Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Bullies/murderers and feral children.

It is seldom that I am moved to tears-other than tears of fury- by the Brenda Power show, but god damn it, I was moved today.
There was a woman on called Collete, whose teenage daughter Leanne killed herself after years of relentless bullying. It was very hard to listen to her story, but listen I did and I was shocked to say the least.
These bullies pulled Leanne's hair, ripping patches from her head with such force they left bald patches. They blackened her eye, they destroyed her car her dad had bought her for her birthday, egging it and covering it with flour, they spread vicious rumours about her, shaming the girl horribly. It seems to have been sustained, prolonged and vicious.
The mother was very brave and very firm, she tried to approach the bullies, she approached the mother of the main bully and was told she was wrong. She is angry, but the heartbreak in her voice was clear.
She read some of the things her daughter had written in her diary and what that poor girl wrote was so hopeless and despairing that it horrified me. To think that any girl at 15/16/17 should suffer so much for no reason is beyond my scope of understanding. Her mother said at the end, even the smallest things hurt her daughter, the bullies had broken her down so much. And then Leanne reached the point where she didn't think she could go on with the torture. She texted her mam and dad that night, telling them they were the best parents any girl could have and she loved them. Then she killed herself.

Across the water this morning, the parents of Rhys Jones are also reeling form the loss of a child. Football-mad Rhys was murdered last Wednesday in Croxteth, Liverpool. His parents.Melanie and Stephen said they were shocked to learn his bike-riding killer is thought to be between just 13 and 15 years old.
This little boy who was shot in cold blood as he walked home from football practice.

"The mother of Rhys Jones yesterday blamed the parents of his killer for her son's murder.
Melanie Jones accused the gunman's mother of bringing her child up to have no respect for others.
She said the 11-year-old was shot dead because the woman did not care what her own son was up to or who he was with.
Mrs Jones, 41, added that the killer's parents lack the courage to turn him in."

Country gay lives in a estate, it's small private and well maintained with a mix of families. It's a lovely street, or rather it would be if not for one family. This family have three children, girls, and these kids are out day and night. They trample flowerbeds, call people names, put bottles under the wheels of cars and terrorize an Indian man who lives alone, by ringing his door bell day and night. They are fearless, they are rude, their language is unreal, they are little monsters, they are under the age of ten. The smallest one- who can be no more than five- is the worst, she has ABSOLUTELY no fear of anyone and will be a complete vicious bitch in another few years and you can be sure she'll be a total bully-she is now, but when she's bigger she'll be better.

I don't know what is is that makes parents lose interest in their children, what makes them not care what they're children are up to, what makes them defend their children's actions even when it is clear that their children are causing pain, discomfort and misery for others. I really don't get it. If someone had gone to my parents house to complain about me I'd have been in so much trouble...If someone came to my home to complain about my children I'd be mortified and my children facing some serious questions about their behaviour.
When did kids get this power? When did they become so aggressive and fearless? I told the smallest one of those kids to get the hell of CG's flowers last week and she did, but slowly and with a lot of cheek. The fact that she knows I can't drop kick her out of his garden probably has a lot to do with her attitude.
Little monsters grow to be bigger monsters. Children need boundries, they need rules and regulations, They need to know they can rely on parents but also that parents are not there to cover for them. Respect and social conscience needs to be instilled in the young from an early age. To ignore this is to ignore it at our peril.



Anonymous Tobywan said...

Update on said cul de sac - one of the neighbours is so sick of the brats she has requested the corpo to move her to another house in a different area. Set the dogs on them - pity I don't have a trained pest killer, mine only chases sqirrels (apparently!)

10:47 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

He knows his place in the world, we should all be so lucky.

11:01 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Lookit, don't be going so hard on the parents... it's all they can do to be keeping up with the Big Brother goings on, and X Factor, and all those wonderful reality TV shows they compulsively watch. The girls will all be pregnant in a few years anyway, it may cramp their style... a little.

ps re Tobywan's comment - I take it it's a Corpo estate becoming privatised? This is where the Celtic Tigger meets the wild west... fascinating place I'd say.

