Thursday, September 18, 2008

Testing Times for the shaggy of head.

I planned to go for my bi-annual haircut tomorrow-indeed I even deigned to use the telephone! But alas, I am alarmed and put out to discover my hairdresser- Spanish and practically mute- no longer works at the hairdressers I frequent. No amount of pleading with the frosty receptionist could make her reveal where she might have gone neither.
Bah and damnation. The curse of the seven snotty dwarves on it.
This means I will now have no other option but to run the gauntlet of hairdressers in an attempt to replace her with another efficient and practically mute one who doesn't DO head massages.
I suppose I could cut it myself, but I recall doing just that a number of years ago and THEN having to suffer through the indignity of another hairdresser sorting out the mess I made of it.
This has made me most grouchy, and I had already reached my grouch quota of the day by 8:45 in the am. I am now overly grouched. I'm spilling grouch.
Anyone know of a hairdresser who doesn't like talking and who also doesn't offer head massages? ANYONE??



Blogger The Hangar Queen said...


It'd be a 7 hr flight for you though.

Monday at 11 good for you then?

11:28 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Ack! Hello there darling! Christ no, ixnay on the travel. 7 hours? Haha. Oh if only someone would hurry up and invent a blasted teleporter.

11:37 a.m.  
Anonymous The Bad Ambassador said...

The CPF.

If by "hairdresser" you mean "somebody who will run a number 1 blade across your head and remain patient while you chair dance and wiggle your eyebrows suggestively at her".

11:40 a.m.  
Blogger JL Pagano said...

That happened to the missus recently - her favourite stylist absconded elsewhere and they wouldn't tell her where. Can't see myself what the logic is in doing that. Are you expected to say "Oh, very well then, just pick one of your stylists at random and I'll let them at my head and let you have my money anyway!!!"???

11:41 a.m.  
Blogger Selina Kyle said...

Brenda at Vanilla, in Rathmines, Dublin - she is a genius, she is quiet and no massages included - although the chairs at the washing stations massage the back while the hair is being washed... their number is 4976668


11:42 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Much obliged SK, although I frown upon chair massages too.

JL, I know, it's so bloody frustrating when you finally find someone you're happy with and then POOOF, they're gone.

BA, the Paramour would concur.

11:53 a.m.  
Blogger Dr. James McInerney said...

I reccommend the very large woman in the barber shop in Maynooth.

I went in there once, just after coming to Maynooth. I sat in the chair and wittered a bit about wanting my hair cut fairly short here and not-so-short there. After standing silently listening to me for a couple of minutes, she said the only words that she was to say to me that day...."what number?"

I said "number 3" and emerged from the barber shop about 2 minutes later looking like a newly-shorn spring lamb who had just been slaughtered (*pats himself on back for mixing multiple metaphors*).

So, the large woman in the barber shop in Maynooth, if you want silence and absence of massage.

12:22 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eeek getting the hair done today & you've reminded me to worry about the fact that it is not my usual hairdresser doing it - it's a MAN. The other one knows to leave me to the trashy mags and my cup of tea in silence-what if he doesn't know the rules?? Aaagh!

12:30 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

I'm a diy merchant, haven't been near a hairdresser/barber in 21 years. How much does it cost for a cut these days?

12:31 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"bi-annual haircut"

Is you 'aving a larf? I go at least once a month, I have to.

I hate the touchy feely, molesty types as well. I sware to God I don't think I'd feel as uncomfortabe if they were messaging my thigh. Don't know what it is about a hairwash massage. It is the weirdest thing. I used to go to Tony and Guy until they got them message chairs, Brown Sugar on South William Street is nice, I like Zoo as well, I ain't that picky once they keep their mits to themselves.


12:41 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't help you, unfortunately, but I can share your pain. I still succumb to the pressure to be chatty and say all sorts of things that simply aren't true about what I think of life, love, work, etc. Damn woman turns me into a liar, she does. But she does such a wonderful job...

I have super-short hair and still try to go only 1x/3-4 months. Talk about shaggy. I get a proper mullet going by the time it's over with.

Good luck!

