Motivation...somewhat lacking.
I was telling Kim the other day that folk in my gym looked decidedly glum and much put upon at the moment. Chumley Finn wants to do nothing more than curl up around a good book and pretend the outside world has fallen off a cliff, and I have insomnia.
I can't decide what gives exactly and find myself asking whence the energy vortex? It's got to be a January thing, no? A natural lull in energy levels, a post Christmas crash of sorts. I noticed it out and about this morning, folk looked not grumpy per se, but tired, deflated, we all seem that bit jaded.
As another day stretches out before me, and my egg white omelette settles boringly in my stomach I find I am swaddled in ennui. I must work for a few hours, I must attend the gym around 11:30 to make my 'can't really be arsed' legs run for 10k, I must return home and have lunch, then kick a cat out of my chair and work some more. Then I've got to go to bloody shops. Then dinner, then work, meh, same old same old.
Anyway, I was being all 'meh' and 'oh woe is me' and 'wah I'm tired' when the Paramour sent me an email about a friend of ours. Without going into a huge amount of detail, the email was sent to him from the wife of a friend of ours who is in hospital in a foreign country. Her husband, our friend, had a particularly nasty accident just before Christmas, resulting in a serious head injury. In her email, this lady expressed delight that our friend could come home for a few hours from hospital, and that he could read long sentences again, that he was learning to cook again. That although confused he was starting to remember things said to him five minutes beforehand.
I read it, feeling relieved, feeling ashamed, feeling like a bit of a divvy.
Yes January can be a bit of a chore; yes watching what you eat can be tedious; yes, working can be arduous; yes going to the gym can be a pain in the arse sometimes. But I can do these things without thinking. There is nothing wrong with me. Apart from being a bit tired I am robustly healthy. I can decide whether or not to mope or metaphorically kick myself in the arse.
Today, I believe I will kick my self in the arse. Because, really, it occurs to me that it's not such a bad day after all.
I can't decide what gives exactly and find myself asking whence the energy vortex? It's got to be a January thing, no? A natural lull in energy levels, a post Christmas crash of sorts. I noticed it out and about this morning, folk looked not grumpy per se, but tired, deflated, we all seem that bit jaded.
As another day stretches out before me, and my egg white omelette settles boringly in my stomach I find I am swaddled in ennui. I must work for a few hours, I must attend the gym around 11:30 to make my 'can't really be arsed' legs run for 10k, I must return home and have lunch, then kick a cat out of my chair and work some more. Then I've got to go to bloody shops. Then dinner, then work, meh, same old same old.
Anyway, I was being all 'meh' and 'oh woe is me' and 'wah I'm tired' when the Paramour sent me an email about a friend of ours. Without going into a huge amount of detail, the email was sent to him from the wife of a friend of ours who is in hospital in a foreign country. Her husband, our friend, had a particularly nasty accident just before Christmas, resulting in a serious head injury. In her email, this lady expressed delight that our friend could come home for a few hours from hospital, and that he could read long sentences again, that he was learning to cook again. That although confused he was starting to remember things said to him five minutes beforehand.
I read it, feeling relieved, feeling ashamed, feeling like a bit of a divvy.
Yes January can be a bit of a chore; yes watching what you eat can be tedious; yes, working can be arduous; yes going to the gym can be a pain in the arse sometimes. But I can do these things without thinking. There is nothing wrong with me. Apart from being a bit tired I am robustly healthy. I can decide whether or not to mope or metaphorically kick myself in the arse.
Today, I believe I will kick my self in the arse. Because, really, it occurs to me that it's not such a bad day after all.
Labels: a timely reminder.
posted by fatmammycat at 9:34 a.m.
22 Comments:
As nobody else has the motivation to respond - a little perspective is always a good thing.
Agreed.
However, a big perspective is better known as an appalling vista.
