Cats and Dogs, Men and Woman.
Being a woman and a feminist ( ow, paws on mouth, she said what now?) it is assumed I like cats. Actually being a cat owner it is assumed I like cats, (I do). But did you know a person can like cats AND dogs!! I know, it's CLEARLY a fiercesome lie.
Oh yes I do. It's a right strange one is it not. Some feminists actually like cats and dogs, and think that liking both is rather easy and not a terrible chore, and they can even cheerfully recognise that cats and dogs have subtle and unsubtle differences. Raised right, cats and dogs often get along really really well with each other. No I SWEAR, it's totally true!
But first, let me roll out some cliches for you.
Cats- aloof, unfriendly, only in it for the food, aloof, they'd eat you if you died, aloof.
Dogs- loyal, friendly, don't care if you feed them or not, friendly, won't eat you if you die, friendly.
Got that? Dogs, friendly, loyal (and men like them).
Cats, aloof, will eat you the moment your dead back is turned, (women like them).
Now I know readers to MY blog are too smart to fall for this blatant fuckwittery, but over the rest of the blogosphere the peoples, well dey be less than enlightened.
Do we really need to attribute human personalities and quirks and sexist overtones to the animal world in order to disparage each other. Can't a dog be aloof and a bit of a bollocks? What the hell does the Dog Whisperer do all the time if not try to unbollox dogs who are vicious and mean and actually 'misunderstood.' Are all dogs affable fools who'll just love you if you just feed them and rub their bellies and let them play with balls every so often. Er, no. So are all men affable fools who....well you see where I"m going with this.
I can't remember ever being chased by a pack of territorial cats.
Are cats aloof? They can be, they're small animals so need to be on the look out for trouble. Are ALL cats aloof? Nope. Are they really plotting your demise while shedding hair all over the couch you worked so fucking hard to pay for? Will they be out on the tiles the moment you're back is turned? Maybe. So will all women eat you the moment you turn your back? Er, nope.
Because we're not fucking cats and dogs, and cats and dogs are not folk.
We are all individuals! YES! WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS. (He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy.)
Anyone who wants to take the time to read between the lines on this one should open a Twix first.
In the mean time I'm off to gym where I will arch my back pleasingly and scratch some one's eyes out if they so much as wag their tail at me. Cause oh yeah, that's what mean aloof cats do to affable loyal kind hearted dogs.