Monday, June 11, 2007

Child savaged by dangerous dog.

Another child has been brutally savaged by a dangerous dog. This poor child was minding its own businesss when this monster turned and- without any provocation -launched its furious attack.
I'm outraged, I'm going to ring all the radio stations and complain about these devil dogs. How can we -Joe Public- be safe when these beasts are allowed to live near us!? It's an outrage, they should be muzzled at all times-yes, even when asleep, how do you know they are asleep anyway? They could just be pretending to sleep while in reality they're hatching a nefarious plot to find and savage a child. They should be wearing wearing shock collars and be under supervision AT ALL TIMES!!!!
They're not to be trusted, this eeeeveeel breed, they could turn any second, savage they are, everybody knows that. Look at the damage they do. Outraged! I think I read -somewhere one time once a long time ago somewhere- that they were bred for fighting, AHA!
Where is my number for Joe Duffy, for Oral (that's right) Barry, where did I put it? I want these devil dogs destroyed, I want them moved to an island somewhere, away from us people, away from civilized society, what sort of person keeps these anyway????? Oh yeah, we know the sort, of course we do. Acting all tough and stuff, we're totally on to you.

Oh and some boy was attacked by two rottweilers yesterday too, but no one seems to be getting upset about that one. You know? No hysterics, no...Oh no wait, I could be lying.



Blogger The Swearing Lady said...

YEAH! I CONCUR. MiniMe was attacked viciously by our vet's cat on a number of occasions, yet NOTHING was done about it.

11:46 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

A cat! I knew it, they should all be muzzled and wearing shock collars and be declawed immediately. They're dangerous, and could turn on you any second. There's one sleeping on my lap right now but I know she's really just waiting until I'm distracted and then she's going to try smother me.

12:01 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

Yeah, it's like Paulie said last night: you can't trust those cats, they'll steal the breath from a baby.

12:14 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

That's becoz they's eeevvilll, devil animals.
Man, you should hear the crap coming out of some people's mouths on Brenda Power's show. Ban all dogs? reeee-ight, why don't we ban cars and booze while we're at it, a cigarettes, oh no wait, we're working on that one.

12:21 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Our children are safer now those two devil dogs have been exterminated.

But beware, there's someone out there selling goldfish crossed with pirahnas. These so-called pirfish are a threat to humankind, and children everywhere. Be warned, they can be gold/mottled in colour, and they have fins and a tail. They can be found in bowls, jars or small bags at so-called funfairs.

1:03 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I heard about deadly dolphins crossed with bees or beephins as they are known as, but this sounds even more terrifying. To whom should I call to express my outrage? And naturally all fish should be banned, I think that goes without saying.

1:25 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Damn right, missus!

And what's goin' on with Dragonflies for gawd's sake!? The garden's full of them, I can't venture out for the mini napalm death squads zooming about. Where's the DDT when you need it? Where's Matthew McConaughy?

2:17 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oiling up on a beach somewhere I'd wager, shirtless and sweating and rippling and probably giving some serious consideration to naked bongo playing.
At a push that's what I'd guess.

2:20 p.m.  
Blogger Willie_W said...

I was bitten by a gerbil once. On the fingernail.

A Welsh border collie objected to me twisting its tail and bit me. It also bit me when I tried to take its bone away. Loved that dog.

Radio news yesterday said the dogs escaped from a "secure" area. Not very secure then.

Good thoughts to the young fella on his recovery, whether or not society is being hysterical over the now deceased doggies.

5:12 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Don't get me wrong Willie, I feel very sorry for the little lad and wish him a speedy recovery, it's the wailing and gnashing of teeth that chaps my hide, that and the usual hysterical talk radio junkies.
Yep on the collies front, it t'was a collie that almost made me lose an ear as a nipper. MInd you I was banging the back off him at the time.

6:23 p.m.  
Blogger Willie_W said...

Self defense in my and your case both, I think.

Gnashing of teeth following gnashing of teeth. It's okay, I got that bit. :-) People *do* need the occasional torches and pitchforks moment to help them get over the idea of the horror, I think. Doesn't make it any more coherent or less irritating, but I think it's understandable.

I may have had too much to drink in the middle of the day yesterday. It might explain this new-found peace and love vibe.

6:40 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

I just caught Sweary's use of conCUR.
Boy, I'm slow today.

6:44 p.m.  
Blogger The Swearing Lady said...

Nah, I didn't even get that myself.

Christ, I'm clever.

1:37 a.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Once, as a baby, I was put down to nap in a room in my granny's house. Her cat sat on my head and when my uncle came to check on me and took the cat off my lips and eyelids were blue and I wasn't even a punkrocker baby.

In some ways I wish a vengeance - a mild one, even - had been wreaked on the cat by my loving adult caregivers, but no. She was a good mouser.

5:48 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Those dogs weren't just back from a holiday in Portugal, were they?

3:23 p.m.  

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