It certainly is. I ran 5k at 27.8 today. Granted I thought I was going to puke when I got off the damn mill and it took me quite some time to slow my heart down, but it had given me something to work towards. I want to be able to run 10k in 50 minutes. I know it is doable, I'm sure of it. ( I know other folk can do it, I'm talking about me here, missus no gears)
I have set myself the goal of being really positive this week. Hasve to if I am to survive the deluge of work they have lined up for me.
I was just sitting here awash in self-pity at being hungover, and at work, with a bruised hip from going arse over tit on the ice at the supermarket parking lot. Yeesh. Now I'm just happy to be alive and able to remember where I parked my truck. Thanks for that!
Me too Docky! Let's be pack mules but relatively happy pack mules together.
Ouch Andraste. Hips are so painful too. I think we all have days like that when we're feeling a bit under the weather. Not nice, but not the end of the world either.
( I keep telling myself)
Here is my theory on the January lull (for what it's worth). Maybe it's obvious, but there is all this huge build-up to Christmas. Everyone is excited and shopping and there is a lot of energy in the air. After Christmas and New Years are over there is nothing until Spring and quite a space between the two. I always fall into a bit of a funk at this time just waiting on Spring to get here.
I hope your friend continues to improve.
Thanks 74, you're most likely correct and I can't wait for that first mild evening that lets you know the good weather is around the corner.
It's a peculiar thing having a head injury, but it's very positive that he's connecting up more things and using his memory again.
I think I just don't have enough Nordic genes in me. I'm pretty certain January would be much easier to cope with in, say, Greece or Southern Spain.
Indeed, good point, filthy weather and gloomy days are not exactly spirit lifting.
The general mallaise that is prevalent among the general populice stems from the realisation that we are essentially, living in a shit tip of a country, that is going down the drain faster than last nights dodgy takeaway.
The stark realisation of unemployment, bank collapse, share devaluation, and the seemingly inept leadership of the country, may have something to do with it.
The realisation that the conservatory (de rigeur on all Celtic Tiger new build ) the car the two holidays a year...all have to be paid for, with a reduced income is a sobering thought, for even the most empty headed ciabatta eating yummy mummy.
On the otherhand, it could just be the realisation that you work your arse off, then you die and that's it, sort of thing.
Is that all there is? As the song asked.
Dormer bungalows, room for a pony and and and
is that all there is?
That just reminds me of this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFurRPjCOR4
Which reminds me of The Birdcage and raised pinkies, which puts me in rather good humour. Bitsy Von Muffling. Oh dear.
Hmmmm... Anon... while I will bemoan the weather a bit, and feel low and struggle with tiredness and depression, I never talk about what a shit country we live in.
Because I do have a roof over my head, running water, access to hospitals and food in my belly.
My 19 year old niece, who went out to Bali, Indonesia and married a local lad has just had to endure him dying over the past 2 months in a local hospital because of lack of healthcare. She is 19 and now a widow.
I might miss the sunshine, but don't tell me this "Shit tip of a country" is so much worse than some parts of Europe, most parts of South America, large parts of Asia and 99.9% of Africa.
Sorry FMC. Feeling a bit raw.
No problem, that's a hell of a thing to happen. Poor woman, how awful for her to ahve gone through something like that.
My sympathies to your friend, FMC.
I had severe head trauma many years ago (fractured skull & contusions on the brain) and it is no fucking fun trying to build memories and an attention span afterwards.
Yikes Medbh, that's too awful. It's frightening and upsetting to watch someone try to make sense or communicate when they've suffered a head trauma. Frightening and upsetting for the poor person with the injury too. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Nothing like other people's struggling realities to deliver an upper cut to stop one marinating in oneself.
Also, I reckon the weather has got a lot to answer for. Cause I'm happy as a clam basking in summer down here, my major problem is that I'm not still on holiday.
I hope you peal!
Yeah, but come July I will be a morbid depressed fucker while all you guys frolick about in glorious warm weather.
Darling girl, this is Ireland, come July we'll be building arks.
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