Wednesday, May 23, 2007

An argument.

I've a lot of shit to do today work wise. So bearing this in mind I got up rather early and took my complaining arse off to the gym for a run. It was ghastly and despite my best puce-faced effort I still have not mastered 10K in under one hour, close but no cigar.
No matter, gasping and heaving, I weaved back to the near empty changing rooms and had a long shower-lathering my hair not once but twice, bliss.
Upon heading back to my locker I heard what I thought to be raised voices. Strange, thought I, but I proceeded and when I finally reached my destination I could clearly hear a very vocal full blown argument coming from the row of lockers directly behind mine.
'I'm telling you, you always take her side. It's so ridiculous.'
'I'm not taking her side, but she didn't do anything wrong.'
'HE WAS MARRIED!!'
'They'd split up.'
'They were still married.'
'Oh please, they were separated.'
'So!, They could have waited. Would you like someone to do that to you?'
'No, but he wanted kids and she didn't. She LIED to him.'
'She said she did.'
'Well! If she said she did why didn't she have them.'
'Maybe she didn't realise she was on a fucking timer.'
'Or HELLO, maybe she just didn't want them.'
Yeah right, but that other bitch suddenly pops one out, even after she said all along she didn't want kids either.'
'PEOPLE CAN CHANGE THEIR MINDS YOU KNOW!'

And so on, I dried my toes and dressed as the battle raged, fascinated by what I was hearing. What lives other people live, so passionate, so soap opera-esque.
I slipped on my t-shirt and took my lock off the door. The argument was reaching it's apogee. The voices were shrill and cracking the language more verbose, until finally one of them yelled.
'LOOK Brad and Angie have fucking moved on right, maybe you should just let it go.'
'I HAVE let it go!' The other one replied, in a ohnoihaven't tone.' But I still think they're fucking scumbags!'
I slammed my locker door and reversed. I looked around the corner at two startled women, in their early twenties, still half in and half out of their street clothes.
'You're very loud.' I said. They glared at me. I hoisted my bag up onto my shoulder and walked towards the door.
I had just reached it when I heard.
'Who the FUCK does she think she is?'

Who indeed.

Labels:

22 Comments:

Anonymous eva said...

Hahahahahaha - thanks for the first BIG laughter of the day :-)
In fact, I can't stop HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Excellent stuff!

10:20 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It was unreal, they were fighting about these people like they were family, or personal friends or something. Do people really care that much about hollywood actors? what they get up to and with whom? Unreal.
Right, back to it.

11:03 a.m.  
Blogger Manuel said...

Ok, Fatmammycat, thats what phones with cameras are for.

11:28 a.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

I enjoy Hollywood gossip, too, but get a fucking grip.
Wasn't it 3 years ago? How is this important?

11:57 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

O tempora o mores!
At least neither of them handbagged the other with... 'They were on a BREAK!'

11:58 a.m.  
Blogger Caro said...

That's HILARIOUS, I'm still laughing my arse off...

1:33 p.m.  
Blogger Kav said...

I'm assuming your tone of voice when you said "You're very loud" carried the subtext "what I really mean is, you're fuckin eejits". I'll be disappointed if it didn't.

1:56 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Ha! That's hilarious!

It's just as well they go to the gym: with tempers like that over that, unexercised hearts could easily fail when something serious comes along - say, tomorrow's election.

From what the UK press are saying, it seems Bertie's got it. From what the blogs are saying, this is bad, right?

2:36 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oh it was really something, try to think of a singing Bonnie Tyler fighting with Rosie Perez and you get the picture.
I mean seriouly, how can people invest so much emotion into what some movie folk get up to?

3:07 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Sam, they were exactly the sort of folk that could have done with a quick beheading. Swink Lop, Swink Lop.

3:09 p.m.  
Anonymous Bonnie said...

As if I wasn't laughing hard enough, I came to the last of the Comments and saw "Swink Lop. Swink Lop" and I completely lost it. I'll be bursting out in uncontrollable giggles all day over that one. And I'm sitting in an empty office today - that won't look strange, will it?

5:05 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Not even a tini-tiny liddy bit.

5:15 p.m.  
Blogger Fat Sparrow said...

Aaaaarrrrgh! You got me! I really wasn't expecting that, and yes, I'm still laughing.

11:09 p.m.  
Anonymous Carolyn said...

Heeeee hee hee, that's very funny. Silly girls and their silly words.

12:43 a.m.  
Blogger Binty McShae said...

Shit like that never ceases to amaze me...

3:03 a.m.  
Anonymous Primal Sneeze said...

I mean seriously, how can people invest so much emotion into what some movie folk get up to?

I've seen grown men cry when a fekin soccer team loses. A foreign soccer team at that. I never understood how people can get so emotional about anything they aren't directly involved in.

7:10 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Hmmmnn, I too have witnessed dudes getting very emotional over football. But I understand that better, they follow a team-possibly from youth- and it's a battle of skill and it can be frustrating and raw. This was different, the way these two were going at it seemed very personal. LIke they were personally involved. Most odd.

Binty! Hello fellow cogger. Good to hear from you.

8:52 a.m.  
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