Thursday, October 23, 2008

I hate PETA.

I truly despise PETA, oh let me count the ways. They routinely exploit women, they think nothing of being casually racist, they tell lies, spread misinformation and they operate a kill policy in their shelters. They are headed up by a maniac and I just truly truly dislike them.
So it was with quick lit fury I spotted the DSPCA running one of their tedious fucking bullshit campaigns. The Buy One Kill One campaign. (way to go DSPCA, Foster debate? Are you mad?)
This particular campaign is 'allegedly' to inform those dastardly people who might buy a pedigree dog just how much a blight on the animal kingdom they are. You see, proles and boobies, YOU (and by you I mean people like you and me) YOU are the very reason doggies and cats are being killed by their thousands every day in our pounds. YOU, if you get a pup from a breeder and YOU if you don't. Oh yes, you see by not doing anything you're killing a dog. By carefully selecting a breed, thinking long and hard about whether you can give a dog a good home and then researching what type of dog you would like, well, you're killing puppies. See, by NOT going to the pound and adopting some mutt somebody else didn't want you're responsible. Likewise you are CLEARLY responsible for every mangy flu riddled cat you've ever chased out of your garden. See, it's YOUR fault. Why? Because PETA say so. Oh yes, and if ANY OF YOU even think about having children in the future or if you have them now I want you to think of the baby you let die in an orphanage some where because that's your fault too. Why would you want a child of your own when you can adopt somebody else's child? What's wrong with you????

Dear PETA, get a fucking grip you bunch of whiny minging fuckwits. Responsible owners are not your problem, irresponsible owners are. And since people buying pedigree dogs usually shell out quite a lot of money for them they usually have given it some thought before hand. I'm not saying everyone does of course, people are people, but by and large. Sure you'll find pure bred dogs unwanted in shelters too, but by and large it's mongrels and crossed breeds filling up the cages, the results of idiots letting dogs breed willy nilly and being too stupid or too lazy to shore up the puppy flood by engaging in a spaying and neutering scheme.
Here is what I will do with Batman and Mister Woo. I will source them from excellent breeders who don't run puppy farms.
I will require to see their parents.
I will vaccinate them and neuter them-so they don't breed more puppies.
I will microchip them.
I will understand that dog shed/drool/smell/dig/poo/pee/and bark.
I will allow them to sleep.
I will not get bent out of shape when they chew things- I will provide Kongs and rawhide bones for puppy teeth.
I will feed them quality food- this will include cheese and bacon and mashed potato.
I will exercise them daily.
I will allow the cats to sort out the pecking orders.
I will understand that a filthy tired dog is frequently a happy dog.
I will keep up their vet appointments.
I will foot the bill should they require any medical care.
I will not let them roam free, causing accidents to others or getting injured themselves.
I will train them not to be aggressive to people.
I will not allow them up on the furniture, but I will provide beds in the house and most probably up against a radiator.
I will leave them with Country Gay when I go on holiday.
I will keep them until they are old and infirm and so long as they have good quality of life.
I will keep them alive.

When the time comes to let them go I will do so and not let them linger in any pain or discomfort because I selfishly want more time with them or I'm too much of a wimp to put my dog first.
I will remain with them as they are being put to sleep, I won't let them spend their last moments on this earth alone or with strangers.

At no point will my dog/dogs become pound fodder. The will not become a number. They will be family. If you think this equals the death of one or two mongrels in the pound then so be it. I didn't breed those dogs or abandon them, so fuck you for trying to shift the blame from where it should squarely lay. If people routinely let dogs keep their balls and produce litter after litter of unwanted pups that's not my fault. If people don't place any value on an animal that's not my fault. I am responsible for me and for my own actions, and if after careful consideration and an understanding of the commitment required to be a dog owner I chose to get a pedigree dog or two then fuck you for trying to make me feel bad about it. But see here's the rub PETA, I won't feel bad about it because I know that you are a bunch of lying, brain-dead, animal slaughtering misanthropic cuntbulters and since I already hate you and everything you stand for I'll just chalk this brief feeling of fury up to another notch on the pole of Fuck PETA I'm busily carving.
PETA- I am SO against them.



Anonymous laughykate said...

How uncool is it of me to suggest shooting the girl in the ad?

10:09 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Very cool, that way you can go adopt one from a pound.

10:17 a.m.  
Anonymous redleeroy said...

.......or shave, sterilise, and destroy her?

10:38 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Now now Red, it's in her best interest to be put down. It's the PETA way.

10:40 a.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

Bravo. What a pack of bilious mingehounds they are.

11:54 a.m.  
Anonymous Ronnie said...

