Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Goes? Goes bloody where or whatever.

'And then she goes-'
'Said.'
'And then I go, "well you should say that or whatever". You know?'
'And then she comes back and goes. "Did you see her?" And I goes,-'
'Said.'
'Yeah, whatever, anyway, I go she's a stupid Bitch. She's owes us a tenner. So we go upstairs and
Ish goes'-
'Said'
'Yeah, whatever anyway, Ish SAID, 'there she is!".'

And on it went. I listened, not on purpose you understand, but with anxiety and a mild thought to throw myself from my own moving car. The previous snippet was only part of an incredibly long winded account of a key ring of all things, told to me by Gothy of all people in my car yesterday, of all days.
After every 'goes' I automatically corrected her with 'said', every time I did this she replied, 'yeah, whatever, anyway' and thus the story took almost the entire car journey, and believe me, it wasn't that interesting a story to begin with. Dragged out with, 'Goes' 'said', yeah whatever, anyway' it went on for an almost unprecedented twenty-five minutes.
The moral of the story? Do not give teenagers lifts unless they are mute or listening to ipods.

Labels:

35 Comments:

Anonymous beady said...

For teenagers currently it's "Goes"...

Back a generation or 2 and it was "I turned around and said..." or "Then he turned around and said..." or "You can't turn around and say to me..." - that was just as irritating...

Everyone seemed to be pirouetting constantly as they spoke...

10:10 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Ahaha, twirling twirling always twirling. It must have been exhausting and quite sick making to have a natter.
Seriously, between all the coming and going I was quite confused.

10:24 a.m.  
Anonymous Penelope_CA said...

it's like, yanno, tragic how kids these days can't, yanno, speak proper like

10:49 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It's truly terrible. I said to Gothy, 'Gothy, you've got to learn to speak properly, it's PAINFUL listening to you.' But she just laughed. They laugh, damn them.

Sorry... I turned round to Gothy and I goes, 'Like, Gothy, you gotta like learn to speak yanno? It's like totally painful to be listening to you, right?'
But she was all, 'Hur Well duh. Chillax.'

ARGH.

10:57 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Huh?

11:18 a.m.  
Blogger The Hangar Queen said...

Like no way..ya know.

*Sidles in.Sits at the back.Holds head in hands.Hopes no one sees her*

Mornin' *Winces at the booming reverb inside my skull*

11:31 a.m.  
Blogger sliabh said...

*puts on the A&F hoodie, tracksuit legs, and ugg boots*
Like, Oh!, My! God!

I cannot live in this world. I need to move to an island restricted to people in the 30 to 40 age group.

11:44 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Hah, GOOD MORNING YOUR MAJESTY!!!I TRUST YOU ARE RECOVERED FOR YOUR TRIP!!!

COnan, INdeed,

Sliabh, wot? No large bag dangling from an upraised arm?? No big hair? Hmmm.

11:50 a.m.  
Anonymous Pinkie said...

Can I come too?! I am only 25 but I am very conscious of my grammar and sentencing. I am known as the Grammar Queen in work.
What I cannot STAND is listening to people who say 'done' instead of 'did' and 'seen' instead of 'saw'.

"I seen a program the other day..."
"I done this amazing handstand..."

You did not seen a program and you didn't done a handstand! GAHR!

I am guilty of doing the 'do be' though. You know the 'do be' ?

"I do be sitting in the office clawing my hair out and..."
*cringe*

12:09 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oh Pinkie, I understand. I hate, 'I was stood there.' And 'disconnect' as in 'there is a real disconnect between..' No there fucking isn't, there may be a disconnection, or you CAN disconnect something. And you where STANDING there.

12:13 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Oh, and your label - "not longer little Goth Kid in fact no longer Goth really" - gave me a moment thinking about how time moves on.

12:35 p.m.  
Anonymous morgor said...

ha, i picked up the nickname
"the corrector" for a while and got the dubious praise of "you're the most pedantic guy I know".

I have to constantly correct my mother from saying things like " would you learn me how to use the computer?"

ARGH, teach damnit TEACH!!

12:35 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

'Fraid so Conan. Gamma used to say 'time and tide wait for no man.' I think that's the way it rolls. Look at poor Gimmie for gawd's sake.


Morgor, oh I wouldn't let that one slide either, not for love nor money.

And even though I am a terrible speller-and I am aware and trying to do something about it- people who spell 'lose' as 'loose' drive me up the walls, I don't even know why, but it's like red rag to a bull.

1:55 p.m.  
Anonymous AM in Belgium said...

I don't know if it's anything to do with age. It's just a pedantic thing. My sister (younger) is worse than me for being picky with grammar and spelling. Almost to the point that I'm scared to e-mail her! ;)

I hate bad grammar. Badly positioned apostrophies; they're, their, there; and all sorts of other things drive me nuts.

But I have a very soft spot for the do bes and does bes. I use them a lot myself. Mainly because they make perfect sense, and also becuase it is something particularly Hibernian in the English language.

2:08 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Do be or not do be, AM, that surely is the question.

2:18 p.m.  
Anonymous The Bad Ambassador said...

You should of told Gothy....

I'm sorry... I can't.... not even in jest.

2:32 p.m.  
Anonymous beady said...

The Do be's does be a band from the 70's

Or is they has beens?

My other half, being from the big island off our eastern shore, once suggested I should speak proper english - "like wot she does"

2:45 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Heh, just do be putting on a telephone voice whenever youse speak, that'll learn her.

2:48 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

AM, it's the apostrophies [:)] that drive me nuts!

2:53 p.m.  
Anonymous AM in Belgium said...

Dammit.

I never claimed to be good at spelling.

3:00 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Don't fret, plural apostrophe's would be much worse!

3:07 p.m.  
Anonymous beady said...

And I've got a steering wheel in my underpants...

That's what drives me nuts...

3:14 p.m.  
Anonymous Cate said...

All that trickery pokery comes from reading too many Ross O' Carroll Kelly books. It's like OH! MY! GOD! Some of them need flipping translating.

3:16 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Hah, like Gothy reads...

3:22 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

FMC, there is a bright side. Gothy sounds like a teen instead of trying to sound like a 25 year old adult as I did at her age.

I mentioned before that what cured me of saying *like* all the fucking time was reading a transcript of my legal deposition. You could tape her and play it back maybe for shock value?

4:51 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, listen to Bobby George, Dart playing, husky voiced,sovereign ring enrusted Eastend cheeky chappy and cockney "geezah", dat'S WOT WAY TO SPEAK PROPER ENGLISH DAT IS MATE.

4:53 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Medbh, I suspect she'd just laugh at that too, she's easily entertained. Although you are correct, at least she's still happy enough being a teenager.
Monkey, that was boootiful,

On a side note, running and stretching are all far more difficult when one needs to stop and drain a bucket load of crap from one's bleedin' head ever kilometre or so. Where does it all come from?

6:16 p.m.  
Anonymous Pinkie said...

There was a big grafiti yokey bobber on the way into town somewhere and the 'artist' *cough cough* wrote:-
"Ya snooze ya loose" -
In big letters.
Like Brian in the Life of Brian...

ROMANES EUNT DOMUS

7:30 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oh dear! After all his hard 'work' too.

9:01 p.m.  
Blogger Manuel said...

sounds exactly like waiter chum number three, our 16 year old......I don't know what to say to her! I mean what do I talk to her about.........???

12:02 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Manuel, I think with 16 year old the words the most like to hear is, 'Here is some money' and 'Don't worry, I won't tell your mother.'

9:13 a.m.  
Blogger Manuel said...

ha that's so very true.......because I do know about her secret smoking......

11:17 p.m.  
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