Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Delightful pleasures can be pretty cheap.

There are many things in life that bring me pleasure. Rum, sex, concerts, buttery toast, beans on toast, finishing a run, mashed potato with gravy, sleeping in an extra half hour in a warm bed, not answering the phone, not listening to jazz, reading that James Rand has exposed that fucking baby whispering freak Derek Ogilvie as yet another woo woo fraud.
All these things are a delight. But they are a sort of everyday delight, not to detract from them of course, few things can be more delightful than not answering a phone WHILE eating buttery toast. But some delights are more delightful than others and I want to share one with you.
This delight is so utterly delightful that that no matter how glum my day it puts me into good humour.
I am devoted drinker, but owing to my unwillingness to become a raving alcoholic I must harness my devotion and take long and tedious breaks from my beloved hooch. I will gaze fondly at my drinks globe and sigh heavily. Not today beloved rum, don't look at me like that wine, oh honey bee ale, I miss you too. This sort of crying will go on for much of the week. It's hearbreaking, rather like I've sent alcohol off to boarding school, but a weekly board, not one of those crazy places where people don't see their offspring any more than four times a year, I mean what the fuck is up with that? Why bother having children at all if you're going to ship them to an educational prison. What's that ma? Boarding school is character building. Well you must be right, after all the character they built rendered me half cracked. Oh not that kind of character, that wasn't what you were aiming for? Oh, I see.
FAIL!
ANYHOO
On occasion, when the time is right- it should be stormy outside. There should be howling winds and lashing rain, there should be a fire, or at the very least turn the central heating right up- I like to pull the curtains, fling some ice into a glass, crack open a bottle of baileys, slice some carrots into strips, add some humus, get into my most comfiest of jammies, grab Puddy and position myself in front of my computer... and watch cartoons.
Yep, cartoons.
Not Tom and Jerry cartoons, cartoons like Spawn, Earthworm Jim and Aeon Flux and X men. Yes folks, in my darkest and cheeriest hours I am nothing more than a filthy nerd. A mildly drunken filthy nerd, but a nerd none the less.
This habit of mine confuses the life out of the paramour, but the paramour plays X-box which confuses the life out of me, so we have reached a peaceful bridge.
Baileys, cartoons, cat, heat, try it, you cannot but enjoy it.
That you probably don't bother mentioning to chumlies, lest they make the L sign at you?
Hum? Fess up.

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74 Comments:

Anonymous sheepworrier said...

Some of the newer Marvel/DC cartoons are pretty good too (spiderman, batman, etc), but for some reason I've found that Shaun the Sheep cracks me up everytime. Sad, I know.
My only excuse is that I babysit alot. Honestly!

11:34 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love Malcolm in the middle!! (the show not he boy) The father makes me laugh loud every time I see him! There that feels better.. aahhhh

11:39 a.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

The list is endless, I tell you.

A purring cat on the lap on a cold, rainy Sunday afternoon, with a big glass of wine and a book, or even some escapist movie. A hot cider with Captain Morgan's and cinnamon. Finding a clean bathroom when you're on the road BEFORE you're desperate for it. Fresh sheets - especially flannel ones in winter. Waking up on a Saturday with a blizzard raging outside and a fridge full of cheese and beer. Rereading Watership Down in the back yard on a Summer afternoon with a pitcher of Sangria. Thursday night sitcoms in my jammies with a bottle of plonk.

12:14 p.m.  
Blogger Annie said...

Sunday morning Three Stooges marathons and a big cup of hot chocolate. Can't beat it. Unless you add a dab of Bailey's to the hot chocolate...

12:17 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Weeee! I love Hal too! And Shaun and cleans sheets and hot chocolate, oh we humans are such creatures of comfort.
I almost lost my spleen laughing at the Wrong Trousers, my love of Wallace and Gromit is unblemished. I even had an Andrew the Penguin pen top until the one -eyed Marklar chewed it to pieces.
And Futurama, I love Futurama! Expecially Zap Brannigan.

12:33 p.m.  
Blogger Manuel said...

If I can recommend two comic books I got recently.....ROASTED by Andy Riley, brilliant stuff. And Shrigley's ANTS HAVE SEX IN YOUR BEER. Check the waiter one in that book. Very funny/weird stuff......

12:55 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I"m telling you this blog is a mine of information. I have decided to go with the green Monsoon Dress that one of you chumlies suggested, I now know that I have been eating shrimp poo for quite some time and now comic recommendations.
Huzzah for blogging!

12:58 p.m.  
Anonymous Pinkie said...

I cannot think of Hal without hearing 'Funky Town' by Nassau in my head. The beat... the shimmy... the jut of the hips... the face paint... THE PIROUETTES!!

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=2175059

1:01 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Genius, just pure comedy gold.

1:15 p.m.  
Blogger daisy mae said...

aaah, the vices are endless, but most certainly include flannel pj's, soft slippers, and an extra soft bathrobe. insert drink of choice (coffee, tea, wine, etc) and the 2 cats and pup curled up nearby. throw in a book (not a textbook for once, oh winter break where ARE you?) or some mario brothers 3 (a throwback to my childhood) or malcom in the middle, scrubs, or south park, and i'm one contented kid.

for me i think a lot of it has to do with being in grad school - so as soon as i have time to myself i revert to things that involve little thinking and are generally pure comedy. like a good david sedaris book!

