A question of infidelity.
Now far be it for me to pretend to know the inner workings of their marriage, but it strikes me as utter folly to consider having children with a man who has just cheated on you, possibly more than once.
But to my question. What's the deal breaker with you when it comes to relationships?
I have always maintained that I would drown the paramour if I discovered he was cheating on me with another woman. I don't think I would be able to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart. I don't think I'd be able to forgive and forget. I don't think I'd get over it. You can't just switch love off and of course people make mistakes, we are human after all. But for me, the idea of my paramour kissing another woman or smiling at her or holding her hand, brushing a lock of her hair back from her face. Yeah, it makes me reach for my mental machete.
Of course relationships survive affairs, marriages live through all sorts of ups and downs, some even emerge stronger than before. But that one for me would be it, the deal breaker. I know me, I wouldn't be able to look at him the same way. Maybe on a superficial level I'd forgive, but deep down I wouldn't. It would burn through me.
I trust him you see. I've had to step outside of myself and open up. To allow someone else to have sway over my well being. I've laid it bare with him. No bullshit, no gloss, this is me, warts and all, foibles and flaws, the good the bad and the down right ugly. He's taken it all on board, he didn't flinch or run away screaming-even after he met my mother.
He's really a good man.
So I asked him earlier. 'What would be your deal breaker?'
'Probably being asked what would be my deal breaker before I've even finished my coffee in the morning' said he before fleeing for the shower.
'Mine might also be people who leave the toilet seat up!" I yelled after his departing figure.
So, would you forgive, or would you be found buying rolls of chicken wire and cement blocks at Woodies DIY?
Labels: Forgiveness can be costly.