Happy bleeding day! (this post may contain swear words)
Celebrate being a girl? Because I bleed?
Firstly I ain't no girl I'm a woman, and secondly why would that make me celebrate? I didn't have any say in the matter. Do men celebrate being men? Do toads celebrate being toads? No, they just fucking well are what they are.
I mean seriously, are they fucking kidding me? Who the hell are they trying to fool? What woman in her right mind goes, 'YEAHHHH PERIOD DAY!" (unless she was worried about 'the change' or pregnancy) time to celebrate being a woman?'
I notice in their coping tripe there is not a single mention of 'taking a handful of painkillers and gulping them down with a glass of lukewarm water', oh no, not rosy and smiley enough.
Herbal tea? HERBAL TEA?
Maybe I should just go the fuck to a pet store and buy two Dalmations and get them to pull me along a boardwalk somewhere sunny while I wear in-line skatezz and WHITE FUCKING SHORTS to show how happy I am that the lining of my womb and whatever fucking egg I didn't get fertilized is sloughing painfully out. I mean, it makes women happy, right? RIGHT? I can strap up my sore breasts and do yoga, maybe rub my bloated and swollen stomach and eat chocolate, ooooohhh yeah, that will make it all worth while. UUUUU go me! Fuck the back ache and the backwards typing, maybe hang-gliding would make me enjoy happy time all the more.
DEAR ALWAYS, shove it up yer ronson. You know fucking what, women get periods all the bloody time, one a month in fact, it's part of who we are, we don't fucking fall apart when we get them, despite them being a HUGE pain in the arse. We don't need to resort to spoiling our pretty little selves, laughing, drinking herbal tea and sleeping in watching old movies while consuming buckets loads of chocolate. And the sooner you lot get your fat heads around that and governments stop taxing the fuck out of sanitary towels and tampons the fucking better.
Labels: pain and pissy.