Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Plastic Surgery.













If I was in a car crash and I was facially disfigured, or if I was born with a hare lip, or some other facial abnormality, I would consider plastic surgery. But in all honesty short of those two options, that would be it and like I say, it would be to correct disfigurement, not to cause it.
Mickey Rourke was such a handsome man before he went allowed his face to be boxed senseless, but it was only after he went under the knife that he completely and utterly destroyed his face. Now he looks like a statue from Easter Island.
Kenny Rogers looks like a chinese sword maker instead of a country singer, Dolly Parton- and I love her- looks like one of the muppets. Meg Ryan looks like a sea monkey.
But it was when I saw Kelly Lebroc that I felt really shocked. Holy Moly she was so beautiful, but now... Well? What on earth does she look like? Two wet road tyres for lips, an expressionless face, a generic nose.
Why would anyone pay to do that to themselves? Why do not their surgeons, who must surely operate under some version of the Hippocratic oath, sit them down and talk them out of it? Is it the industry they work in or some other malaise?
Plastic Surgery and its other, lessor, tribulations are seriously on the rise here in Ireland with clinics dotted all over the city and 'transformations' becoming cheaper and cheaper. I've already noticed a proliferation of slightly surprised looking ladies gadding about town, wrinkle free, botoxed to within an inch of their lives. How long do you think it will take before the trickle down effect take a grip on our society? Will trout pouts become the norm? Cheek implants? Will frowning be frowned upon?
I don't know. But I looked at Julie Christie on Oscar Night who may or may not have had work done, I can't tell. But she looked her age and she looked beautiful, as did Helen Mirren, who was a goddess in her fabulous red dress and defiantly grey hair. They laughed and chatted and made more that two expressions. They were a triumph of grace over plastic.
Turning yourself into a caricature, I believe I'm against it.

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60 Comments:

Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Aaaaargggh! Someone should herd those monsters into a room and take a group pic to advertise plastic surgery.

Oh, look and compare pics of Mary Harney two or so years ago and now. I thinks she's had work... eye bags have reduced, somehow.

10:50 a.m.  
Anonymous nonny said...

I know what your saying but baby, I will do it all when I’m old and off course if I have the money. Some people have got cosmetic surgery and look fantastic, I reckon when the auld crinklers kick in a little bit of botox won’t do any harm. Some people just get obsessed but like everything in moderation it’s fine. I’d love, love to get my boobs done, I’m such a scaredy cat though, I need major encouragement.

What about teeth, do you think that is very cosmeticy, like veneers and such?

10:52 a.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

Im with you most of the way FMC - don't get it unless its completely neccessary.
But the flip-side of that is that some people could be so unhappy about their looks that it ruins their quality of life - I don't consider that to be vanity (unlike the bunch of freaks above).

But generally there's nothing wrong with the body God/Budda/FSM/nature gave us.

11:08 a.m.  
Blogger Manuel said...

Julie Christie looked stunning on oscar night......I'm going for the same look on Saturday.......you just wait n see......

11:17 a.m.  
Blogger Lou said...

I'm having zoom bleaching done on Friday and my teeth built up (I grind them in my sleep) but that's it, I'd never go for veneers because you end up with a smile like a bay window.
As for surgery, never never never. I'm a proper type A and I know no matter how good the surgeon or how amazing the work, I'd never be happy and I'd keep getting more done because the next operation would surely be the one that would make me beautiful. That way madness lies. I think I'll keep the nose/boobs/chin/cheeks/etc I have!

11:22 a.m.  
Anonymous Shebah said...

I'm totally in favour of plastic surgery - but not the freakish kind as per your examples - what kind of surgeon would admit to or be proud to show work like Joyce Wildenstein (Sp?) I think Americans take it to extremes - and they find surgeons who will take their money. For every freakish Michael Jackson and Jacky Stallone there are thousands of good subtle results like Sharon Osborne and Julie Christie (who has admitted to having the full monty). Medics should be banned from putting industrial quantities of Botox in foreheads and Michelin tyre quantities of filler in lips -it just looks totally weird. Veneers and implants for dentistry are a great invention, as long as people don't have unnatural Persil white, which only makes them look like cartoons.

