Jelly baby Lies.
'Where did you get those Jelly babies?'
'What Jelly Babies?'
'What do you mean what Jelly Babies? The ones right there under your pillow.'
'Oh those Jelly Babies. They were put there.'
'Friends of mine, good friends. They knew I was short some Jelly babies and I was upset about that, seeing as I was going through a difficult time and all that, so they had a whip round.'
'A whip round?'
'Yes. I was over in their house earlier and they handed me a big bag of Jelly babies. I was flabbergasted at their jelly-generosity.'
'But you just said they were put there!'
'Well yes, I put them there.'
'But surely those fizzy cola bottles are the ones from the kitchen.'
'Those ones, the cola bottles. Hey! Stop putting them in your mouth!'
'Myump myump, gulp. Oh those cola bottles. Well yes. I won those.'
'I won them.'
'You won them?"
'Before, it's hard to remember when, I'm so innocent you see, my memories get fluffy.'
'Your sister said she saw you take them from the kitchen.'
'I have a sister?'
'Oh right, well she's mistaken.'
'She saw you.'
'I doubt that.'
'But she says she saw you.'
'Seems to me like you'd need proof of that. Anything else is just hearsay and conjecture.'
'You're eating the proof.'
'Oh yes. Well. hah, you have me there. Hee hee. Actually these are her cola bottles, she loaned them to me after I swapped some jelly babies with her earlier in the year.'
'Oh yes, swapping and loaning, it's all the rage in Jellyland.'
'So you're saying you didn't take anything.'
'I'm not saying anything. But sure cad a thárla? Hee hee.'
'Look, I just want to know if-'
'I think I'll go outside and play now.'
But what about the theft?'
'La la la, if you were the only boy in the world and I was the only ga....l. Hey! Gummy bears. I'd forgotten I even had those. Myump myump.'
Labels: It's good to be king.