11:20 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It is, but it's lovely street marred by one family. Which is more common than you'd think according to another of my pals who lives out towards Mulhuddert.
My point was that if the parents don't give a damn then the children won't give a damn about anything either.
The little girl will be in jail in a few years, or CEO of a vast empire, one or the other.

11:23 a.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

The little girl will be in jail in a few years, or CEO of a vast empire, one or the other.

She could also be a hopeless junkie and her scabby, covered in sores body could be found in a doorway somewhere.

You always have to look for the positives.

11:42 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

I once, not too far back, lived in such a place. A house acquired c1990 for £25k from the council rent/purchase scheme is now worth €400k. There was a 'family' there too. Lots of late night squad cars and ambulances, but they knew better than to mess with the neighbours.

11:44 a.m.  
Blogger Orfhlaith said...

Very sad, about Leanne, and horrifying about the other brats. I have seen the way some kids talk back to teachers/employees at my sons' school and it is disgusting. Kids feel very entitled these days! I have to say, though, I've had american mothers call me after my children (different mothers, different times) have been on a play date to congratulate me on their behaviour and manners! Now, if only I could get them to behave like that at home, LOL. I dunno, pepper spray seems like a good alternative, especially if someone is trespassing on MY property!

12:47 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I was thinking a taser might help too.
No but really, when confronted in this day an age with outright defiance it is very hard to know what to do. Like I say, you can't just give them a slap around the ear these days, not without being very sued or worse, arrested for assault.
I remember a few months ago telling this great big lump of a lad of about 14 to take his goddamn filthy feet off the seat on the bus. And you should have seen the look he gave me, fortunately I can look just as mean so he did what I asked. But he gave me the finger-after he got off naturally. Why? Because someone had the gall to tell him his behaviour was unacceptable.

1:13 p.m.  
Anonymous Nonny said...

You are right FMC, their animals. Parents are trying to compensate for what they didn't have, they are creating monsters. They have no fear because there are no consequences. My friend lives in Crumlin, which is quite nice but again one family are creating havoc a couple of weeks ago one of the older brats through a marble at her car as she and her three week old baby pulled out of the garden, it went straight through the back window, thankfully baby was ok, the brats mother told her to fuck off.

1:18 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

You're joking! See, that's what I bloody mean. Instead of telling the child off and letting the child know that her behaviour is dangerous and out of line she defends the child and lets it know its behaviour is sanctioned. Will she be boo-hooing on the Joe Duffy in a few years time, whinging that she can't control her kids and they've no respect for authority? Of course.

1:27 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

Ever notice that the reason that parents do not intercede is because they are or were bullies themselves? They love to see their kids terrorizing others and view the victims as "weak" or deserving of the torment.

1:40 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Right, I agree. But I do wonder, when faced with out and out defiance what can a person do if the parents are not willing to do a thing to curb their child's actions?

1:47 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

God be with the days when you could give the shinners a shout and a bit of heavy leaning would be done. And if that didn't work...

2:13 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oh Conan, don't even go there...
right ho, I'm off to the gym, today's gruelling work out consists of a 400m lunge walk. I may hurl. Or fall over. One of those.

2:15 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

:) jayz, come back here, Missus. Can I not get even a bit of a rise out of you?

400m? 400m?? Is that all? That can't be hard

2:24 p.m.  
Anonymous Nonny said...

We even called the POlice who where about as much use as a cock flavoured lollypop. Her brat denied it, Gards said their hands where tied. I thought to myself if nothing else has the mother no empathy. That night someone stole the little brat’s petrol scooter. I for one was shocked and to see him shed real tears two days later was, well quite moving!!!

PS Conan you are right, bring back the belt

2:50 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Yikes, Conan, that's a whole lot tougher than you might think. 'Bout 370-to 400 lunges.
Nonny, I"m sure you were deeply DEEPLY moved.

5:04 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

What's a 'lunge'? A sort of 'Have at thee!', without a sword, perhaps? Or does it involve a horse and a length of rope?

5:55 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Stand with your two feet together, then step forward using one leg. Keeping the lead foot good and straight and flat, bend leading knee at right angle and allow knee of trailing leg to touch the ground, straighten, step legs together, and repeat using other leg as lead. Keep your back as straight as possible, Don't bed forward, hands on hip if it helps your balance, continue for 400 metres. See how you feel afterwards. Bring a mobile phone in case you need someone to come collect you.
Let me know how you get on.

