'Don't go outside with wet hair you'll catch your death.'- hmm, wet hair equals death catching, okay.
'Get up off the ground; you'll get a cold in your kidneys.' ( ?)
'Don't stare at the sun; you'll go blind.' (?)
'Eat your carrots if you want good eyesight. ( lies, as a carrot lover and blind as bat I can pour real frothy vitriol on this one)
'Eat the crusts on your bread it will put hairs on your chest.' (This one came from Gamma's husband. Why any eight year old girl would want hair on their chest remains a mystery.)
'Don't be mauling those dogs! You'll get worms' ( oh for the love of...)
'Don't wash your hair everyday; you'll strip all the oils out of it' (oily hair=dirty hair, oh hooray, at least you won't catch death)
'Don't make faces; if the wind changes you'll be stuck with that face.' (gamma, after a few gins, and while her own face was making any number of weird contortions)
'If you want to get rid of warts, tie a couple of knots in some string and bury it, the warts will fall off over night) ( ?)
'Don't let cats sleep in your bed at night, they will steal your breath.' ( I can think of MANY reasons not to share a bed with cats, that they might be in league with death isn't one of them)
'Don't skip, you'll damage your spine.' ( ?, Gamma)
'Always tuck your vest in or you'll get a cold in your spine.' ( hmm, Gamma worried a great deal about cold and spines)
'Hot whiskey with five cloves will cure a flu/cold/Ebola virus' (vile)
'Eating an orange every day will stop you from catching the flu.' ( and yet I did catch flu once when I was young, and curiously enough I gaVe it to Gamma: we were both confined to bed for days and puked like puking champions- on the forth day of shivering and moaning I managed to get as far as the chair in the kitchen where I sat alternatively rattling or sweating. Gamma's husband discovered me and insisted I drink a 'cure' which I promptly brought back up on me, the chair, the fireplace, him, and just about anything else with a three metre radius.)
'Always keep a window open in your bedroom at night or you'll smother.' ( no wonder we got colds)
And lastly but by NO means leastly, 'If you hear a banshee scream on the night of the full moon she's going to take one of your family before the next new moon.' ( God Damn it Gamma! If you live in an area SURROUNDED by foxes that one can keep a girl going for years. But oh no, every morning full moon or not my mother was still around)
Any way, that was my childhood, and I'm sure you were burdened down with even more pearls of wisdom from your betters and elders. But the reason I'm caught on this today is because I read a pretty bloomin' interesting article in the Guardian this morning which made me sit up and take notice. For dammit if I didn't think half of them were true. Which means I am more like Gamma than any thirty-six year old needs to be. Eeek.
Today's eighties nostalgia is for Andraste.
Labels: Pass me the gin.