Monday, March 24, 2008

The universe is fucking me.

It is a bank holiday here, that means legions of my fellow countryfolk are hungover and lying about eating toast and not working.
Not so for this Fatcat. One of the joys of working for one's self is that you get to work all the bloody time. I woke up at half six this morning thinking about work, I fell back asleep and dreamed about work, and now, here I sit, befleeced and befuddled about to roll up my sleeves and work for the next five hours or so. Bah.
But before I do, I just want to take the opportunity to thank the good chumley who sent me the following link. You know who you are you rat fink.
This chumlies is a dream detective.
Words fail me.
I cannot even work up the suitable rage I normally reserve for this kind of charlatan. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe this is the straw that breaks the camel's back. Maybe now I can stop fretting about the rise of hokum and the proliferation of complete frauds and hucksters. Maybe I can now wander through life not sneering and being aghast at these bottom feeders of the feeble minded.
Or mayby-throughout my busy day today- I will stop work to shout ' A FUCKING Dream Detective?' scaring Puddy and the Paramour both. Maybe I will snort laughter and shake my head at random intervals.
I don't know what I'll do. I feel very strange.
You vile/beloved chumley, sender of this one, are a complete wizard's sleeve.

Labels:

19 Comments:

OpenID grimsaburger said...

Damn, before I clicked on the link I thought he was a dream interpreter, and would tell you that dreaming of your teeth falling out meant you were going to die. But this is far, far more awesome.

And by awesome, of course I mean awful.

12:25 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It's pretty terrible all right. All that waffle and not a single concrete tangible shred of evidence or proof. The ego on these people must be something to behold.

1:47 p.m.  
Anonymous Jake said...

I agree - wish I never opened the link- I should have known better.

2:31 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

So he can "heal" other people but he needs to wear those big ugly glasses?
String him up.

2:42 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Ha! good point, Medbh!

What a huckster. I bet he just reads the paper and says, "SEE? SEE? I dreamed that two nights ago."

Who's that woman in mythology who was cursed to see the future but have no one believe her. Was it Cassandra? If she'd had the internet...

3:23 p.m.  
Anonymous SeaDreams said...

Clearly a crackpot of great integrity since he accepts PayPal...

Still, does anyone have any theories about that one item in the dropdown- the one that says

A DICK? Wisemanism ???

4:12 p.m.  
Anonymous Sam, Problemchildbride said...

What a shyster, trying to make money out of Lockerbie like that. I'd like to shove his "journey" up his arse and then tell him I'd dreamed about it only the other day, but I plan to dream it regularly from hereon in.

4:19 p.m.  
OpenID grimsaburger said...

Also in awesome crackpot news, Aliens saved us from a meteorite in 1908! "Scientists" say so!

4:21 p.m.  
Blogger Dr. James McInerney said...

I have considering being a toenail clipping detective. Once when clipping my toenails, I saw the face of Mother Theresa in the pattern made by my toenails and then I knew I had a special gift. Send me 450 Euro for a pamphlet that will reveal all to you. Love. Money. Happiness. Remember the toenail detective.

I can also read tealeaves and coffee grounds and maybe the smear in the bottom of a cup of hot chocolate and the suds on the glass after you've drank a pint of Carlsberg. Probably.

4:21 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It's just not right...Every time I castigate one of them another one pops up like a malignant fungus.

4:50 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

You know, about 15 years ago I was in a bar with a bunch of pals, in the middle of a 3 day bender - and for laughs, I was 'reading' the foam on the tops of their beer glasses like tealeaves, and making crackpot observations.

Surprisingly, a lot of what I said was right.

So, HUZZAH!! I'm the beer detective!

5:12 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Huzzah ineed! Now that kid of reading I could probably get right into.

5:53 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

Beer detective!
Propah, as MC Hammer used to say.

6:11 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

God damn I love Bunk.

10:25 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

FMC, that scene where Bunk and McNulty solve the murder while only using variations of "fuck" in the first season? Brilliant!

2:48 a.m.  
Blogger Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Who's that woman in mythology who was cursed to see the future but have no one believe her. Was it Cassandra?

It was indeed Cassandra.

I don't know if she takes PayPal though.

What with her being all mythological and everything.

3:50 a.m.  
Anonymous laughykate said...

There I was banging on about the joys of four day weekends, when it slowly dawned on me that i worked two of them. I love being self employed.

As for dream detective, what a fucking muppet.

Oops, I shouldn't have used muppet in that sentence. Sorry muppets, you're better than him.

7:06 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a fucking dream

I have a fucking dream, that one day I can be the fucking president of CHINA. I have a fucking dream, that the fucking China is only one big fucking CHINA. I have a fucking dream, that one day my fucking service to Chinese people will please the fucking people really and my fucking presidency will be replaced by another fucking president elected , slected by fucking chinese people. I have a fucking dream, that every fucking chinese will be paid by my fucking goverment to go to hospital. I have a fucking dream , that every children of fucking chinese can go to school , paid by my fucking government office. I have a fucking dream, that every fucking old chinese man or woman will be living under my care of my fucking government office and paid by my fucking office. I have a fucking dream, that all fucking western countries's president, and their government, and their fucking people will dream to be a fucking chinese and I can speak as the fucking US president speaks now. I have a fucking dream, that my children and my children's children, all live in a fucking fair ,clear, nothing to fear world and will not need such fucking dreams , as I am now only fucking dreaming . ....................

4:08 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nanokeratin locks onto the hair, forming a fine,
smooth coat of keratin. Since these goods are made from plant
extracts, seed oils and hair only twice in a week.
Generally, these products are more expensive than their watered-down counterparts, but you can find a
few affordable pure silicone hair products (see below).

2:14 a.m.  

Post a Comment

<< Home