Friday, June 01, 2007

A fat filled, tasty, sexist sort of post.

A triple-decker if you will, with a topping of wii!
Firstly a very good Friday to you all.
Secondly this is a rambler, but see if you can track along with me,

Part 1-Europe is getting fatter. According to the European Commission our bellies are bulgier,our asses wider, our hips wider and out bingo wings flap-tacular. A full 50% of us are not overweight/obese and this figure is set to rise."The figures are frightening. More than 21 million children are overweight or obese," Mr Kyprianou -he of the commission said.

EUROPE'S HEAVYWEIGHTS
Malta - 26.6
Greece - 25.9
Finland - 25.8
Luxembourg - 25.7
Hungary - 25.6
Cyprus - 25.6
Lithuania - 25.5
Slovenia - 25.5
Denmark - 25.5
UK - 25.4
Body Mass Index figures (healthy = 18.5 to 25)

"Even more worrying, the rate of increase [among children] is more than 400,000 per year. Today's overweight children will be tomorrow's adults with all these chronic illnesses."

So there you have it, in a nut shell, in a McDoanalds wrapper, in a Nachos 'n cheese bundle. We're getting lardy-assed at an alarming rate. I don't know where the Irish fit the above graph, but if my walk all over Parnell street and Capel Street yesterday was anything to go by then we're probably right up there.

2-Part 2 Bearing this in mind let me impart my new breakfast on you all. Cheap as chips, healthy as a fox, and best of all, really really good for you and very low in the calorie department, with an added bonus of not feeling hungry for many hours after wards.
Superquinns are doing this see through plastic bucket of stuff called, Toasted Breakfast Cereal, from the Stable Diet company. Now, it's about four euros for the bucket and it weight 460 grammes. However you only need to use about three table spoons of it for breakfast and the bloody stuff is delicious. It's a combination of oat flakes, oat bran, sunflower seeds, coconut, almonds, walnuts, sun flower, and brown cane sugar. It's very very good. But if you mix it with a pot of natural yogurt, and some fruit the result is FANTASTIC!. Normally I like blueberries, but today I sliced up some strawberries to spoon through it. (Strawberries 6 euros for two large punnets. You only use about four strawberries per bowl so again it lasts for some time)
So
Some spoons of aforementioned cereal,
Natural yougurt.
Fresh fruit.
And voila! A good healthy hearty breakfast that was quicker to make than toast. I should point out the paramour, who is working from home today had a smoked bacon sambo while I had this.
Which leads me to my next section.

part-3Yesterday evening while shopping with aforementioned paramour, we paused a the meat counter in the aforementioned Superquinn to buy the aforementioned bacon.
Now there are varieties of bacon on display, streaky, smoked, maple backed Hickory and so on. We were going for the streaky-as it crisps up nicely.
'Which do you want?' Paramour said, peering through the glass. 'Smoky or normal?'
'I don't care.' I said helpfully. 'Get which ever one you like.'
'Hummm, I'll have a pound of the smoky please.' the paramour said to the much moustacheiod butcher dude behind the counter.
''Hurph. If you'd bought the other she's have been giving out to you when you brought it home.' Our delightful butcher. said, grabbing up chunk of smoky pork.
The paramour and I glanced up at him. 'No I wouldn't.' I said. 'I still wouldn't care.'
This for some reason offended afore mentioned butcher's testicles, causing them to wither up into his body.
'My guess is you'd never hear the end of it,' he persisted, making desperate eye-contact with the paramour.
'You guessed wrong then.' I said, with steely -eyed calm.
Once again he seemed to hear, 'Widdle woman, widdle, widdle." from far back in his frontal lobe.
'Huh.' He sealed our bacon. 'Good job you brought her with you anyway.' Quoth he.
'I didn't. She brought me.' The paramour said cheerfully, accepting his bacon with all the good grace he normally reserves for strange angry men who talk over his beloved and wear stripped pinnys. By this stage he had twigged the power struggle.
'I know my place.' He added joyously.
Our butcher, shot him the 'You're fucking ruining our club you smiley bastard,' look and stalked off to beat his chest, or torment old ladies or whatever it was he needed to do to reassert his place in the world. Perhaps he stalked the baggers, making cute comments on their breasts, who knows.
We went home and had spicy chicken wraps.
Then this morning the paramour, over his bacon sambo, informs me that he is going to buy a wii.
I think he's nuts, but also a gadget freak. So I salute him and am happy that he enjoys shit like that.
I know my place too.
And also, bacon, Kevin Bacon. All roads. Lead to. You have been warned.