Great post cuz., but why don't you get off the fence for a change ?

11:58 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Bilious mingehounds? Har.
I know Ronnie Darling, the splinters are killing me. But I like the view form this high up.

12:00 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have you seen the South Park episode about PETA? You should check it out!

12:25 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I did and it squiked my grossometre.

12:34 p.m.  
Blogger Chris Stokes said...

A great post, I must say. Thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

1:33 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...


"Cuntbutler" another great rant, Cat. I can't bring myself to watch the video yet, though. If it inspired that much vitriol from you, I can't imagine that I'll watch it and NOT implode.

2:06 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Cheers Chris.

Andraste, after you watch it and piece your head back together, wanna join me up here on the fence? I've got Malteasers.

3:45 p.m.  
Anonymous Penelope_CA said...

WOW, that video is some heavy handed tripe!

Since I had no desire for a specifc breed all my dogs have been pound puppies and have been great, loving pets. But it is heartbreaking to see so many wonderful dogs in shelters and know you can't save them all.

More importantly I think it is vital that the animals are given loving homes and that the owners are responsible no matter where they come from. Too many pets end up in shelters when their owners get tired of them or it's no longer convenient or fun.

I agree that irresponsible breeding is a big source of pet overpopulation but instead of going after people who want a specific breed why don't they focus on licensing breeders as so to limit those who, having shelled out a pretty penny for a purebreed, decide to have a few litters to make some money. I bet that many of those unfortunate dogs that end up in shelters come as leftovers from casual breeders.

apologies for the double post

3:48 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Exactly Penelope, people should think long and hard before getting a dog. They live a long time-if you're lucky- and are costly. It shouldn't be a snap decision and it shouldn't be something some eegit decides cause puppies are cute. But having said that, people should also not be castigated for wanting a certain type of dog. PETA can fuck right off.

3:55 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

FMC, you've written the contract for an ideal dog owner to recognize responsibility before adopting. We owe them much more than bleeping on about their rights and getting hysterical. If all dog owners took proper care and had them neutered, dogs wouldn't be homeless and then put down.

4:06 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

FMC, did you see the pugs over at the new blog Upside Down Dogs?

4:41 p.m.  
Blogger Dr. James McInerney said...

Medbh - I got slightly dizzy on that website.

5:29 p.m.  
Blogger daisy mae said...

bah - people NEVER realize what a responsibility a dog is. when managing the shelter, i often ran into people who scoffed at the idea of having to pay an adoption fee - saying that we should just give them the dog, since we were going to kill it anyway... except euthanasia was a very rare occurrence i would point out....

got in trouble with the "higher-ups" more than once for not adopting out to homes because i felt they were unsuitable.... i'm sorry, but if your 2-year old cannot handle the animal in the shelter under my (and your) direct supervision, i am NOT sending that animal home with you.

just because they're "shelter animals" doesn't mean that they should go to any home that will take them.

5:35 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"...fuck right off" is going to be my new motto. I don't have anything pertinent to add, as I don't own a dog, and know that I'm too busy with all the other animals in my house, including the pets, to properly care for one. I too hate PETA! And as soon as I get home from work I'll watch that video. I'll make my husband watch it too because it amuses me to watch his face turn red and the veins bulge on his forehead at the mere mention of anything to do with that group...teehee...great post!

5:44 p.m.  
Blogger Liz said...

well, arguments based on reason and logic never work on anyone. the only way to get people to think your ideas may have merit is to present them using shock and disgust.
geez, everyone knows that.

6:59 p.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

Upside down dogs. Awesome.

12:30 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Bollocks! Blogger ate my long comment, which went something like, 'Indeed, PETA are idiots Medbh I haven't but I can't wait, MPF, don't boot the telly, they're not worth it, DM, don't know how you have the patience, doff doff, Liz, mucho indeed, who will they alienate next,Twenty- me too....'
But more erudite, or less erudite. One of those.

12:58 a.m.  
Blogger Manuel said...

i really hate PETA........well said mammy cat

1:02 a.m.  
Anonymous Flu-Bird said...

PETA are a bunch of stupid frealin hippies they are so rediculous in their rediculous notions of animal rights its a wonder they still even think this idea of their must come from thir stead vegetarian diets and addiction to LDS and dope which if why their so absolutly stark raving stupid

2:06 a.m.  
Anonymous Bird of Paradise said...

I realy dont care for some bunch of idiots telling me what i can or cant eat or drink and PETA are that bunch of jerks Why dont PETA go to the wilderness of ALASKA and get frendly with a pack of wolves or a polar bear or go swimming with a orca and quit being such a bunch of drugggie stupidheads

4:35 a.m.  
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