Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Domestic bliss.

The paramour has a back ache, naturally this mean he's going about the place, being disagreeable and creaking a lot. I was at my desk a while ago when he drifted by.
'What are you doing?" he asked.
'Looking at pictures of charred corpses.' I replied.
'I see. Why?'
''To see what kind of accelerant a person would need to cover up a muder. How high would the temperatures need to be to completely destroy any and all evidence of foul play. And how could such a blaze be considered an accident in the first place. It's tricksy with accelerants, they're too easily traced.'
'Remind me never to cross you.'
'Don't worry Sweetie, I wouldn't burn you.'
'Good.'
'I'd get you drunk, take you night swimming and drown you.'
'That's comforting to know.'
'Do you want a green tea?'
'Sure, that would be nice.'
'I'll make you one in a few minutes.'
Thank you.'
He then wandered off to gobble painkillers, the bigger of the cats yawned and I went back to looking at corpse photos.

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13 Comments:

Blogger John Mc said...

So Fmc, Jazz, Jimmy Smith. Dju listen ?
Very good back ache music.

5:24 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I did not, but I looked him up and searched for a site that might have some of his tunes to have a listen to and I came away with nowt.

5:54 p.m.  
Blogger John Mc said...

tell you wha' - if are so inclined email me at johnunderscoremcunderscoredermottathotmail.com

I will return email with a few mp3's - if you would prefer not to have your email known to moi, I can stick a few up on my website and you can download them.

6:31 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Done and done. May God have mercy on my ears.

6:35 p.m.  
Anonymous sarah said...

how deliciously diabolical of you.

:o)

7:09 p.m.  
Anonymous Primal Sneeze said...

I've called a priest. He'll be around shortly.

8:07 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Sarah! How the Blunt Cogs goes it? I must be mad must I?
Primal, I'll be round your later, make sure there is rum to be had. If that eeeviil John Mc sends me jazz stuff I will need it. I said I would listen and listen I will, I never said nowt about being sober.

9:09 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

The only accelerant that is any use in a crime is an Aston Martin Vanquish getaway car or similar.

10:00 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I see, expensive though for the old murder. Anyhoo, how are you feeling darling girl, any better? I'm watching the Fifth Element, golly I do like Gary Oldman a whole lot. Ad /refresh drink/pee/check mail break is nearly over, so nighty night.

10:28 p.m.  
Blogger Manuel said...

green tea is good but try "redbush", aids sleep, then kill him, just a thought

12:20 a.m.  
Blogger John Mc said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

6:25 a.m.  
Blogger John Mc said...

FMC,

Definitely throw back a few before listening. Jazz, (especially the old school stuff I sent you), is written for drunks, (not that you are a drunk)

Throw is not spelled t.h.r.o.u.g.h - hence previously deleted comments. I plead scotch as the only reason for my spelling problems.

6:27 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Got them John, will listen to them this evening. Seems too early to do it now. And yes, perhaps with a drink in one hand might be the way to go about it.

Redbush you say Manuel, hummm.

8:55 a.m.  

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