1:56 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Might be a winter thing though, Daisy Mae. The colder and wetter it gets the more reluctant I am to leave the house. Also I have just recently discovered the joy that is My Name Is Earl.
French Gay blames my suburban address for my new found reluctance to get into heels, do something with my hair and go out, but really, it's cold, and they're are amusing things on and there is Baileys and Puddy is comfortable, seems a shame to move her...

2:06 p.m.  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

FMC, I’ve been reading tons of stuff recently, even read some Scott again, I do like old Walter and his Ivanhoe and his Saladin and all that hokum, anyway tons of stuff and that fox hunting thing what you wrote last Friday is the best thing I’ve read in months. Months. I only read it yesterday. I’ve copied it off your blog to keep.
I wonder if you had a tear in your eye at the end as you wrote it, I’m not ashamed to say I might have. I also wonder if perhaps there’s more to you than but that’s stupid, how could there possibly be more to you than there is already? If you weren’t already on 15 points, you would be now.

Bloody brilliant.

3:03 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

I loved when Lois shaved Hal at the breakfast table. It was also nice to see a married couple with kids on tv who still loved having sex.
Wine, cheese, and a film and I'm in heaven.

3:04 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I just miss wind and rain. Back after I've got the kids ready for kindergarten.

3:27 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Thank you Docky, I'm glad you like it.
Medbh, so it seems to be. I wonder if it's an age thing. When I was in my early twenties you would have had to use a staple gun and a roll of duct tape to keep me in on a Saturday night. Now I'm bloody happy to do so.

3:29 p.m.  
Blogger The Bad Ambassador said...

Lying in my darkened bedroom with The Divine Comedy's 'Our Mutual Friend' blasting from the stereo.

Pure bliss... letting the music, the violins, clarinets and cellos, the emotion, the voices wash around you and carry you away. (Particularly the last 2 and a half minutes or so).

I find it almost impossible to lie there without making some kind of mini conducting gestures with my index fingers... now if that isn't cause you make the L sign at somebody, I don't know what is.

3:35 p.m.  
Anonymous nonny said...

"When I was in my early twenties you would have had to use a staple gun and a roll of duct tape to keep me in on a Saturday night."

I get like that sometimes (not so much though I can usually talk myself into going out) I think it is the exercise business, finding fulfilments elsewhere to be all gay about it. My bestest thing to do is go to the local on a Thursday evening and drink pints of Guinness emm or swim in the forty foot with my little mofo bro and Floyd in the icy cold or read all the business journals ahh there is just so much.

3:49 p.m.  
Anonymous nonny said...

O and you need to get yourself some all in one jammers they are the fabutastic.

3:52 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

No thank ypu, you practically have to take them off to go for a wee. That kind of cold I can do without.

4:09 p.m.  
Anonymous nonny said...

No no my dear get them with an ass flap em hmm behold,

http://www.jumpinjammerz.com/

4:16 p.m.  
Blogger The Bad Ambassador said...

Awww you'd look like something from the old Primark/Pennys christmas advert.

4:18 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Holy ass crack Batman!

4:21 p.m.  
Anonymous Shebah said...

Nonny - does your expression "my little mofo bro" mean the same thing in Ireland as here? Over here "mofo" is slang for motherfucker. Just checking!

4:31 p.m.  
Anonymous nonny said...

yep, as in my little motherfucker brother although I only mean it in jest, he is one of my favorites.

fmc the ass flap has its disadvantages namely it leaves the possibilities of
"suprise sex" wide open (pardon the pun). I think the original all in one jarmmer was designed specifically to counteract that specific problem. I am single so I can press on with the ass flap purchase. Risky business altogether.

4:40 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Oh dear, Miss Cat. I totally missed Friday's hunting post and I thank Docky for pointing it out here. Just read it and allow me to add mine to your list of compliments on it. AMAZING stuff. Great writing and a very vivid, riveting story.

I bow to the mastery.

Wish I'd known your dad. He sounds like a corker (hope 'corker' a compliment over there, as it is here, because it's meant to be.)

4:43 p.m.  
Anonymous Shebah said...

In jest! It's just about the most insulting thing you can say to somebody! Usually used only when you want to kill them. What does little bro call you?

4:51 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Thank you Andraste, he was and it is.

4:54 p.m.  
Anonymous Shebah said...

And jumpinjammerz - you are definitely jesting now - please say you are........!

4:54 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

She kids not, follow the linky-dink. You can do the splits and everything in them.

4:59 p.m.  
Anonymous nonny said...

nope I do have them, three pairs to be precise, they don't have ass flaps though!!

Make good Christmas presents plus they deliver within 2 weeks.

5:02 p.m.  
Anonymous nonny said...

Shebah did you even have to ask he calls me Nonny off course.

5:11 p.m.  
Anonymous Shebah said...