11:24 a.m.  
Anonymous Shebah said...

...and I have to say that even though Dolly Parton looks like a stereotype hourglass woman cartoon, totally unnatural, there is something about her that makes her somehow OK, and I do love her personality and sense of humour.

11:28 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I must agree about Dolly, I'd pretty much forgive her anything such is that woman's charm.
I see Madonna has even had something done of late. Her face is MUCH smoother that it was a few weeks ago.

12:31 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Teeth Nonny, I'm all for good teeth, as long as they don't glow white.

12:32 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Well said, Cat. I'm with you, as you could probably surmise, knowing me like you do. This circus of horrors you've put up here SHOULD be a cautionary tale to anyone contemplating defacing themselves to achieve some cookie cutter ideal. They didn't just sacrifice their individuality, they sacrificed looking human. And boob jobs? Give me a break.

Shebah and Nonny, you have every right to go ahead and go under the knife for vanity, but then we reserve the right to make fun of you mercilessly and your fish lips and expressionless faces. Botox? no harm? That shit is poison, and I believe in the next few years we're going to start hearing about the toxins reaching other parts of the body, like the liver, and doing some real damage.

12:37 p.m.  
Anonymous nonny said...

I am going to say something terrible here buy anyway, I would not say that I am the prettiest apple on the tree in fact I am probably a considerably bad one but in saying that appearance says a lot about you, I would not leave the house without make-up and I cleanse tone and moisturise, shoes polished, suits pressed, cufflinks etc. Generally the more effort you make the further you will go. You said yourself Miss Cat at a meeting on Monday you had your suit and makeup on, what are we going to do when we are all old and withered? When the canvass is so crumply that no amount of war paint will make us look presentable. I’m afraid so won’t rule surgery out. I probably won’t have the balls for it when I get older but I understand why people do it.

As for the choppers, I was going to get veneers a few years ago but when I seen how they file them down to little stumps I was appalled, I don’t have terrible teeth but I had braces on the inside of mon choppers, you cannot see them at all, they are working fantabulous.

12:53 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

The worst plastic surgery I ever saw was on a woman in Barcelona airport.
I was sitting drinking a gin and tonic and reading a magazine when she and her husband came into the cafe area and took a seat. Now her back was to me, but I could see him and my initial thought-I'm so judgemental- was 'hey ho, rich old fart with a dolly bird'
She was about as slender as my leg with waist length blonde blonde blonde hair. She was wearing jeans so tight I could make out her bones under them tucked into a pair of knee high six inch heeled boots-that I coveted- and a tiny little tank top in snow white cotton with a long gold chain looped over her non existent hips.
As is always the case when faced with something that took that amount of dedication, I sucked my stomach in and cursed my love of toasted white bread and beer.
I went on flipping through my magazine and then she rose to go to the bar-which was behind me.
Well sweet holy Chulthua! When she turned around I could see she was some kind of plastic android.
Her boobs were nearly to her neck and rock solid. But her face, it was unreal. Her eyes were pulled up so far they were slanted, you could grate cheese off cheekbones, her nose was pared down to a point, yet her nostrils were too large for it, and her poor mouth. So bulbous and stretched and shiny. Urgh. I tried not to gawk, but I'd never actually seen anything like it in real life. (photos cannot do it justice)
Now she was wearing full make up, which frankly I think helped. Without it her face had to resemble a mask. I remember thinking what the hell was it she saw in the mirror when she got up in the morning? And what had she seen before that drove her to destroy her face like that.
Very weird.
I like faces with character, I don't mind the odd wrinkle here or there developing-although thank you ma for the oily skin. I cursed you during my teenage years but not so much now. But even if I didn't and I was forever complaining about my lines and wrinkles, I would never let anyone near my face with a scalpel.
Oh, and she was in her fifties if she was a day. I clocked her hands as she came back to the seat.

1:12 p.m.  
Blogger Lou said...

I loved the look of Anne Bancroft. So dignified and old-Hollywood glamour with grey hair and wrinkles, and she looked FABULOUS.

1:17 p.m.  
Anonymous nonny said...

