Anyway. Enough about that. I have builders in. I might have just as easily typed I have cockroaches in. Not because I find my builders to be disgusting insects, but because -confound them- they are scuttley and turn up in weird places and then disappear again for hours.
They tell lies though, and I'm pretty sure cockroaches don't. Lies like, 'Sure, I'll be there first thing in the mornin' and I'll have that plastered and skimmed for ya before noon.'
This I have discovered means, 'I'll turn up around eleven, tell you I've to go get something or other, leave the actual hardworking exhausted looking Polish lad here and bugger off with the other lads for a couple of mysterious hours.'
Here, allow me, lest any of you might be fool hardy enough to require these men in your near or not so near future.
'That won't be any trouble' = 'that will be next to impossible and we will spend many many paid hours struggling with it before giving up and demanding tea.'
'No problem'= Velly many problems.
Crack of Dawn= some time before noon.
Back Shortly = see you tomorrow.
Quality= cheap stuff bought in bulk load, eager to off load.
Sturdy/Solid= Puddy's arse could knock it over.
No mark up = three times its original price.
Matter of days= any number of weeks
Electrics= power outage
Cups of tea= life force or builder's 'chi'
Measurements= the ability to decide complex distances using eyes.
Plans= see above.
Rain= no work to day
Few bob= vast sums of money.
Cash= crack cocaine.
Well, you see what I mean. It has been quite the experience...it still is. Naturally in the midst of all this I find I have to work. And ghastly as that is, it's actually quite a relief to take refuge in my work space and hide out from the relentless hammering and banging. ALso I have had the dreaded lurgy and have been quite sick. Naturally. I'll skip around the blogs this morning and try catch up. From the sound of it, the Polish lad has just finished his fourth can of Redbull and has taken up the slack again.
Labels: Tea is the magic number.