12:46 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't know how much a mans hair costs generally but I hear a lot a guys talking about the barbers in St Stephens Green, they get their hair washed and chopped and a hot towel shave, for about 50-60 yo yo's, my hair is about 170ish yo yo's. If I was a man I'd definitly try the hot towel shave it looks fabulous.


12:47 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

So, say E600 a year by 21 years... for a man. That's lot of money.

12:58 p.m.  
Blogger gimme a minute said...

6 euro in the barbers beside Cyclogical on the quays.

170 euro for a haircut, with or without a message, is an obscenity.

1:13 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...


1:15 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess it all adds up Mr. Conan but I am sure it would be nice to treat yourself every now and then.

People are fairly diverse in their spending habits, what seems essential to one person maybe ridiculous to another. I mean lots of people smoke a pack a cigarettes per day, that adds up to about 218 Euro per month, I think that is quite mental but nonetheless it is a matter of personal choice.


1:23 p.m.  
Blogger gimme a minute said...

That's a good point, Nonny.

I know what a cancerous lung looks like, any chance we could see a picture of the €170 hair?

1:28 p.m.  
Anonymous AM in Brussels said...

Holy crap. 50 or 60 quid for a quick cut and a hot-towel shave?


There are some Turkish/Moroccon places here that will do the same thing for 7 euros, the max being 10 I've paid.

My wife gets her hair done about once per month (a little colour) and every 3 or 4 months gets a bit cut off. From what I know, the monthly job is about 60 quid and if a cut is involved she pays 90ish.

170 euros? What do they do? Wash your hair in gold or something Nonny?

1:31 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It can be a bit less sometimes but a quick scan of my office reveals that it is fairly standard for the ladies AM.

Gimmie, I am not the prettiest, I wouldn’t want to spoil anybody’s lunch.

Sniff, sniff.


1:39 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What sort of woman gets her hair cut twice a year, God you must be a right minger

1:51 p.m.  
Anonymous Shebah said...

I hate changing hairdresser, nothing worse than coming out with a cut you really hate and having to wait months for it to grow out. I find if you ask a hairdresser to take off 3 centimetres they take off 10. Aaargh.

2:11 p.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

Bought a set of clippers for about £30 2 years ago and I cut my hair every 2 weeks. Now that's value for money!

2:16 p.m.  
Anonymous Common Law said...

Annonymous - She said 'cut' not washed.
I also get my hair cut about twice a year. I can't bear the tedium of going to the hairdressers or the judgemental look from the hairdresser as the blank expression on my face gives away the fact that I don't really know what a layer is or the impact it will have on my impending haircut.

2:42 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

I had my first cut since January last week and had another new stylist. She was a bit chatty from wanting to know why I moved here. The cut was not much to speak of, but she gave me the best blow out I've had in a while. It was smooth but full of bounce and a bit of curl. It came to $60, which is more than I usually pay but I'm not saying it wasn't worth it.

2:48 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These days the $38 I pay for a cut is a downright bargain, even on my meager student stipend. I could go and spend $10 on a cut, but I'd get the same result as if I cut it myself. And no one wants that.

3:07 p.m.  
Anonymous Betty said...

Aah I feel you pain FMC, although I have v. short hair I tend to go to the hairdressers only a few times a year (when my hair becomes v. unruly and impairs my vision) and I'm quite particular about the muteness, hands only used to cut hair thing as well. Find John in Kazumi, Molesworth street good.

3:20 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

A good non talking hairdresser is worth their weight in gold. GOLD I tell you. My haircut normally costs about 80 Euros, unless I'm getting a colour and then it zings up to 130!. But since I really only get it done twice a year I don't break into a total freakout over the cost. You can get away with not getting your hair cut so often when you've long hair. But short choppy styles that require work?? NO, no and thrice no.
Hah, Common Law, I take it you too have been subjected to the 'hair care talk' as they hold the locks of shame aloft.

3:23 p.m.  
Anonymous Betty said...

Also, our moribund Celtic Tiger must have well and truly eaten itself if there are men in Dublin willing to pay 50-60 Euro for basic barber services with a shave thrown in!

3:24 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Aye. I think the paramour has had a hot shave and his usual buzz cut for all of 12 of his favourite euros. There's no way in holy hell he'd pay 50 or 60 squids for it.
Docky, I'm still laughing at your bravado!

