I hate PETA.
I truly despise PETA, oh let me count the ways. They routinely exploit women, they think nothing of being casually racist, they tell lies, spread misinformation and they operate a kill policy in their shelters. They are headed up by a maniac and I just truly truly dislike them.
So it was with quick lit fury I spotted the DSPCA running one of their tedious fucking bullshit campaigns. The Buy One Kill One campaign. (way to go DSPCA, Foster debate? Are you mad?)
This particular campaign is 'allegedly' to inform those dastardly people who might buy a pedigree dog just how much a blight on the animal kingdom they are. You see, proles and boobies, YOU (and by you I mean people like you and me) YOU are the very reason doggies and cats are being killed by their thousands every day in our pounds. YOU, if you get a pup from a breeder and YOU if you don't. Oh yes, you see by not doing anything you're killing a dog. By carefully selecting a breed, thinking long and hard about whether you can give a dog a good home and then researching what type of dog you would like, well, you're killing puppies. See, by NOT going to the pound and adopting some mutt somebody else didn't want you're responsible. Likewise you are CLEARLY responsible for every mangy flu riddled cat you've ever chased out of your garden. See, it's YOUR fault. Why? Because PETA say so. Oh yes, and if ANY OF YOU even think about having children in the future or if you have them now I want you to think of the baby you let die in an orphanage some where because that's your fault too. Why would you want a child of your own when you can adopt somebody else's child? What's wrong with you????
Dear PETA, get a fucking grip you bunch of whiny minging fuckwits. Responsible owners are not your problem, irresponsible owners are. And since people buying pedigree dogs usually shell out quite a lot of money for them they usually have given it some thought before hand. I'm not saying everyone does of course, people are people, but by and large. Sure you'll find pure bred dogs unwanted in shelters too, but by and large it's mongrels and crossed breeds filling up the cages, the results of idiots letting dogs breed willy nilly and being too stupid or too lazy to shore up the puppy flood by engaging in a spaying and neutering scheme.
Here is what I will do with Batman and Mister Woo. I will source them from excellent breeders who don't run puppy farms.
I will require to see their parents.
I will vaccinate them and neuter them-so they don't breed more puppies.
I will microchip them.
I will understand that dog shed/drool/smell/dig/poo/pee/and bark.
I will allow them to sleep.
I will not get bent out of shape when they chew things- I will provide Kongs and rawhide bones for puppy teeth.
I will feed them quality food- this will include cheese and bacon and mashed potato.
I will exercise them daily.
I will allow the cats to sort out the pecking orders.
I will understand that a filthy tired dog is frequently a happy dog.
I will keep up their vet appointments.
I will foot the bill should they require any medical care.
I will not let them roam free, causing accidents to others or getting injured themselves.
I will train them not to be aggressive to people.
I will not allow them up on the furniture, but I will provide beds in the house and most probably up against a radiator.
I will leave them with Country Gay when I go on holiday.
I will keep them until they are old and infirm and so long as they have good quality of life.
I will keep them alive.
When the time comes to let them go I will do so and not let them linger in any pain or discomfort because I selfishly want more time with them or I'm too much of a wimp to put my dog first.
I will remain with them as they are being put to sleep, I won't let them spend their last moments on this earth alone or with strangers.
At no point will my dog/dogs become pound fodder. The will not become a number. They will be family. If you think this equals the death of one or two mongrels in the pound then so be it. I didn't breed those dogs or abandon them, so fuck you for trying to shift the blame from where it should squarely lay. If people routinely let dogs keep their balls and produce litter after litter of unwanted pups that's not my fault. If people don't place any value on an animal that's not my fault. I am responsible for me and for my own actions, and if after careful consideration and an understanding of the commitment required to be a dog owner I chose to get a pedigree dog or two then fuck you for trying to make me feel bad about it. But see here's the rub PETA, I won't feel bad about it because I know that you are a bunch of lying, brain-dead, animal slaughtering misanthropic cuntbulters and since I already hate you and everything you stand for I'll just chalk this brief feeling of fury up to another notch on the pole of Fuck PETA I'm busily carving.
PETA- I am SO against them.