Mein Got! Nonny, you wouldn't need any flaps wearing those - who could contemplate sex with someone wearing such a hideous garment! I still think you are taking the mickey - they are for 10 year olds and the sartorially challenged! Or as Mr McEnroe said "You can't be serious!! What do the guys think?

5:15 p.m.  
Anonymous nonny said...

Well, I am not. I am a decidedly cold person and despite the central heating, quilt and Granny’s blanket I am always cold, blue in fact. The first pair of these lovely jarmers where bought for me by the artist formally known as Nonny’s boyfriend. Either I was absolutely shite in the sack and he wanted to give me a subtle hint or he was of the more thoughtful variety and put my needs before his own. Either way he didn’t seem to mind, if I get round to replacing him I will let you know what the newbie thinks!

5:26 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Cheap Pleasures - some of mine:
Buttered toast, of course - the ultimate comfort food.
Reading a book to my kids.
Ice-cold Pinot Grigio, a crusty french baguette with rosemary ham, tomatoes and butter. Olives.
Reading on the sofa when the house is all quiet.
The house being quiet.
A walk on a Lewis beach.
A walk in the Castle Grounds Stornoway.
A hot shower after a long windy walk with a dog in Lewis, then a blazing fire, jammas, wine and a favourite film.
When i'm sick, scrambled eggs on buttery toast, MackIntosh Red apples and hot chocolate.
Blogging with coffee or wine.
Watching the girls sleep.
Watching the girls playing oblivious to anything but the made-up game.
Getting told a secret from one of the girls.
Making it all right again when something is wrong.
The Pink Panther cartoons
Liquorice by the ton.
The pub with my friends.
A wet day barbecuing in the middle of nowhere with my friends.
A massage.
I'll quit now although I could easily go on.

5:36 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Golly Sam, you really missing the weather and home are you not. Maybe it's just that time of year.

It's nice to see reading wine and heat seem to be a comfort to nearly all of us. I feel slightly sorry for people who don't see the pleasure pouring a glass of wine, seating one's self in a comfy chair before a fire and cracking the spine of a book.
Television is fine, as are cartoons on the 'puter, but nowt really beats a few hours spent lost among the printed word.

5:55 p.m.  
Blogger grimsaburger said...

No one's mentioned the incredible static you build up in footie pajamas--I used to look like a lightning storm getting out of bed in the middle of the night to go pee.
I will cop to the fact that I wore footie pj's until I was 15 or 16. I'm not proud of it, but I wasn't cold in our drafty old farmhouse with little but a single wood-burning stove to heat it, either.

6:19 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Was there a kind of rubber padding on the bottom? Did you use your electrical powers to do good or eeeevil?

6:33 p.m.  
Blogger grimsaburger said...

I had some that were sort of nylon/plastic on the bottom, so if mom waxed the floor, look out... and then some with little rubber dots on the bottom. All, however, zipped down the front, so that chill you were talking about, when you had to zip down to use the loo, I felt it.
I tried to use my electrical powers to zap my sister, but generally ended up only zapping myself on inanimate objects.

8:15 p.m.  
Anonymous laughykate said...

Decadent stuff..ohh you're talking my language....
Cold beer after you've spent the day outside in summer, feeling vaguely sunned and knackered.
Avocado and tomato on toast with a cup of tea in bed on Saturday and Sunday mornings -with a really good book.
Freshly squeezed orange juice.
Champagne with your oldest friends when they have gathered (they happen to live all over the world so doesn't happen as often as I would like - selfish fuckers. Although, it can have its advantages, we did manage a flat reunion in Sardinia a few years back).
Thai takeaways and rom com film the day after the champagne with hungover old chums.
My mother's roast kumara.
A treaty glass of wine during the day -generally a really good reason. Or not.
Lollies in the weekend.
Discovering how my neices brains work - when my sister bought back a camel for my two year old niece from Dubai she exclaimed -'Look Mummy, a horse turtle!'
I'll stop now as i really need to do some work, but boy, could I bang on and on.

8:34 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I really am.

8:48 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

"Discovering how my neices brains work - when my sister bought back a camel for my two year old niece from Dubai she exclaimed -'Look Mummy, a horse turtle!'
ahahahaha, classic.

9:07 p.m.  
Anonymous Shebah said...

The scent of my partner’s skin and hair.

The resiny pine smell of a new Christmas tree.

Me on my own with Pavarotti playing loudly.

A girlie evening with me and my friends dancing around the sitting room like demented ants and singing at the top of our voices to Abba’s Dancing Queen.

Sleeping off jet lag under a parasol on a sunbed with a very thick mattress on a hot, semi-deserted Thai beach.

The absolute stark beauty of naked trees in Winter

The lights of the city of London at night, especially on the river Thames.

The Christmas shop window displays in the big London stores.

The feel of one day stubble on my partner’s face.

The sound of the shop till, after the assistant has wrapped up my fantabulous new gold mesh Karen Millen dress!

10:33 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

"The sound of the shop till, after the assistant has wrapped up my fantabulous new gold mesh Karen Millen dress!"
Ding ding Ding! Ni-ce!

12:20 p.m.  
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