Friday, December 19, 2008

What do I want for christmas? Why, peace and wellbeing to all.

"Fatmammycat is injured? Tell her I'll be right over!"-->
( oh if only)

I took painkillers last night going to bed because my back is quite sore from STEPPING OFF A KERB! I am outraged at this of course, outraged. How, I keep asking randomly, can a person hurt themselves stepping off a kerb? It's just so....stupid. I mean it's one thing to go, 'Oh yeah, I'm sore from, you know, taking down my instructer today, oh no, it was a axe kick..blah blah blah.' Or, 'Well I decided to rack up the Dead lift weight to 75k and after eleventy-hundred reps I sorta felt pain...' But, 'I stepped of a kerb and it really hurt' just sucks the bitterest of lemons. Naturally painkillers meant I slept like a dead sea scroll and am now two hours behind on just about everything today. BAH, and humbug.

Poor bloody horses in Waterford. Fuckers. I really hate people who are cruel to animals and to leave those poor creatures in agony like that makes me sick to my stomach. Seriously, how can anyone do something like that to three pure dumb animals. It's beyond my understanding.

Anyway, it is finally Gingerday, I can kick off my comfortable boots later and slip into something ridiculously high as the first of the Christmas get togethers begins. The paramour and I are out every night this weekend and though we are making all the usual blithering squeaks of 'Well... we'll just take it handy, we don't need to drink ALL the rum,' part of me is laughing and rolling its devilish eyes. I will probably need to take more painkillers at some point, at least to get me through kickboxing. Le fucking sigh, it there anything more tedious than being sore? Of course there is; bleating on about it. Mea fucking culpa.

Mood music as follows.



Anonymous The Bad Ambassador said...

You wouldn't be the first FMC.

ManYoo goalkeeper, Alex Stepney broke his jaw during a game. Was it a collision at the goal post or a player I hear you ask? Or maybe he used his face to block a shot?

Nope - he yelled so hard he broke his jaw.

At least it wasn't a self inflicted gun shot wound

11:09 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Good grief!

11:12 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You didn't deserve wrenching your back falling off the curb (American spelling alert!!), and Stepney didn't deserve a broken jaw for his enthusiasm.

But Plaxico TOTALLY deserved getting shot in the leg for wearing sweatpants to a nightclub.

I wish you and my loving Spouse both a titanium liver and an uncanny resistance to hangovers this weekend--he's celebrating his 33rd and after the work week he's had, he promises to do it up in style.

12:11 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Bloody fool weaing sweat pants with a gun tucked into it. So ghetto. Serves him right indeed. And happy Birthday to Spouse! May his liver be pink and robust.

12:23 p.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

Thought you might like this FMC

4:07 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Heh, if only Adam and Eve had access to a tin opener, thus love and adoration could ahve been bought cheap.
Have a good weekend Sheepie, off to kick stuff.

4:12 p.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

Cheeriebye and indeed toodlepip.

4:58 p.m.  
Blogger laughykate said...

Stepping off a curb, I'm hearing you.

Sometimes all I need to do is turn a certain way and I get a massive electric shock type thing going on in my back. People generally get alerted to it when an impromptu tortued'OHH MOTHERFUCKER!' comes shooting out of my mouth. It's generally greeted with looks of disbelief as to Jo Average it doesn't look like I've done anything. My replies to bewildered 'What did you do?' is just, 'OH nothing, just moved.'

9:10 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Stepping off a curb? Stepping, off a curb?

Going outdoors is overrated.

12:51 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It is rather, especually in winter. I should have stayed in my chair by the fire.

LK, that's mad about the electric shocks. I get them in the supermarket sometimes if I'm pusing the trolley. Sometimes they're loud enough to make that zapping sound, very bloody annoying.

10:27 a.m.  
Blogger Max Drive said...

FMC, when I was a 35 year old Police Officer I wrestled drunks, lifted victims and broke down doors as needed. One evening after work, I bent down to lift the Toilet Seat and spent two weeks afterward sleeping on the floor while my back repaired itself. I got to call my Chief and tell him a TOILET SEAT brought me down!

I empathize deeply with you. Here's hoping the Rum helps the pain. ;-)

1:14 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Rum helps everything Max, everything. It is the silly things that seem to hurt the most is it not? A good friend of the paramour's is currently in hospital and has been for weeks, having fallen no more than eight feet, poor man.
On an entirely unrelated matter , I am sure you were hot stuff indeed at 35 and in uniform.

3:19 p.m.  
Blogger jothemama said...

I used to get the elecric shocks all the tme. Dragging feet on synthetic flooring.

Go to the osteopath - really, it'll pop you back into place, stop any long term misalignment which you will greatly regret as you age! If something's out you tend to compensate somewhere else, and you end up all crooked sixpence.

9:55 p.m.  
Blogger Max Drive said...

FMC, you make me blush.

I can't drink though. I hear The Pipes and start throwing people. Not angrily, just in fun, but the damages can be bad...
As Highlanders' descendants go, I'm very large. That fact made the Toilet Seat episode even worse.

7:34 a.m.  
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12:44 p.m.  

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