Monday, August 06, 2007

Transformers! A fatcat review.

Transformers: A short and spoiler free review.


'What the fuck? Baby daughter? Oh ahahahah, Marines don't curse.'
Verump! Love you honey! Boom! Verump! SUPER HELLA BOOM!Verump! SMASH BOOM BOOM!
'Cooooooool, did you see that paramour? It was a sonic boom!! Look at the tanks, see how they...wooooooaaahhhh!'
Verump!
'IT'S UNDER THE SAND!!!!'
Boom, bang bang bang, Urgh.
"LOOK OUT! this popcorn is yicky. I'm gonna call it poopcorn. Golly, you're very fucking stoned."
Verump!
"Is Jon Voight in every film out now?'
'Heee heee, he's funny, Perez hates him but fuck Perez, she's no Angelina,'
VERUMPPPPFUCKINPPPPPPPPP,
'Weeeeeeeee, it's not a car! We should have got chewy snakes, I love them.'
'I should have got M&Ms.'
VERUMP!
'Presto chango!!!! "Transformers Robots in Disguise!!!"
'Honey stop singing.'
I AM OPTIMUS PRIME!
'HE IS OPTIMUS PRIME NEMESIS OF MEGATRON!!!"
'Honey, shusssh!'
'IT"S IN YOUR PHONE!!!"
'SHUUUUSH!"
'Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'
'Hey look, that's fucking cool!'
VERUMPPPPPPPPPP!
'Weeeeee'
Crash,wallops, heee heeee.
Verumph.
Get the glasses! Quick! Offer to kill the small dog.
'That's like Toffee/Poppy's Big surprise!'
Verumph!
'John Tuturro! Whaaaaaaaa?'
Whaaaaaarrrraammmpph!
Weeeeeeeee
Blam, slam explosion!
'He's mean! Get back to the Cohen brothers' you filthy bum! They've done the Cormac McCarthy's bloody book you know!'
'Shusssssh.'
'Weee, don't give up BUMBLEBEE! WE LOVE YOU! Why would a robot have eyelashes?'
Let's go to the super secret base camp with these nobodies.
Oh oh, Megatron's pissed!
Run!
Fight! Fight! Shoot Shoot, type type!
VERRUMPH!
RUNNNNN!!!!!
'DON"T TEAR HIM IN TWO YOU BULLYYYYYWAHHHHHHH!'
KIsssy kisssy,
VERUMPH!
Fight to somebody's death,
'URGH, THAT DROP IS MAKING ME SICK!"
'Shuuush!'
BIKE STUNT? JUMP SHARK????? WHO CAN SAY????
'Did you know he's going out with Fergie from Black Eyed Peas? Bleee, HOLY SHIT! IT"S FALLING!'
VERUMPH!!!!!
'Weeeee, noble speeches suck, who the fuck cares, bring back the sounds!'
Urgh, KIssy kissy,
'NOT THOSE SOUNDS!'
noble speech.
AWESOME!!!!!
"This is the worst popcorn ever. Where's the car again?'
'I thought you were going to call it poopcorn?'
'What's with the spirit fingers?"
'That was some good grass.'
'Awesome.'
'It is the only way to see films.'

Labels:

21 Comments:

Blogger Fat Sparrow said...

Hahahahahahaha!

No, wait, I had something to say....

No I didn't...

Hahahahahaha! Best film review ever!

9:46 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

That good? Meself and herself are deffo going this week...

10:30 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I loved it. I love big explosions and loud bangs and ridiculous plot. I love films like this, that aren't trying to be anything else but total entertaining pap. The opening three minutes-after the marine goody goody talk- had me and the paramour going...'woooahhhh.'
There were some laugh out loud stuff and if you can ignore the noble talk it's very very amusing.
Not high art, but entertaining, that's what I want sometimes. You know, total tripe.

The paramour's making me go to the Simpson's movie next week ( I still owe him from History of Violence, even though I've picked at least ten movie he's enjoyed since, but that one sucked so VELLY badly he claims I still owe him two more choices of film, damn it) I only hope it's as amusing, then Bourne, which looks AWESOME!

10:45 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

You know that Cronenberg film is seriously underated, no really! Bourne will be fab, and DH 4.0 was most excellently super silly, with requisite Brucie bloodied-but-unbowed-in-a-skanky-t-shirt, and an FBI Johnson joke.

11:04 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I loved DH4, especially when he kicked that vicious bitch down the elevator shaft. I believe I went, 'Whoooo!"

11:21 a.m.  
Anonymous MacDara said...

Is the new bourne movie out ? Fantastic something to do when I get back home. I really am getting tored of the Sun.

1:17 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

17th! Shut it as well.

1:19 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

Wonderful review, FMC!

But on a side note, I try to avoid PH altogether. His level of fame is without merit when he has half the talent of Michael K.

2:44 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oh PH makes me ill, he's a rejected spawn. Michael is my bitch hero.

3:55 p.m.  
Blogger The Hangar Queen said...

Excellent review.I went to see it twice and loved it as well.Best line was John T's
" Criminals are HAWT"

6:48 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

haha, yes I laughed at that too, plus he was delightfully droll and over the top at the same time, only he and Gary Oldman can really pull that sort of thing off.

7:38 p.m.  
Blogger Flirty Something said...

and to think I almost didn't go - brill!

8:35 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Was there grass in your version Flirty?

8:49 p.m.  
Blogger PI said...

I don't think I've seen that one. Can't swear mind.

9:23 p.m.  
Blogger Monstee said...

HAHAHA!! Great review FMC!!

Although... me not so sure if you was reviewing movie or grass... but hey, whatever.
It sounded great to me!

8:04 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Who can say, my little furry friend, really, who can say? All I know was me likey.

8:44 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oils, beverages and Paleo sweets should also be used
in moderate quantities and also keep in mind that
Paleo diet food list does not contain in it all processed foods made out
of dairy products, powdered milk, ice creams, cereal grains and legumes and
should be avoided. The fact is, most grains are quite high in
glycemic index, meaning that they make your blood sugar go up
rapidly, and send you crashing down soon thereafter.
- Vegetables are low in sodium less water retention.

Here is my web page; the paleo diet and ms

2:26 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DJ spins out on Saturday nights. Popular prizes include sports tickets, cash and vouchers for drinks, food - and dollars off of tabs.
The buccal cavity is a small cavity that has neither jaws nor teeth.


Here is my web site; pub quiz and answers general knowledge
Also see my page - easy pub quiz and answers

8:49 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They buy Twitter followers as Twitter is an effective marketing platform as much as
it is a social networking media. They even offer a $10 discount sometimes, which is
a hefty sum, from the regular price, via coupon codes.
com as they follow all Twitter Guidelines and your account will not get
suspended.

my site; http://socialbears.com/twitter-followers/

11:06 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Password protection is an ideal way to protect sensitive information you prefer only those authorized
have access to. (US). This is not always something that brides or grooms
have time to put together on their own.

Also visit my web site; wedding website affiliate program
my web site > wedding website affiliate programs

3:51 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Upon returning to the starting line, the first player must pass the sugar
cube to the next teammate in line and so on. This was zero cost because the
students went to local stores and asked for either donations and gift cards to purchase these items.
Now, one of my co-workers was applying to the Secret Service and I knew that I was down
as a reference for her.

my page Las Vegas cheap flights

12:59 p.m.  

Post a Comment

<< Home