That would be a bit excessive. The face, despite it’s mingosity would need much more consideration. I'd be a lifer on the shelf if it got any worse. But, if I could just have the kind of boobs that sit shoulder to shoulder in a nice low cut top for all the world to see I'd be happy, all I want is the two bad boys to squashed together with a little chink to separate them. That’s all I ask, it's only fair I am 25 and lads have not even met each other yet.

1:35 p.m.  
OpenID grimsaburger said...

I happen to have been the bearer of a mild-to-moderately disfigured face (depends on the day, whether I like my hair, whether I can find something to wear, my blood sugar, etc) since birth. Was going to do the big fix when I was 12-13. Freaked out, cancelled surgery the night before, and never went back. It was the mention of "shaving down bone" that did it. Shaving, my ass...all I could imagine was mad hacking with an axe. I had (have?) an overactive imagination.
Anyway.
Being one of those cases that people usually cite as "Well I'd do it if I looked like that," I have to say it's not the worst thing in the world to thrust oneself upon the world looking like I do. I'm in a line of work that requires me to speak in front of assembled groups of strangers, and I have to say, I think way more about whether I've got visible armpit sweating than whether my face is freaking them out. And I think even more about the content of what I'm saying than my armpits.
As I've gotten older, I've gotten a little more philosophical about it, and I keep saying no to the possibility of surgery because I don't know how I'd deal with NOT LOOKING LIKE MYSELF. And with my luck, I'd get a surgeon that didn't understand the difference between "subtle" and "bring out the jackhammers and cranes."
So until I have tons and tons and tons of money to burn on the bestest plastic surgeon in the whole wide world, I'll put it off. And then I'll probably spend it on a months-long vacation somewhere.

1:35 p.m.  
Anonymous nonny said...

Wow Miss Grimsaburger how honest and indeed admirable of you. Given that beauty is a largely subjective thing, it does give rise to the whole, beauty is in the eye of the beholder ideal. What one person believes beautiful another may deem not so. I guess it all boils down to what you want yourself, what makes you comfortable and moreover what makes you happy. Regardless of whether surgery is cosmetic or reconstructive it is entirely up the individual what they want. After all unless you reach celebrity status, ultimately the only person it will affect will be you

2:52 p.m.  
OpenID grimsaburger said...

Admirable, schmadmirable. I don't see how I should get extra points for being okay with looking a little weird. In the great scheme of things, this is less than nothing.

3:08 p.m.  
Blogger MN said...

It brings to mind a quote of Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous:- if that woman gets any more plastic surgery, she'll have a beard!

3:43 p.m.  
Blogger Dr. James McInerney said...

For me the jury is out. I have had a lot of dental work - played hurling and had a couple knocked out - and I cannot imaging not having it done. I wear glasses because I think i look better with them (didn't really get hit with the handsome stick at birth) and if the day comes when I feel a bit of work needs to be done, I will contemplate it, for sure. These photos are a worry, but for several people, you ask the question "did they?", so if you are asking the question, then surely that is a succesful procedure - you're not sure if they have had work done, but boy do they look good.

Poor old Mickey Rourke - he was cool....beforehand.

4:02 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

I've heard it said that everyone in Hollywood gets work done, no matter how attractive they are. It's the difference between improving on what you have (Angelina Jolie) and going so far that you ruin what you had (Nicole Kidman). I think Kidman is the worst example of plastic surgery because she was honestly beautiful before she began and she's only, what 40?

4:47 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Grims I'd be a nervous nelly too, what if once you were under your surgeon got all 'artistic' and next thing he'd made you look like Chesney Hawks?
Oh Patsy, how I loved her. What was it? If she gets any more lifts she'll be wearing her cootchie as a beard?
Medbh, I thought Nicole was fabulous in To Die For, then she did SOMETHING to herself and thus began her career as slightly off Kidman.

That said, I cannot imagine Cher without her face lifts. And I think she can pull it off because she's such a diva anyway.
I heart Cher. I'm such a fag hag some days.

5:07 p.m.  
Blogger John Mc said...

