Can there be more frightening words in the galaxy? Well, apart from 'Your mother's here.'
Last night I was lounging, my legs kicked over the side of an armchair, my feet bare, a cat and a book on my lap. I was sipping a vodka and in general I was blissfully happy.
Then the phone rang. I hate phones. Not as much as jazz, it has to be said, but close enough.
But because the paramour was off 'doing stuff' and it was by my elbow I had no option but to answer it. And ' Oi you!' Is what I got for my troubles.
'Hello?' I said, nervously, scarededly, scarvously.
It's me, you idiot. Claire.'
'Ah Claire!' I cried in relief. Claire, sparring partner and champion beeeeatch, also hints of ginger. 'What ho.'
'What ho my hole.' Said she, rather crossly I thought. 'Have you joined a new dojo yet?'
And I was off, waffling...running you see, 10k, got a medal, wearing it right now, velly busy, sunny weather, gym...
'So no then.' She said when I paused to draw breath.
I don't like that about her. I admire it, but I don't like it. She's a bloody narwhal when it comes to poking through layers of crapology.
'Well, no. I haven't, yet. But I have been thinking about it, a great deal in fact. I was just thinking about it the other day, there I was in Superquinn when I said to myself, Cat, you really must-'
'Right. Well I'm going to check out this new place tomorrow night. You can come with me.'
'Ye.........sssss, tomorrow? I think I might be-'
'I'l swing by and pick you up at half six, the class doesn't start until seven.'
'Ah, Thursday, tricky sort of day Thursday, I might-'
And she was gone, poof, just like that.
I put the phone back and digested this information. Puddy snored contentedly on. I tried to go back to my book, but it was no use.
Bah, and very possibly, ouch.