Labels: , ,

61 Comments:

Blogger Kav said...

Heh, what a dickhead.

Why is the paramour going for a Wii? As someone with an interest in this are, I'm just curious as to the decision to go for that rather than one of the other two. I went for the Xbox360 myself.

12:00 p.m.  
Anonymous Macdara said...

So let me understand this , The paramour sticks up for you in a non argument with someone merely trying to be funny and for his effort he gets you to love him more, a crispy bacon Sambo breakfast and permission to buy a wii.

Sounds like a good deal to me.

12:37 p.m.  
Blogger aquaasho said...

What a plonker.

And I'm gonna get me some of that healthy breakfast gear, sounds great thanks!

Hope you're all set for your run on Monday! Best of Luck!

1:02 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Aisling, it's in Superquinn and it is absolutely blembelememem. I was thinking about the cost, but realistically a box of bloody cereal doesn't last more than a week anyway, so it's much of a much. Mix it with the Activia natural yogurt and some fruit and it's bloody delicious.
Machawtness, I even passed him the full fat butter and HP sauce.
Kav, I asked. And this is the answer. 'Idunnoit's got stuffnmuttermutter xboxnot much differenttoplaystations2mutttermuttercooln'stuffcoolnunchucksmuttermuttercool.'
At this point his eyes glazed over and he started drooling and I left him to it.
The dude (happy guy) in the shop in Rathmines even told him he could trade in old DVDs off the price of future games. cue, much more drooling.

1:12 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

Can't even insult you directly, FMC?
Lame.
The Paramour was right not to interfere. We can fight our own battles.
Your breakfast sounds tasty. I had cold pizza this morning which is not the healthiest way to start.

1:31 p.m.  
Blogger Kav said...

Tell him to think hard on't. I used that argument about the 360 not being much different from the PS2 for over a year, and all the while my friends are saying get one get one get one. No, says I, my PS2 will do me fine.

Then in a rush of flushness, I went and got one. I wasn't disappointed. There's an enormous gap between the two machines.

If it was me, the debate would be between the 360 and the Wii as well. The PS3 is an amazing console, but the developers are really struggling to code for its processor, so they aren't getting the most out of it. PS3 might be more viable in a couple of years when they've worked out how to develop software to the best of their ability.

So lahke ah says, Wii or 360, either's a safe bet, but for me, 360 is definitely the preferred option.

Says the random lad on the blog, like.

2:01 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

The paramour just thought it was funny the way yer man kept pushing the point. He reckons most folk can work out a rebuff once and leave it at that.
Cold pizza, eh? oooh there's nuthin' smuger than a gal who took time to make a healthy breakfast. Course I'm going out for Chinese tonight, so I"m sure I'll undo all the good work.
Kav! Too late, he's wii-ed up to the gizzard.

2:25 p.m.  
Blogger Fat Sparrow said...

I really wish people would get over those stupid gender assumptions. The Spouse Sparrow is the one that takes care of the Nestling Sparrow, for the most part (hey, I did it for the first 2 years, and now all he wants is his Da, the ungrateful fucker) and he and I both get weird looks for it, which is stupid. I mean, apart from breast-feeding, a man can take care of a baby/toddler as well as a woman, and just because I'm the mom doesn't mean that the pediatrician should automatically direct all questions at me.

Good on ya to your Paramour for poking at the bastard, that's what I say.

8:34 p.m.  
Blogger Rusticissimus maximus said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:58 p.m.  
Blogger Rusticissimus maximus said...

I'm proud to be able to say that I am one of the few NOT contributing to Europe's impending collective heart-attack!!

But being fit and healthy has its price too; I can never find clothes to fit me-everything's either size fat, fat-fat, or extra fat.

Men my size are not catered for, at least not in places that sell stuff that DOESNT look like a gay builders' new spring/summer collection.

Should I struggle on in custom sized burlap or request a loyalty card from my local McDonalds?

9:00 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

What's happened to the Greeks? I thought we were all meant to be eating like them!

1:32 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Struggle on RM struggle on, wear tight t-shirts and nicely fitted jeans, send photos.

9:56 a.m.  
Blogger Gerry said...

The wii is a great invention, boxing on wii sports will replace all those fighting classes you miss

10:03 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

That's true Gerry, I already have a pain in my shoulder from a weekend of playing wii tennis. It's bloody great craic!

12:58 p.m.  
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