Medbh is so right about Nicole Kidman, she looked so weird at the Oscars and it was so obvious. I wrote about this on my blog, and interestingly it gets the most hits of anything I have written, as an awful lot of people google, "Nicole Kidman", "Plastic Surgery".

I had my teeth bleached a few years back, I had taken tetracyline for a prolonged period as a teenager and they had yellowed,(a side affect). They are a few shades lighter, no threat of blinding oncoming traffic, and I am very happy with it.

5:19 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I'd like to get mine whitened, coffee and wine are awful dulling agents. But my ridiculous terror of the dentist pretty much rules that out. Honestly I feel an idiot even typing that.

5:28 p.m.  
Blogger John Mc said...

You only need to get a tray mould taken at the dentist the rest you do yourself.

6:04 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Really? That doesn't sound too bad. I might just be able to talk myself into that.

6:16 p.m.  
Anonymous SeaDreams said...

Grimsaburger has it down cold-"Not Looking Like Myself"....Kelly Le Brock just looks like a beaten, hardened version of herself. Dolly and Cher have successfully made perpetual reconstruction part of their schtick. But looking at the photo of Mickey Rourke does not conjure what he used to look like, both he and Jocelyn Whoeversheisstein look like they moisturized with napalm.(But isn't her hair perfect? Like that helps?)

I was very surprised to walk into my doctor's office, he's an general practioner in a relative backwater, and find an infomercial running in the waiting room, extolling the wonders of Botox. When I asked him, "So, how goes the Botox, , pretty popular around here?", he replied, with apparent disgust,"No, I'm administering 10 times as much in my other office up North". Up North being close to NYC. Must be plenty of money in that shit.
As for the teeth, sensitivity to cold and heat is the worst of it and you have control over the degree, no need to go neon. And not remotely like going under the knife, more like applying mascara to pale lashes. See! Isn't that easy?

6:57 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I noticed the hair too.
She was very beautiful when she was younger, but clearly barking. She initially did that to herself because she was worried her husband was tiring of her ( mind you, you should SEE the photos of him).
Funny though, when they went to divorce court she wanted him to pay an ENORMOUS sum monthly for her upkeep on the grounds that years of having servants had left her incapable of even switching on a kettle and she was unable to feed her self because of this. ( There was a huge write up in Vanity Fair at the time, I remember reading it going 'cor, those folk are nuttier than a walnut whipp')
Oh the worries of the very rich.

7:15 p.m.  
Anonymous SeaDreams said...

I see. They were both pretty people, but sweet Jesus, did money alter their ability to accurately perceive the content of the mirror?
He's dead, she's taking orders from another planet.....

8:02 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I'm pretty sure the money only helped exacerbate the loonliness.

8:16 p.m.  
OpenID grimsaburger said...

The thing about botox--when I said no to the surgery circa 17 years ago, the other option my surgeon pitched to me was botox. Because it's not surgical! It's just a series of needles being poked into your face! And you have to keep coming back so I can continue to poke needles in your face!
I'm sure I don't have to explain why I shot that one down pretty quick.
I have days where I wish I'd had something done back then, but then there's no way to tell if I would've grown up the same way. I don't think it's possible to alter your appearance without altering your personality, and I'm pretty happy with the way I've turned out. What if I'd had my face fixed and turned out to be an incredible bore? It's too sad to contemplate.

8:27 p.m.  
Blogger Lou said...

Make sure your dentist gives you Day White, you don't want to be wearing the trays overnight... You end up swallowing the bleach!

Day White is only 40 minutes a day. I've just used it, am still getting the zoom done because they're not white enough, but I DO want that persil look... :D

8:48 p.m.  
Anonymous laughykate said...

The thing is...once ya go under the knife (not the bone thing the skin thing).....then you have to go again...and again...... Once you start to fill your face with poison..you have to do it again...and again and again. It's not a one time fix. Am happy for someone to rip hair out of my body on a regular basis.....but anything beyond that is just a bridge too far.

I have considered the teeth whitening thing but I know of a guy whose currently trying to crack it in L.A.....he had his done and now they literally glow in the dark. I suppose he'd be quite handy in a power cut, though.