3:34 p.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

3:36 p.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

Always hated having my hair cut. The only time it was ever bearable was in the Green Dolphin on South Anne Street. A real old style barbers but they all died and now it's full of people who aren't good enough to get a job in Toni & Guy but don't realise that and think they should try and give you a Toni and Guy haircut experience by massaging your scalp and stuff.

3:38 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

12 euro are you sure? I have asked every man here (7 of them). The cheepest for just a cut was 12-15 euro!!


3:52 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I'm pretty sure, I'll ask him when he gets home.
Twenty, you? Head massages? Are they mad? With your reputation?

4:32 p.m.  
Anonymous problemchildbride said...

I have my haircut about twice a year too. I pay about $60 and I love the head massage. It makes me all goofy-relaxed and biddable so I'll just smile and nod my way through the whole thing. I reckon it's a customer-control technique - lulls us into obeisance, like patting cows before they go into the bullet shed.

I have the perfect hairdresser at the moment, not too chatty, doesn't wear overbearing perfume, plays good music in the background, and does the best job of everyone I've tried since moving to Cali.

4:40 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

She sounds wonderful. I bet she doesn't get water all over your face when she's washing your hair either.

4:45 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I go to the Chinese hairdresser on Westmoreland st (upstairs). It costs me €28 for a haircut (mid-length hair) and 8 euro for my boyfriend. They don't speak very good english so you don't really spend time chatting. I'd recommend going there.


5:31 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You bought your boyfriend for 8 euro in a Chinese hairdresser's, what on earth is the worls coming to. Tut tut, I don't know at all.


6:08 p.m.  
Blogger daisy mae said...

well, FMC, depending on whether or not you have someone to help you, i have J cut my hair... always the same way. it's longer (past my shoulders) and this gets just the right amount of layering in. then i go back and trim around my face a bit, and it's perfect.

all i do is tell J the proper length i want it, then after washing my hair, i lie down on a bench (or table) with my hair all hanging off of the end. get it all combed down, and then have whomever cut it (on a bias) the length you desire, and that's it - you're done. it's practically foolproof, it's so easy.

6:23 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Er, I'm not sure I'd leave it to the paramour. He'd do it, but I think it would come out pretty wonky.
Thanks Orlaith, but I have taken Selina's suggestion and booked myself in for a wash/chop/dry. I appreciate knowing more good places though and may check them out next year. Cheers.

8:10 p.m.  
Blogger Manuel said...

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10:53 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

God, you must be aright shower of ugly unkempt cows, non of you get your hair cut more than twice a year.
Dont any of you people socialise or have to go out and meet people, obviously non of you work in jobs meeting the customer, where good grooming is a pre requisite.
In fact, you guys are not living in the real world AT ALL, I had heard that bloggers were introverted nerds who dont leave the house, but haircuts twice a year.....??

11:04 p.m.  
Blogger laughykate said...

I have had the same hairdresser for about six years (my previous one moved town and recommended her own hairdresser). She is batshit kooky but great at curly hair. To my horror one day she vanished from the salon and I was forced to use another woman who I didn't get at all. Not to mention having a Japanese colourist whose hair was bright lime green (Excuse me, but are you aware your hair is, um, lime green?) That's always going to make you feel a little nervous.

A few months later a work colleague (who'd also had her hair cut by this woman) rang to say that she'd found our old hairdresser in another salon - she'd left and had a restraint of trade placed upon her for six months.

How happy was I to find her again?

11:14 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Efficient manuel! Just like you baby.

Pretty happy I's say LK, pretty damned happy indeed. Once you find one that you really trust and can relax with it's v. hard to replace- unless your lucky of course. Bit like dentists.

Poor anonymous, equating beauty with 'good grooming'. I see 'good grooming' make little or no impact on good manners.

7:35 a.m.  
Blogger Selina Kyle said...

i hope you like brenda, let me know how you get on. i always feel kinda responsible when i recommend anything to people!

9:35 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Success! Thank you Mizz Kyle. I didn't get a Brenda, but I DID get a Julie, who was efficient, quiet and did a cracking job, I was in and out in under 50 mins too which is almost unheard of. And they charged 60 Euros which was also very bloomin' nice of them.

11:30 a.m.  
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