'.
STONKINGLY GOOD, APT LINK AND UPDATE (stolen fully from Pharyngula)