8:53 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Eek, glow in the dark teeth and bleach swallowing. It all sounds perfectly vile. Maybe I'll just stick with brushing flossing and listerine after all.

Grims, I completely agree, christ, even a different haircut can alter how you feel and at least that can grown back. Can you imagine changing your jaw or nose and hating the result?
And for that matter I don't know ANONE who is perfect anyway-although I know one or two who seem to be labouring under the illusion they are- it's the quirks that make us who we are.

9:51 p.m.  
Blogger John Mc said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

10:32 p.m.  
Blogger John Mc said...

FMC

There is no swallowing bleach, if your gums and teeth hurt or you are swallowing bleach, the instructions are not being followed. The bleach is thick not watery. You will be sensitive for a day or two, and you absolutely cannot drink red wine or coffee for the duration.

Its a 5% hydrogen peroxide solution - drinking coke is harder on your teeth. It's pretty hard to get the glow in the dark look, thats usually with veneers. The original color of your teeth has a lot to do with it, few shades of whitening is the most you should expect. Coffee and wine stains will defo be gone.

10:43 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Thank you John. I blame my skittishness on an overwhelming terror of dentists ( my first major dental procedure was with and Eastern health board dentist and I never gotten over it)

11:25 p.m.  
Anonymous Babs said...

I went to that Smiles Denist Clinic place on Duke Street (I think?) there is one on O'Connell Street. They out that clay shit into your mouth and then make the bleach trays which are reusable so all you have to do is buy more bleach. It's great. I do it for a week every year or so. I think you are supposed to do it for two weeks and twice a day for 40 minutes but I only have time for one go a day. It's brilliant.
If I was to get anything done I would sort out my one wonky tooth. It just annoys me because food gets caught in it and no one says anything. Assholes!
Botox is botulism, as in, the stuff that if you eat it can kill you fairly quickly. It paralyses your face muscles. I don't think that is a good idea.
When I was a kid I wanted to get a lip reduction because (yes lip). I have really juicy lips but because most people don't have them the kids at school saw me as abnormal and used to give me an awful hard time about them. That was until they learned about kissing. I hated them and I hated my Mam for giving them to me. But now they are probably my favourite thing. I also hated my oily skin but it's great now that I understand it.
No way would I go near a boob surgeon even with my newly shrunken ones. To drop from a D cup to a B was horrifying for me but I have felt the fake ones and they are rank. No chance!! No chance to any surgery for me, I am too scared of anaesthetic to do something like that. I agree with it if it's needed but otherwise I think it's really quite odd. I would hate to look in the mirror afterwards and not see me.

12:23 a.m.  
Anonymous sarah said...

even if i could afford plastic surgery.. i wouldn't do it. unless, like you said, it was reconstructive or to fix some defect that was seriously bothering.

i agree about Rourke - what a looker he used to be..

12:39 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

"I also hated my oily skin but it's great now that I understand it."
Oh I hear that! When I was a teenager I cursed and swore about our family's skin with gusto, but now-when it is controllable- I'm all for it. Less wrinkles and less dry skin, huzzah! Although more PMS/I've been out all weekend spots, boo hiss.

Night.

Ps. Hope you're still a smoke free zone Babs.

12:41 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Sarah , so sorry we crossed. Rourke, Angel Heart, what a toots he was.

12:42 a.m.  
Anonymous Shebah said...

Probably safer to have the bleaching done by a dentist as I hear if it's overdone it can make your teeth porous and sensitive to heat and cold and you absorb even more coffee/wine etc. and have to keep doing it.
I thought Nicole Kidman was pregnant - has she really had surgery done or is it just pregnancy changes? I hope she hasn't resorted to surgery yet - I think she is so perfect, an ideal looking woman - porcelain pale and beautiful - like fine china!

3:21 p.m.  
Blogger Mayrasmom said...

Egad, Mickey's worse than you thought...

http://www.tmz.com/2008/02/29/mickey-rourkes-face-ravaged-by-dog/

6:47 p.m.  
Anonymous janna said...

If there's a reason to undergo plastic surgery, it's having a very disfigured face or body structure. I don't understand why would other do it to themselves not thinking about the consequences.

6:43 p.m.  
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