Wednesday, June 13, 2007

The mother of all combinations!

Oh praise Chulthua! And double praise Dlisted for finding these nutjobs. I'm sending this to my mother immediately! Immediately I say. Oh it's too too perfect. I'm almost spluttering with joy. Finally, something she can use 'til the end of days. Oh Etheline's gonna crack up, this shit is too...I'm almost at a loss. Where's Kim Ayres when you need him?
Follow the link, follow the yellow brick link.



Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

That woman they show show on the beach has forgotten that Jesus is carrying her through this tough time and so she doesn't weigh a thing. Of course, His footsteps might be 4 inches deep and a bit staggery as a consequence.

But you know, she's going about weight loss in all the right ways: standing about and using your thoughtful-looking muscles is a great way to jump-start your faith-based metabolism.

10:34 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Seriously, the amazing arrogance of these people. Like, it's one thing to believe in Jesus, but another to think that despite the fact that there's war and death and violence raging all over the planet, Jesus is just sitting there going, 'Now hun, put down that cheesecake. Pick a diet drinki, D_I_E_T! Oh Yes Praise me!'

11:00 a.m.  
Anonymous benders said...

God's concerned about her weight but not her 80's hair?
And when you watch her do you think Gillian McKeith with faith and a twang?

11:37 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I do indeed! Ugh, that McKeith one give me the hibbie jibbies, I believe she has had to remove the Doctor foorm her professional name.
There'e one born (again) every day I swear it.

11:40 a.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I believe in a God of sorts because the universe is so beautiful. I don't believe he's listening though, nor ever was. And I just cannot believe in a personal God that will melt the fat off a Western housewife's hips but never allow an ounce to gather on the bones of a starving African.

12:13 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Tsk tsk you unbelievers... it's 2007, we can all have our own personal Jesus/trainer

12:25 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Silly old Sam, that's because you're aware of folk other than yourself.*

* shakes head at Sam. Makes fresh coffee, watches rain.

Conan, Depeche Mode says I can, we can all reach out and touch faith!

12:28 p.m.  
Blogger Annie Rhiannon said...

That is one complicated website. I still don't understand what it's all about.

12:55 p.m.  
Blogger Kim Ayres said...

Who needs Chocolate and Pizza when you have God? It all sounds pretty straight forward to me.

God gave us cravings to tempt us away from him...oh, hang on a sec, that's Satan who tempts us away from God... but God created Satan, so Satan must be doing God's bidding... but God also created the coco plant... and tomatoes, and mozarella and pepperoni... or was that Satan...

I find myself thinking once again, I wonder if Eve was a Size Zero?

1:13 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Arrogance is right! Jesus is nowhere to be found when I'm staring down a Guinness and a packet of salt and vinegar potato chips - but then, in all the pictures, he looks like he could use a sandwich.

Kim, if Eve existed, she was a big, strapping bint with enormous ta-ta's and hips the size of a minivan.

And Adam went 'humuna humuna humuna...'

2:48 p.m.  
Anonymous Ian said...

I have already found my 'natural, God-given hunger and fullness cues.'

I was hungry. I ate. I'm full. And now I'm going to have some more fucking chocolate. Praise the Lord.

3:05 p.m.  
Blogger The Swearing Lady said...

"There is a growing army of permanently thin people..."

Fuck me, it sounds like the blurb for the next Steven King novel.

Did you and Kim know that Kym Ayres is an up-and-coming hard house DJ?

3:49 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

For all we know that could be our Kim Ayres and that's why he's feeling tired a lot, split personality see, like that terrible blonde murderous filly from Heros.
I went out for luch, I had chilli prawn salad, and no cheese cake at all. Praise the lawrd!

5:44 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

aiii--eet biatches, paaady time, don't wait up.
Mwoah -mwoah.

8:44 p.m.  
Blogger Sassy Sundry said...

That scared me.

9:33 p.m.  
Blogger The Swearing Lady said...

Are you aware, though, that Kym Ayres is a gurl?

You were? Oh.

8:44 p.m.  
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