6:04 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Ah, so it is the Errol Flynn style lunge... or the Inigo Montoya one, if you prefer. Finding 400m flat enough hereabouts will be tough but I'll give it a go.

6:17 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

ps as a reciprocal gesture you can get a scythe and work your way clearing 100m of 'long acre'. Great for the back and shoulders.

6:20 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

GO way out of that. I mowed the meadows/lawn here over the last week and trimmed back the hedges. I'll be damned if I so much as cut a flowerfor a vase for the next two weeks. Stupid bloody bushes, how they taunt me so. If I look out over the top of my computer I think I can actually see them growing.

6:23 p.m.  
Anonymous Primal Sneeze said...

When did kids get this power? When did they become so aggressive and fearless?

When the practice of good arse-kickings ceased. When clips around the ears ceased. When slaps on the hands ceased.

Before anyone comes down on me for saying that, just think back to your own childhood. Think. You got the odd wallop. The next time you did wrong your mum/dad explained to you why it was wrong. You listened. When you stopped listening you got another quick clatter.

Physically it never hurt (much) but you learned.

8:04 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I wouldn't disagree with that Sneezy, completely. But I would say that I had the utmost respect for my father and he never raised a hand to me, ever. Yet if he said, 'I'm very disappointed in you.' I would be utterly crushed, for days probably, whereas my mother would hop off all of us on a regular basis and never earned the same respect.
I think it's becasue we weren't let away with ANYTHING. If we didn't say please or thank you we'd be in trouble. If we got presents we wrote thank you card and made thank you phonecalls, we called people Mr. And Mrs, we didn't go into folk's homes uninvited. I suppose it was just how we were brought up.
I genuinely believe most of the bratty feral kids are spoiled overindulged and yet neglected by their parents. It sounds a strange blend, but I think it fits.
I wonder how Conan got on with the lunges? They really are far more difficult than people give them credit.

8:15 p.m.  
Blogger Bock the Robber said...

I used to try and understand these poor underprivilieged people. Now I'm with the putting-their-windows-in brigade.

You know it makes sense. The arrogant fuckers.

9:23 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Yes,I see where you're going with that Bock, and I did think about giving that young one a toe in the hole the other day, but then I thought, fuck, what if I just make CG's life more miserable for him?
It's tricksy. Scum bags would think nothing of retaliation.

9:46 p.m.  
Anonymous Pinkie said...

They have no fear. They are not afraid of a single thing in the world. They are not afraid of being in trouble because what is the worst you can do? Give out to them? Deprive them of somethign for a set period of time? That wont work -- kids have too many rights if you'll pardon how cruel that sounds, but they do.

You can't smack a child because they'll have you wrung out as being an abuser.

I'm a tour guide and had a group of kids from a youth project on my tour there a few weeks ago - little DEMONS they were. I asked the leaders to keep them in check and was asked 'how are we meant to predict what they'll do?'
And the kids ruled the roost. Little bastards. Ended up having to eject them from the tour and the abuse that was hurled at me and my driver was not funny. They followed us chasing down the road hittin the side of the bus and threatening us all teh while.
Then you know what? They rang up and complained about us.

There is the ideal of behaviour those kids all just got. Behave the way you want, act like rabid beasts, threaten, abuse and demean who you want to and we'll stick right by you making sure no one tells you not to do what you want to do.

Load of bullshit really.

Man I've rambled. Sorry bout that!

11:49 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It's all good baby, let it out.

11:51 p.m.  
Anonymous madnessburgers said...

Im late to this and will probably give an unpopular opinion but what if the kids are acting out cos they're having the shit kicked out of them at home? Then it would seem terrible to have more people after them wherever they go.I never acted out as a kid cos my parents spent every spare minute with me, not giving me stuff but talking and playing. Its that, more than being given out to, that makes me the person I am today. It might help if someone actually talked to them and asked them why they want to cause so much destruction and if they're ok. I'm not excusing their actions or the anguish they cause their neighbours, just offering an alternative possibility.

6:52 p.m.  
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