Sunday, January 11, 2009

I Detest Swimming

I know it's good for you, I know it helps keep you fit, I know it's low impact, I know it's an all body encompassing sport.
But god damn it, I detest swimming.
That is all.*





* shakes head trying to unblock water from left ear.

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41 Comments:

Blogger gimme a minute said...

It'd be great if it wasn't for all the water.

5:24 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

I'm ashamed to say that I don't know how to swim. Maybe it's because when I went to take lessons as a kid, some dude threw me in the deep end.

6:01 p.m.  
Blogger Kim Ayres said...

I love swimming and would if I could. Unfortunately living this far north means there is no way you will get me in the sea. And as for public swimming pools, I've never been able to face them since it was pointed out to me that it's not the chlorine that makes your eyes sting, but the chlorine mixed with urine...

7:03 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hop on one foot to get the water out of you ear and tilt your head to the side the water is in. Don't know why it works but it does.

Boliath xx

8:48 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Useful thing to know Medbh, just in case.
Gimmie, Kim, it's the gym pool, christ alone knows what's in it, but I'm trying NOT to think about that right now.
Boliath, cheers! Now, where did you hide the camera?

9:24 p.m.  
Blogger Sweary said...

See, gym pools take all the fun out of swimming, because everything has to be done in such an orderly fashion. One should be allowed to bellyflop from time to time, you know.

9:44 p.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

Sorry FMC, I LOVE swimming.

Only in calm waters though.

Which is difficult to find.

Finding a place to swim where you don't want to kill everybody around you is difficult.

I need to meet somebody rich who can give me a private pool.

That will be my heaven.

10:58 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

You're supposed to swim clockwise at my pool Sweary, naturally that meant I pitched about doing a delightful diagonal anchor stroke.

Eva! When you do find one of those let me know, I've got a cossie and a coctail shaker.

11:51 p.m.  
Blogger Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Did you see any sea kittens during your swim?

12:45 a.m.  
Blogger The Hangar Queen said...

I didn't learn until I was 30.Loved it though.Then I had to pack it in for the last few years as it would have traumatized other swimmers.

Time to jump in again.

4:22 a.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

I was in a swimming club when I was younger and managed to grab a few trophies, but haven't been in years, tho I'm staying in a hotel with a pool at the end of the month so I may be tempted to dip my toes again.

Btw, I detest mondays.

9:20 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Pfft. Of course you swim clockwise. Stick to the outside of the lane, and no slowing down. Never put your fingers in your earsies to attempt to get the water out cos that will just push it in further. If it really bothers you get a pair of earplugs. I recommend 1,000m before breakfast to start the day.

9:53 a.m.  
Anonymous stipes said...

I stayed in a hotelin Thurles last year. The pool was colder than the Forty foot

9:53 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Morning folks.
'No slowing down' are you barking? I have to slow down, I can't bloody breathe right so I end up gaspping mid stroke, trying to pump stale air out while simultaneously sucking fresh air in. Oh yes, I'm a class act in the pool.
I have decided to add this poxy sport to my routine, I don't know how many lengths makes 1000m but I did 12 lengths yesterday and I plan on 20 lengths next outing( which horribly enough would be tomorrow)

I saw no sea kittens, but I did see a manatee in very tiny speedos.

10:09 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Now, before the speedos vs shorts aesthetic argument starts... shorts stick to the legs and create 'drag' in the water. Speedos are your only man.

10:56 a.m.  
Anonymous AM in Brussels said...

Round here, men have to wear speedos. No shorts allowed. The reasoning being that shorts could possibly be worn out and about, in the street, and thus would dirty the pool.

I have a pair of speedo type shorts for swimming. Too tight to be acceptable outside, but perfect for the pool.

I'm a terrible swimmer. I only learned how to float about 2 years ago, before that I used to sink like a stone. Heavy legs. Now I can stay up, breath (most of the time), and move very slowly.

I should probably take lessons.

11:09 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

There are speedos fellows, and then there are 'speedos'. These where the latter. More thong than my eyes were expecting. He was however a cracking swimmer and I envied his glide even as I avoided staring up the crack of his nether regions.

11:17 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Yeah, a fellow like that breastroking in front of you might cause your goggles to shatter.

12:17 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It certainly caused some seepage. I was mesmerized.

12:24 p.m.  
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